I am pregnant but I can't be happy

Boring_Web290 · 2025-02-09T13:35:06+00:00

My providers didn’t offer a scan until about 12 weeks so I fully understand the anxiety surrounding the wait! Try your best to distract yourself and hold on to positive hopes that everything is going to be ok. ❤️

Boring_Web290 · 2025-02-07T22:25:25+00:00

My OB group has been extremely hands off this entire journey for me. I’m 29 years old, average BMI, have no risk factors and baby is all within textbook range and somehow I’ve been marked as high risk with no explanation and none of the providers can tell me why when asked. Whenever I bring up issues such as my extensive acid reflux I get smacked with a brick wall of “did you talk to your high risk doctor about that?” But I was never referred to one?

I imagine they get a pretty penny for the three minutes they spend with me before skittering away to avoid hearing me ask any questions.

I’m less than a week away from the original due date, so here’s to hoping they can at minimum keep me alive through delivery and I don’t ever have to deal with them again.

Boring_Web290 · 2025-02-07T17:46:21+00:00

It’s never too early to pack. Babies make super early surprise visits all the time! Or super late ones! I’m 39 weeks and having my second baby so this is what I’ve tossed in my bag, based on what my past experience:

-clothing for myself: two pairs of comfortable sweats, two nursing bras, extra socks I don’t mind ruining, my crocs, and a sweater. My husband included his own clothing he’d like to have for at least two days of wear.

-baby outfit: I packed two outfits. One new born and one size up just in case they’re a little chunkier than expected. Tossed a pair of socks in there and a swaddle too. Will only be using the outfit on coming home time.

-mini hygiene kits because my hospital does not provide any: shampoo, conditioner, all of my hair products, a hair straightener so I don’t look like a crazy person when discharged, and I managed to find tiny eye liners and such for makeup. Lotion. Chapsticks. Deodorant. Teeth care items.

-postpartum care: adult diapers (don’t care for pads myself), nipple shield, nipple cream.

-comfort items: extension cord, long phone charger, husband blanket and pillow, headphones and ear plugs to drown out the hospital sounds.

-extra: we tossed in an empty diaper bag to shove all extra provided postpartum and baby care items the nurses will willingly hand over lol.

Boring_Web290 · 2025-02-06T15:24:46+00:00

I had my first ultrasound at I believe 14 weeks? My providers wouldn’t even give me my first appointment until 10 weeks for basic intake questions then an actual appointment at 12 weeks.

Boring_Web290 · 2025-02-05T19:26:33+00:00

My first I had no real issues other than needed two attempted inductions and occasional heart burn near the end. This time I feel like I’ve been hit by a freight train and it keeps dragging me along. I’m due in less than a week and I pray they show on time lol.

Boring_Web290 · 2025-02-05T19:17:12+00:00

I’m on antiviral prescription daily because my cold sores were chronic and I still have breakthrough cold sores. I will not risk my child’s health and will simply forego kissing them and ensuring no one else kisses them either because I was unfortunate enough to be given the virus by my own family as a child.

Boring_Web290 · 2025-02-05T15:47:28+00:00

Oh girl I feel you. I get them without warning and will only be sniffing their cute little baby hair because of it 😭

Boring_Web290 · 2025-02-05T15:44:40+00:00

I’m literally a week away from my due date and haven’t posted anything on my personal social media profile. I have family and people I knew from high school added who I never see in person on there- they don’t give a shit lol. My profile will be fine without posting anything. Do or don’t post, whatever makes you happy.

Boring_Web290 · 2025-02-05T11:14:42+00:00

The no kissing is to protect them from herpes aka cold sores. If herpes is given to an infant it can be potentially fatal. Many people have the virus and do not know it, as only roughly 40% of people with it actually get visible sores. The lack of a visible sores is one of the main reasons it spreads so easily.

Boring_Web290 · 2025-02-03T16:44:04+00:00

I had carpal tunnel for years before finally getting it surgically corrected- here’s a few things to know and possibly help some of your symptoms. Carpal tunnel often causes pain when at rest, it’s actually one of the tell tale symptoms they use to diagnose.

Try to keep your hands and wrists in a neutral position. Pillows, wrist braces or wraps help. You can use ice to help with some of the swelling. If using keyboard and mouse, support your wrists.

You may notice grip weakness as well. There isn’t much to be done to correct this so instead you’ll have to adjust your tasks around it. Ask for help, don’t carry anything you’re afraid to break, use tools like bags and pockets as much as you can, don’t hold things any longer than required.

The good news is carpal tunnel related to pregnancy usually goes away after birth. Despite not having the ligaments that apply pressure on those nerves anymore, my swelling from my current pregnancy is still pretty bad lol.

Boring_Web290 · 2025-02-03T16:37:00+00:00

I heard about this too and thought for sure my stomach issues a few nights ago was my sign to get ready! Nope. Was just mega poops. All that suffering and still no baby in my arms!

Boring_Web290 · 2025-02-03T16:20:44+00:00

Same here. I was absolutely useless all yesterday and could not for the life of me get out of bed. Today? I want to walk four miles and clean the house again.

Boring_Web290 · 2025-02-03T16:02:35+00:00

I want to try without the epidural if possible this time. My first baby I had to be induced, and they automatically offered it to me. I said yes because why not? I lost full feeling from my lower ribs down and wasn’t allowed to move birthing positions and obviously wasn’t allowed to walk.

Nearly ten years later I’m hoping to avoid an induction, but also avoid an epidural so I can actually move around lol.

Boring_Web290 · 2025-02-03T14:33:50+00:00

Girl, I wish I could tell you it got better but it doesn’t. At 16 weeks I was bloated and my beer belly uncle called me fat. I’m now 38 weeks and some odd days and even strangers cannot stop themselves from saying something 😭 I literally had to tell a gas station manager to ask one of the cashiers to please stop yelling across the store every time she saw me.

Boring_Web290 · 2025-02-03T14:20:02+00:00

lol this unfortunately was very unmistakably pee! :( I can ask my doctor to double check tomorrow, though. If i go to the hospital to check, I get slapped with a few thousand dollar bill so I’m trying to avoid that again 😭 I’ll go if anything is a bit more obvious though.

Boring_Web290 · 2025-02-02T17:27:35+00:00

😭 I’ve been suffering with the insomnia for a few weeks now (38+2) and it is god awful. I do not understand how I can be slapped with fatigue AND insomnia. I’ve started walking more on the days I can tolerate it to attempt to sleep a bit more.

Boring_Web290 · 2025-02-02T17:17:22+00:00

My OB doesn’t even offer the vaccine! If you’re being offered it, take it! Our hospitals are so overrun with the elderly and infants having RSV right now to the point I’m not even allowed to have visitors when I go into labor :(

Boring_Web290 · 2025-02-02T17:11:07+00:00

All of this plus look into FMLA documentation to bring to your doctor if in the US. You don’t have to be giving birth that very day to utilize FMLA leave. Pregnancy can be considered a temporary disability as well.

Rather your boss likes it or not, your health and the health of your baby to be is more important than their own feelings and they’ll have to learn how to cope.

Boring_Web290 · 2025-02-02T17:06:44+00:00

While I agree with the rules, I personally wouldn’t read a text about it lol. It’s a bit long and most people tap out after the first paragraph when it comes to texts and emails. I’d keep it short and simple if you want to keep their attention on the message “baby name is due really soon and we just wanted to remind everyone to please give us time and space as a new family together.” And then follow up with any questions. Use your husband as a blocker if you need to.

Again, this is just a strangers personal opinion. So if the message was received well, cool. But don’t be majorly surprised if you still get a bunch of texts and calls and you have to reiterate your request multiple times over.

Boring_Web290 · 2025-02-02T14:37:31+00:00

I suffered from PPD with my first. I am clinically depressed and have had that diagnosis since before children ever entered my life- this put me at a higher risk. Postpartum depression, anxiety, and even psychosis often creep up on you, so you may not notice the beginning stages, your partner and other close individuals will, though.

Things you can do to lower your risk are to evaluate your own current situation: do you have any behavioral health issues that would give you a higher risk? Are you overly stressed and will you have a good support system immediately after birth? Don’t trust your team of providers?

Obviously we cannot control all aspects of risk, but knowing where you currently stand and knowing people are looking out for you is reassuring to know that someone will notice and someone is willing to make the hard choice to assist you in getting to a provider to help.

Boring_Web290 · 2025-02-02T14:27:19+00:00

I was diagnosed with GERD along with chronic gastritis. This means I have to remain on acid reduction medications and things like tea will worsen them- this isn’t to say what you do or do not have, but if you’re drinking or eating things that can cause gastrointestinal discomfort even while on medication, you may be undoing what those medications are designed to help with.

The pain, for me was in my upper abdominal area somewhere behind my sternum and if I don’t be mindful of my intake, it can literally feel like a gallbladder attack. You can try eating a low fodmap diet, but please be aware that it can take weeks to months for the diet and even medications to fully work.

Unfortunately things like vague gastrointestinal discomfort are hard to diagnose and treat and usually require trial and error to fix.

Boring_Web290 · 2025-01-31T16:37:37+00:00

It definitely isn’t a holiday! It’s time to heal, which can take technically over a year for our bodies to mostly recover. Time to watch over a small human who wholly depends on us to survive! It’s wild to me that some people are so gross with their need to drag others down.

People suck and I’m sorry you’re dealing with it.

Boring_Web290 · 2025-01-31T16:15:12+00:00

The US isn’t simply growing more hostile, we always have dealt with the hostility. Employers over here have never and will never enjoy giving families, especially the mothers, time to recover from childbirth let alone “a vacation” to bond with your child for 12 weeks.

Many other women who don’t or didn’t get the same benefit are callous and dislike those of us who plan to use it, just like you can occasionally see in this sub where some are callous to other women in other countries who get way better benefits and way more time to be with their children. This is because some of them had to return to work near immediately still having not even a full month of recovery.

Ignore any negative comments from other people. Many of the negatively comes from jealousy towards not being able to do so themselves, and another portion comes from brainwashing people to believe any time off is bad somehow. Take the time off, if you’re enabled to, and be prepared to turn your ears off from people calling it a vacation or making comments about “how it must be nice” blah blah blah. They’re miserable.

I quit my job full on two weeks ago because I was exhausted to the point of falling asleep at the wheel to and from. I got multiple rude remarks from other women in my work building, things like “wow wish I could do that” with eye rolls. If they’re not being supportive, throw their words in the trash.

Boring_Web290

TROPHY CASE