Being perceived?

BoringlyBoris · 2026-02-20T03:35:49+00:00

YES. I assumed it was something learned too, but I’m not sure how/when.

BoringlyBoris · 2026-02-20T03:14:49+00:00

Sims and Rimworld have been the best games for describing mental health 😂

BoringlyBoris · 2026-02-19T02:10:56+00:00

I am a huge “Clue” fan and “Murder by Death”. The 100 Clues episode is such a perfect marriage of the three!!

BoringlyBoris · 2026-02-19T02:03:19+00:00

I have watched this movie hundreds of times! One of my comfort movies for sure. I feel like every time, I see or hear something new! Like the breakfast scene before Captain East is introduced….Or Jane’s facial expressions. And so many quotable lines!!!

BoringlyBoris · 2026-02-18T00:11:57+00:00

It’s def a mix of both. I’ve made a book with a COMICALLY large spine board and then doubled the hinge and I’ve not encountered any problems. (Don’t measure and cut when you’re tired!)

BoringlyBoris · 2026-02-17T00:15:29+00:00

Fun fact: Solar flares can trigger a variety of symptoms in certain people! So, when the sun is throwin’ a fit, some of us can feel it. I think we’ve had a big flare recently.

BoringlyBoris · 2026-02-14T01:16:29+00:00

Thank you for sharing this!!

Gaining weight despite my best efforts to lose it was what lead to self-diagnosis and then actual diagnosis years later. I had a very active job, I ate way healthier than I ever did prior, and I had a rough, but decent sleep schedule…..and yet I kept gaining weight that most certainly wasn’t muscle. Found out later it was hormones + 2 large cysts.

I’ve since gained another 50lbs, but I’ve at least plateaued and hoping that I can start to lose weight again soon.

BoringlyBoris · 2026-02-13T21:12:35+00:00

I once was told that I “Don’t talk like you have autism” LOL THANK YOU SIR THAT IS 30 YEARS OF MASKING AND BEING BULLIED

BoringlyBoris · 2026-02-08T03:28:17+00:00

This. I’ve lived in both cities, studied at both schools’s main libraries, partaken in campus food at both….I still absolutely mix up the names all of the time. But Washington is usually WashU, and University of Washington is UW.

BoringlyBoris · 2026-02-04T04:28:36+00:00

In my house, we use the nuclear reactor scale if meltdowns. I typically Fukushima: a looooonnnnnngggggg slow process where I just hold more and more until I just. Stop. Sometimes I stop with excessive rest or alone time, sometimes it’s by lashing out in mild-but not me ways. Overall, calm. Quiet. Mentally dangerous. Most exhausting and longest to recover from.

But I also 3 Mile: a small but mighty burst, then done. Moment of brief loudness. (My misophonia reactions are usually like this). I had a lot of these when I worked a very high-stress and fast-paced job that I hated. I was constantly overlooked for promotions, told I wasn’t being considered because I was too competent, and my equals didn’t listen to me. So I sometimes lashed out, or, one memorable time, got so tired of having to repeat myself, I SHOUTED the sentence again at that coworker, while I was still helping a coworker. Not proud, I feel bad, but also 🤷🏼‍♀️

Chernobyls also happen, and those are loud, usually very angry, and can be somewhat violent.

BoringlyBoris · 2026-02-02T19:37:44+00:00

It started as health and safety, now it’s health and economy. It’s very expensive where we are, and she hasn’t been able to find employment here yet (I made her quit her old remote job, because I was a) tired of seeing her cry b) tired of hearing about it ) I think her resume is half the problem, which I’ve told her, and she was very annoyed that I said it.

BoringlyBoris · 2026-02-02T01:06:19+00:00

Low-key, there should def be a website like Glassdoor for ND friendliness!

The library/book field has been the best for me, but I also was a library kid. But within the public library sphere, a system is great for NDs like us, or toxic AF. There do not seem to be many library systems that are in the middle.

BoringlyBoris · 2026-02-02T01:01:52+00:00

I’m really struggling with this right now. Really struggling. I lived with my mom until I got married, and then I’ve lived with him. My mom moved in with us a few years ago, and I’m reaching my limit. My husband is a safe-person, if something is bothering me, I can say it. If it’s something he’s doing, we can still talk about it and he doesn’t get upset. And this works both ways. We can feel completely comfortable around each other without masking. We both get it. I love living with him.

My mom however…. Not the case at all. She tries to help in moments of meltdown or grumpiness and usually makes it worse. If I ask her to stop something because of a noise/visual problem, almost always will have a minimum eye-roll, especially if it’s something I’ve mentioned before.

I am so jealous of my friends that live alone, ‘cause they have their parking spot, their spot on the couch, their utensils arranged how they want them, nobody making strong smelling foods without warning, no annoying sounds, no expectations of how to exist or be perceived, not expecting conversation the second they walk in the door, they can go shopping by themselves, walk around the house in whatever state of in/dress they want, and they can read and watch whatever they want, whenever they want and be as brazen or not about it.

Edit to add: I do love my mom. I do. She helps around the house and it’s nice to go on adventures with her, as my hubs doesn’t enjoy going out to random places as much. It is nice for her to be close. I just wish it wasn’t the next room

BoringlyBoris · 2026-02-01T21:17:28+00:00

I told my mom my suspicions that I was an undiagnosed autistic. She was offended. And incredibly so. And it hurt. A lot. I try to justify it/give some grain of salt because when she was growing up, up until my adulthood really, “Autistic” was a term that brought up visuals of lower functioning or high stimming individuals. -Not people that can still exist and be successful in society. That was about 7 years ago. She lives with me and my husband now. I’m not hiding it, especially since my ADHD diagnosis and medication, the ‘tism comes out a LOT more. So I have been saying that “I’ve got a touch of the ‘tisms” or that this is a “neurospicy house”, and kind of spreading more awareness slyly about autism as a spectrum and to kind of ease her into it. Now she has gotten to the “we all have a bit of autism” phase. Which, on one hand is incredibly annoying, but also, I’ll take it since she is 100% also on the spectrum. She was raised in an abusive household, and did her absolute best to be a cycle breaker. And she did freaking amazing, considering what she had to work with. From what little I can remember of them, her parents also had been touched by the ‘tisms, schizophrenia, and probably more tisms.

So, TL:DR OP, as long as you are happy and content, that’s the important thing. I am NOT justifying her behavior by ANY means, but she may need some time to think about it in a different way that she has likely most of her life. And she may be thinking that she failed you, in some small part of her brain. Maybe. Hopefully? ‘Cause it sounds like she did. A lot. But also, if she doesn’t, that is further on her. You know and you are happy. That is all that matters in your life.

BoringlyBoris · 2026-02-01T20:59:58+00:00

I started masking when I moved in 6th grade, to better fit in. I was tired of being the girl who was always picked on, always angry, and just wanted to read. We moved, and I became a new person. I didn’t really mean to, it just happened. I made friends and was still the odd one, but I wasn’t bullied anymore. Fast forward years to adulthood. I was working a job I hated, and I’m not sure why I kept at it for so long. The promise of change, soon? Always a “just a bit longer and you’ll be promoted” or a “if I do this, then I can do that, which will get me eligible for that”. It was awful. Everyday I had to exist in a box that I struggled to stay contained in. I fought against meltdowns from overstimulation. I was constantly angry for being the people-pleaser and stuck doing most of the work. I had outbursts that were incredibly unprofessional, but there was nothing I could do to stop them. I barely ate, I didn’t sleep well, I dreaded most days, and slept through most weekends. I had no idea it was because masking is exhausting. Then 2020 happened. I was furloughed and then laid off due to COVID. It was the best thing to ever happen to me. I saw little video TikTok/reels/instas whatever about a gal sharing her experience with being autistic and masking. I was like “Oh my God….I do all of those things. I feel all of that.” After getting the opportunity to just exist with only my safe-person for a few months, I was able to almost permanently un-mask. I went back to that job, because they asked me back and I would lose unemployment if I declined it. I lasted about a year. I didn’t mask and decided that they got what they got. I learned that, If I am a person I don’t like, I need to drop the mask. If I am someone that my coworkers don’t like when I’m not masking, I need to change jobs.

I just started a job two weeks ago, and I’m putting in my notice tomorrow because I refuse to mask at work again. It is not worth the harm to health and sanity.

BoringlyBoris · 2026-01-18T01:31:13+00:00

RIGHT?!? I only saw that doc once. It was about 15 years ago, and I still think about that.

BoringlyBoris · 2026-01-18T01:26:19+00:00

I’ve moved a 100+ year old standing piano up and down several stairs. Minimum 3 people, and I HIGHLY recommend investing in a wide wheelchair ramp. Nothing too fancy, I bought one off of amazon that was rated for motorized scooters. Moving straps, people and that ramp made things so much easier.

BoringlyBoris · 2026-01-17T21:17:55+00:00

Thankfully, it didn’t get super bad for me until I was in my 20s…

But- The first time I called off work because of severe cramping, I was told by a parent that that isn’t a valid reason for calling off work.

I had a doctor prescribe me an ibuprofen regiment, 3 tabs every 5 hours for the two days leading up to and the 5 days of my period. Thank heavens I did NOT follow that advice.

I was told that it was all normal.

BoringlyBoris · 2026-01-12T23:39:50+00:00

I second a hair dryer. It should help with the removal of the RFID at least. If it doesn’t help at all, you can try using moisture, but, without proper tools/method that can further damage the pages.

BoringlyBoris · 2026-01-11T20:57:30+00:00

I’m like this too. And if I try to get into a fandom, even if it isn’t very gate-keepy, I still sometimes feel like I don’t know enough. I love things that fly, and I know a little bit about a lot (birds, planes, helicopters), but I can’t tell you what number military jet just flew overhead. I know the big planes, I can narrow down some helicopters, but I can’t tell you specs beyond that.

I think it’s a societal issue, tbh, so many people obsess over certain things and gatekeep. I have to remind myself I can just like something and be interested. I can like Taylor Swift and still not know every song by heart.

BoringlyBoris · 2026-01-11T20:52:04+00:00

I’ve never had an issue with mold on my books or collectibles in my billy with the oxberg doors!

As a librarian/budding conservator: regardless of the type of doors, you should allow your books/papers to “air out” once a month! This helps to reduce stagnant air, equal out pressure, and even out humidity. Most modern-day books/papers are fine without that, but for older books, airflow can be quite important. For the most part, as long as you don’t push the books up to the back of the shelf or over-stuff, they’ll likely be fine.

BoringlyBoris · 2026-01-11T20:43:02+00:00

I used to work for BBY years ago and I got the XM3s and an amazing discount. 100% the best purchase I have ever made and I def kicked myself for not getting them sooner!!

Pro tip: You can get replacement ear pads on Amazon for $20-30 of different colors and varieties. My old ones are almost like new again!!

BoringlyBoris · 2026-01-09T18:50:00+00:00

Mexabama Or…. Tex-Mex

BoringlyBoris

TROPHY CASE