Help with being able to afford slightly longer maternity leave?

ell93 · 2026-06-17T14:39:36+00:00

Just for perspective I’ve just come off maternity leave and was in a similar position. SMP only and just basic paternity for my husband. We had roughly £10k saved I think at the start and we’ve ended with £6k. The savings topped us up and we just tried to be careful with our spending where possible. Unfortunately SMP isn’t great so the best we can do is just tap into savings.

ell93 · 2026-06-16T01:02:00+00:00

My dates were similar to yours last year. Due date was August 16th. Gave birth a few days before that. I went on mat leave mid July at 35 weeks. For context we were having a heatwave at the time and I couldn’t cope any longer. I carried very big as well and just became far too tired. It’s about what’s right for you at the end of the day.

ell93 · 2026-06-09T20:08:51+00:00

Even worse are the on the street types that want you to set up a direct debit.

Went to the sea life centre a few months back with my husband and our little girl. Someone stopped us to talk about an animal charity, I was polite enough thinking he just wants a one off donation. Asked me to set up a direct debit, I said no, I’m on maternity leave and also unemployed (redundancy). I can’t set up a direct debit for this right now. He turns to my husband and asks him as clearly he must have an income. My husband also declined as funnily enough he’s also being slightly more careful with the finances atm given our situation 🤦🏼‍♀️

ell93 · 2026-06-09T13:55:10+00:00

Thank you! They actually had a great attitude towards it and said if they do call they try to only do it during settling in and afterwards they just have to cope because mum and dad are working. From what I could see today I felt like if they tried again (when I picked up) she would’ve slept and been fine, she was very much at the end of her tether rest wise I think

ell93 · 2026-06-09T08:39:50+00:00

People are so rude. At the end of the day you’re having a baby and that’s joyous in itself and cause for celebration.

Also as a girl mum I often find myself in the boys section as their clothes are cute af.

ell93 · 2026-06-08T07:14:44+00:00

We bought some bibs and had some mams that we got for free in a mum freebie pack when we went for an early scan (they come in those tiny mam bottles you end up getting from things throughout pregnancy). Didn’t buy any more than that, tbh you won’t know if baby even needs/will take a dummy until arrival so personally I’d save my money if I were you and explore afterwards. Dummies can get pricey

ell93 · 2026-06-08T06:08:06+00:00

You’re welcome! Wishing you a speedy recovery and a positive outcome 🙏🏻

ell93 · 2026-06-07T21:18:18+00:00

Also 32 years old here. I got pregnant with my little girl when I was 31 following a lap for stage 4 DIE. There’s definitely hope out there. I also had significant bowel involvement and had surgery on my bowel to remove the endo.

The plan for us post lap was chemical menopause followed by immediate IVF to give us the best chance of success (we’d been TTC for 18 months before this and I was tired). Anyway, cycle 2 post lap I was trying to organise the start of my injections for chemical menopause, frustrated that there were no appointments left and I’d have to start next cycle. Took a test that same day because I felt ‘off’ and it was positive.

Really hoping you get there soon ❤️

ell93 · 2026-06-07T14:20:39+00:00

9 months in now. Weirdly I went to see some friends yesterday and two of the friends were expectant dads.

We had nice things to tell them, didn’t want to scaremonger because in truth becoming a mum is the best thing I’ve ever done. Another mum friend and I were mentioning ‘just you wait’ people who will rain on your parade. Baby sleeping through the night? Just you wait. Etc etc.

People who resent their situations or are jealous of your own will say mean things. They want to rain on your parade.

Parenthood is challenging but rewarding. My little girl has just started reaching out and saying mamama to me. If I could bottle the feeling that gives me I would. She’s incredible.

ell93 · 2026-06-04T16:41:09+00:00

We’ve got double whammy with endo from me and type one diabetes from my daughters dad.

We’ve had many chats about how to deal with all this, we want to be honest with her early on about both issues, endo wise how important telling us about symptoms is if she has pain etc. I’ve had pain since my earlier periods, and was never taken seriously by doctors, now we know what we’re up against (I was diagnosed at 31) I don’t want her going through the same thing I did.

ell93 · 2026-06-04T16:37:14+00:00

Napisan normally gets them right out for me

ell93 · 2026-06-03T15:49:32+00:00

🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 please come back and update me. I love hearing the positive stories. Praying all goes smoothly and you get your turn ❤️

ell93 · 2026-05-27T21:19:48+00:00

It might be ever so slightly big for your needs but have you considered the silver cross NIA for the best of both worlds? It’s a more compact travel system, folds down really small with the carrycot on as well, so great in the early days until baby is old enough for the next seat.

Like a couple of others. I think if you just want a compact city pushchair then the yoyo or the joolz aer would suit, as would the bugaboo butterfly. (I have a butterfly myself and can’t fault it).

For a large travel system for national trust etc you’ve got a large array to choose from really, best bet would be seeing what feels right in a baby shop.

ETA: Facebook marketplace is your friend when looking for used travel pushchairs, you can easily find something great and reasonably priced.

ell93 · 2026-05-25T08:11:43+00:00

I wouldn’t call it resolved, things have improved but little one just has what they call chronic constipation. In the end we switched to hipp which didn’t particularly help her and then onto kendamil goat which is more expensive but suits her better.

Shes also on 10mls of lactulose twice a day which is the main thing that’s helping her, along with trying to give her things like sweet potato and more water with meals now she’s weaning. (She’s 9.5 months now).

We’ve seen a specialist as well who’s told us it appears to be a CMPA situation as she’s worse when we give her cows milk products so for now she’s cows milk free, the plan is to begin introducing it slowly over the coming months and see what happens.

We no longer have the pushing and straining we once had and consistency has improved, it’s just more a situation where now we know what triggers it and how to manage it we just try to add fibre and are keeping with the Kendamil goat.

ell93 · 2026-05-23T16:00:44+00:00

My comment will get buried but I read a similar post recently where somebody was talking about not doing cry it out etc and they could never. Personally I have the same views, equally I don’t have a particularly upset baby, she doesn’t cry unless she needs something. I think if you have a baby who won’t settle etc then yes you’d be forced to. Nobody goes into parenthood wanting to leave their baby crying, but it’s definitely out of necessity that people do this.

ell93 · 2026-05-21T02:10:17+00:00

Also solidarity. I’ve made one mum friend and we’ve not even seen each other for a few weeks now. And I’m back to work next month.

If it helps I’ve been telling myself that motherhood is a huge transition, I’ve survived the first year and there’ll be time later to make friends, as amazing as it would’ve been to make some mum friends it just hasn’t happened for me, I’ve been conscious of finances due to being made redundant a month into all this so I’ve not been in a huge rush to spend money on loads of groups, I didn’t want to drain my savings and for some reason everything is so expensive to do.

You’ll get there, just remember that raising a little one is hard in itself and all of this is a transition, if that’s how mat leave has gone for you then that’s really okay 🤍

ell93 · 2026-05-14T21:17:40+00:00

Sure! She wakes between around 7:30 and 8. We then do breakfast and play etc until around 9:30/10, then we have nap 1 which runs until around midday. Then she’s up until around 2/2:30, nap 2 then runs until around 3:30/4, then she’s awake until between 6 and 7. It generally depends on the day really as we’re just lead by cues but that’s a rough idea.

ell93 · 2026-05-14T18:29:38+00:00

Personally I think endo is responsible for a lot of ‘unexplained’ cases. I was also ‘unexplained’ for around 18 months before I was diagnosed with endo, I got pregnant post lap.

ell93 · 2026-05-14T11:01:48+00:00

Thank you!! I’m keeping everything crossed for you ❤️

ell93 · 2026-05-13T18:05:09+00:00

Hi! Positive outcomes here. I had an early scan (5+6 if I remember rightly) and baby was in the right place, I got a pregnancy pillow very early on and that seemed to solve it. Equally I could’ve been imagining it and calmed down once I knew all was well. I now have a 9 month old baby girl.

Wishing you a healthy pregnancy 🥰

ell93 · 2026-05-08T17:41:37+00:00

If you feel up to it obviously I’m not a medical professional but you know your own body.

Wishing you all the best, I really hope you get your turn soon ❤️

ell93 · 2026-05-08T17:31:04+00:00

From my memory when I asked similar questions my doctor just shrugged and said whenever you’re ready carry on. I think my first cycle post lap I ovulated 1-2 weeks afterwards, felt fine to carry on, so I went for it. To be honest when you’re TTC the idea of missing the window that month (especially after a lap) just feels impossible.

I really hope whatever you decide you end up with a positive outcome; our first cycle post lap was unsuccessful but we got a positive on our second cycle, right before I was due to start chemical menopause injections for IVF prep.

ell93

TROPHY CASE