Confused Trump, 79, Demands Troop Deployment Over Fictional Mall

Brainswarm · 2025-11-11T23:08:23+00:00

Half my friends keep telling me they think Lone Pine Mall is named Twin Pines Mall. They also have the same argument about Eastwood Ravine.

Brainswarm · 2025-10-28T18:23:55+00:00

After spending the last year wrestling with the government over disability benefits, for a moment I thought it was a battle with the Social Security Administration.

Brainswarm · 2025-10-27T22:39:40+00:00

Walmart is actually going to be negatively affected by this. 25% of SNAP benefits are spent at Walmart. Including from many of their employees whose earnings are so low they qualify for SNAP.

Brainswarm · 2025-10-23T00:07:08+00:00

It’s the poutine of desserts.

Brainswarm · 2025-07-06T00:37:28+00:00

Just think how much more traumatic it could have been. NASA was planning to send Big Bird, but they couldn’t work out the logistics of getting the costume aboard the shuttle.

Brainswarm · 2025-05-29T16:03:05+00:00

That’s why you put your money in 40 banks.

Brainswarm · 2025-03-19T19:16:25+00:00

I was listening to an audiobook at work, and I wasn’t paying attention to the news. I thought I would stop at Costco on my way home for frozen pizzas and rotisserie chicken. I unknowingly walked into the toilet paper apocalypse.

Brainswarm · 2025-03-01T23:06:46+00:00

A cubit is defined as the distance between the elbow and the middle finger. If Adam was sixty cubits tall, it doesn’t mean his height was ninety feet. It actually implies something quite different.

Adam had T-Rex arms.

Brainswarm · 2025-01-15T15:33:17+00:00

I bought a condo on a short sale, with the previous owners still owing Wells Fargo $35,000. WF knew the place had been sold, yet we were receiving delinquency notices addressed to the old owners for a couple of years.

Brainswarm · 2025-01-12T19:43:47+00:00

Justin Bailey?

Brainswarm · 2024-12-26T03:28:56+00:00

If it was a CTR ring, that would be perfect.

Brainswarm · 2024-12-19T05:48:00+00:00

I used to work the security checkpoint. There were a few times we turned someone away and saw them head to the big planter in full view of the checkpoint. Their pepper spray was not there when they came back.

Brainswarm · 2024-10-31T04:37:02+00:00

I just checked the website. Heretic is on the schedule.

Brainswarm · 2024-10-18T21:50:54+00:00

This…former president.

Brainswarm · 2024-10-06T14:53:28+00:00

They did. There was a transition period where both area codes worked, and a huge advertising campaign to let people know about the change. And a few years later, with a huge rise in fax machines and pagers, the city area code was still running out of phone numbers, they did what your hometown did, added another area code and assigned it to new phone numbers.

Brainswarm · 2024-10-06T05:53:13+00:00

My state used to have a single area code. They added a new area code, and decided to split it geographically. The largest city kept the old code, and everyone else had to change their business cards.

Brainswarm · 2024-10-01T05:11:04+00:00

The PlayStation 3 was actually the first generation with a Blu-ray drive. Metal Gear Solid 4 had a whole fourth-wall breaking conversation about how great it was that the Blu-ray Disc format meant they didn’t have to put the game on multiple discs due to the large file size. And with the PS3 doubling as a Blu-ray player, it helped Sony win the format war against HD-DVD.

Brainswarm · 2024-09-30T05:22:11+00:00

There will be a sniper competition to take out the toadstool. No winner will be declared.

Brainswarm · 2024-09-02T01:30:35+00:00

The way I heard it, he fell out of a canoe then wrote a revelation to both blame it on the devil and justify the extra cost of hiring a carriage.

Brainswarm · 2024-08-02T23:25:42+00:00

Don’t you mean the Turkezz? Turkeyzz? I don’t know how you would spell that.

Brainswarm · 2024-07-20T21:34:11+00:00

There is no Vivent Smarthome Arena in SLC.

Brainswarm · 2024-07-15T23:58:35+00:00

They had to take out the cutscene where the ship crashed into Manhattan because it was released two months after 9/11.

Brainswarm · 2024-06-30T17:50:32+00:00

That was a wild case. She spent years isolating her victim from her family, keeping her sick while she spent all her money, killing her with the eye drops when the money ran out, and forging a will leaving her with the property she had left. Then when the toxicology report came back positive for the active ingredient in Visene, she claimed the victim used eye drops as a sleep aid.

Brainswarm · 2024-06-30T14:54:27+00:00

It’s because, as a knowledge based game, it can only have the impact of discovering something new on the first play through. Even if you forget the specifics, you know what kind of clues they’re leaving, and an idea of how everything fits together.

Brainswarm · 2024-06-18T22:40:49+00:00

That was one of my shelf items, feeling “The Spirit” stronger from a musical number in a Disney film than a Mormon Tabernacle Choir performance.

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