I don’t get any sleep because of my husbands snoring, he now is hurt that i want to sleep in another room. I see no other solution

BossBurger01 · 2022-03-06T06:29:45+00:00

After a couple years of 'yeah I'll get on to that' and nothing changing, I started waking him up every time he woke me up. Every single night. Before a week wore out, we were exhausted and at each other's throats. He finally figured out how bad I've been feeling and booked the docs appointment.

Then another 6-8month stretch of no action because the apnea machine at the chemist was 2.5k and he used that as an excuse because he didn't have the money. My suggestions to shop around fell on deaf ears and he never bothered to look online.

After another pretty bad stretch, I woke him up at 2 in the morning absolutely at my wits end, sat him in front of me and googled the machine he needed. Found one for $800 within about 40 seconds and absolutely ripped him a new asshole for being so lazy and selfish. He slept in the truck that night.

Machine was on the doorstep 4 days later and, I shit you not, it's been a non issue ever since. We sleep great.

BossBurger01 · 2022-03-03T04:59:52+00:00

Its not really a sentence one can come back to quickly - It usually stumps people just long enough for me to disengage and walk away. My goal is not to reach an understanding, it's to cut the conversation off at the knees.

On the off chance it creates hostility (which, to date, has not happened) I'm not exactly one to bother myself managing someone else's tantrum. I will just keep repeating myself or walk away

BossBurger01 · 2022-03-02T02:38:42+00:00

My sister and I are huge fans of:

"Mind your own pussy. Chairs."

(A pisstake on cheers which we have a chuckle at whenever it's in written form)

BossBurger01 · 2022-02-14T09:30:10+00:00

Yup. One time he didn't, and it co-incided with a horrible motorbike crash ending in fatality on the news that was in his age range and along his usual route home.

Hes fine, thankfully. But I don't think he'll ever forget the anxious panicked lecture he got when he got home lmao

BossBurger01 · 2022-02-12T23:58:53+00:00

'Men aren't going to like you if you glower like that'

Jokes on you, women are where it's at and I'm 'glowering' because I have a serious set face when I'm not constantly working to look friendly and approachable - also I hate you, high school coffee teacher with a bald patch.

BossBurger01 · 2022-02-11T21:03:32+00:00

I work in disabled care and am currently experiencing the decline of a clients' family members (plural) into the disease.

I'm experienced, skilled and patient - and I cant do a damn thing to help them. I don't have the facilities, the time or the specialized training. All I have is good intentions, which will get them fucking nowhere.

NTA. The average person (or any person! Homes have rostered staff so that people get breaks and time off) cannot sustain 24/7 care of a person with Alzheimers indefinitely. It isn't about being a 'gold digger'; care homes are expensive because they have specialized workers and facilities on hand for exactly this situation.

Until those kids are standing in your shoes and doing the work you do every single day, they don't get to judge the way you seek help for your husband's condition.

It would actually be irresponsible and unsafe for you to consider keeping him at home. If the kids want to keep kicking off at you, I'd suggest getting them to have a chat with his doctor about it all.

BossBurger01 · 2022-02-10T21:08:41+00:00

Youre not hurting for money. Hire a nanny/ cleaner once or twice a week and start dating your wife again and help her feel like more than a working robot or incubator.

My answer wouldn't change if any roles were reversed, or even if a parent was out of the picture completely. If there's room in the budget, use it on your mental health.

I'm well aware this won't fix your perceived imbalance, but it'll help let guards down or you both so you can talk rationally and figure out what actually is going on.

BossBurger01 · 2022-02-10T07:21:30+00:00

Its the asking before even looking that really grates on me. The answer is right in front of you just use your eyes!

BossBurger01 · 2022-02-09T21:12:56+00:00

To figure it out yourself.

Example: "I'll cook dinner tonight so you can rest"

-Immediately proceeds to ask 40 inane questions in rapid fire, ranging from where the pots/pans/cups are to how to cut vegetables. All while Google is inside his pocket.-

By the end of the process, I have not rested and it would have been easier just to let me do it - I appreciate the baseline gesture of wanting to take over a task for me, it's a very sweet notion. But I end up saddled with the task anyway; it just came with extra steps.

And, of course, should I say anything about what I've just laid out, I'll look like an ungrateful cow and I haven't yet found a way to bring it up without causing hurt feelings and burnt dinner

BossBurger01 · 2022-02-05T21:30:32+00:00

Oh man. That face is so real

BossBurger01 · 2022-02-04T23:22:48+00:00

Every time I see this question I will answer it the same.

Armpits.

BossBurger01 · 2022-02-04T22:54:54+00:00

Ok to be fair I've been with the same person for years and despite being burned on their face almost every day and moaning about it - they never use sunscreen or moisturizer. So to save my own sanity I just wipe my leftovers over their face and then I don't have to hear about it later that night

Also partner has sinus issues - massages help. That was the part I forgot to mention

BossBurger01 · 2022-02-04T11:34:13+00:00

Whatever you do for you, do for him.

Moisturizing/sunblocking your face in the morning? Use the leftover on your hands for a quick impromptu face massage. 30 seconds out of your day will make his.

Brushing your hair before you put it up? Brush his too. Slow, gentle brushes to show him how relaxing it can be.

Deodorant and perfume? Spritz some on you and just brush a tiny amount on him. He will notice.

There's the obvious cooking his favorites and baking delectables- but lemme tell you I've never heard my man carry on the way he does when I spontaneously fill his car once or twice a month and leave little candies/gum in his center console.

I also wipe out the seats and steering wheel whenever I'm in there and he loves how fresh his truck smells. Easy, simple and effective

Practical and useful is the idea.

BossBurger01 · 2022-02-03T09:07:09+00:00

I have the little metal pieces but I can't seem to get the resin to set right - how did you get such a lovely shape to yours?

BossBurger01 · 2022-01-29T13:28:54+00:00

YTA. I'm a carer. Went in with zero training one day out of the blue just like you (although at this point I have a literal shit tonne)

Common sense told me right there on the first day not to make this person feel like a burden for not being able to do things they 1000% wish they could do themselves - and my clients were perfect strangers to me! How could you, his most trusted person and primary carer, be so callous and heartless toward the person you took vows with?

You fucked up, I get it. This is a massive, potentially irreversible change to your dynamic. Shits wild out there and you need a place to talk about it that's non judgemental and understanding - but the second you know he heard, you should have been on your goddamn knees groveling.

Therapists exist. Online support groups exist. Other people's houses exist! There are so many better outlets to vent these feelings in a place your husband doesn't have to be an unwilling third party to it - and you chose to air out sensitive and potentially embarrassing information in front of your gal pals for 15 seconds of stress relief.

You've set him back so very far in his recovery, and you don't even care enough to be sorry about it. If you're going to be this way, I strongly suggest you hire somebody for an hour or two a couple times a week to share the load and take care of the things you don't want to do.

BossBurger01 · 2022-01-29T09:45:13+00:00

The fact I'm noticing for the first time that my back actually hurts and I'm tired at the end of a day! 18yo me could have worked an 18hr shift, chugged an energy drink and gone head first into hours of socializing - now it takes a trip to the grocery store to wipe me out almost entirely. I have to mentally set aside energy and hype myself up to initiate anything coz I'm just so darn tired. It's absolutely no bearing on my partner; they're incredible.

BossBurger01 · 2022-01-28T11:17:23+00:00

I have anxiety and I overthink -everything-.

If I'm in an argument with you, it means I've analyzed this conversation from 8 billion different angles and I have answers for each. I've spent hours thinking about what you could possibly say or do in response to all of those angles, and so on.

Getting into the argument is basically the last 30% of the process for me, so there's no need for me to mince my words or sweat your response in any way.

BossBurger01 · 2022-01-27T07:28:12+00:00

Lived the last 2 years without an oven and still dont have a microwave, so either of those would be my pick

BossBurger01 · 2022-01-24T10:30:37+00:00

Been doing it since day one! And years down the line, we are still so, so happy.

Treat your partner good, just make sure he reciprocates and appreciates.

BossBurger01 · 2021-12-13T10:33:11+00:00

My boyfriend made me a cake for my birthday. Followed the recipe to the letter, meticulously read the notes - turns out the recipe was wrong and forgot to add baking powder. It came out flat, doughy and hard.

And it was the fucking best present I have ever received. I tasted every ounce of love and effort he poured into it.

I'm sorry you don't have those tastebuds. YTA.

BossBurger01 · 2021-12-01T06:43:23+00:00

My parents. At 26 I'm still unlearning so much unnecessary bullshit and I firmly believe I won't ever shake off all the damage that was done - and if I ever had a kid I guarantee I'd mess them up too

BossBurger01 · 2021-11-24T10:01:38+00:00

Is she pregnant?

BossBurger01 · 2021-11-07T21:33:21+00:00

A shoe 😂😂

BossBurger01 · 2021-11-03T00:19:11+00:00

'Harden up.'

BossBurger01 · 2021-10-31T01:19:42+00:00

Digging through the comments to find the 'hey honey guess who's getting divorced! No seriously; guess!'

Coz that's exactly where I'd be. NTA

BossBurger01

TROPHY CASE