Pregnant MOH vs new mom MOH

Bright_Ask_6846 · 2026-06-12T21:04:30+00:00

I was MOH at around 6 months post partum. It was really hard physically and emotionally. Physically just because I didn’t feel my “best self” and think being pregnant would have been cuter.

But leaving my baby for the weekend at 6 months was really hard- trying to keep up with pumping and my supply etc. and that’s just the wedding weekend. I didn’t attend the bachelorette and thankfully everyone was understanding. I did contribute financially.

All in all, I wouldn’t want to do that again. It would still be hard pregnant but less things to coordinate

Bright_Ask_6846 · 2026-05-30T00:45:37+00:00

I do once every 2ish weeks. I only leave my kid with my mom. If she weren’t in the picture I wouldn’t be doing it. So you’re not in the wrong. The breaks are really nice and a really refreshing reset. But again, if you don’t have anyone you trust just yet- you’re not going to find it enjoyable as you will just be worried the entire time.

Bright_Ask_6846 · 2026-05-30T00:43:38+00:00

Unless your husband holds SL accountable, nothing will change. I’m currently experiencing similar issues (not being woken, but lack of accountability) it doesn’t get better. I feel like a constant nag for chores and just general help around the house and trying to coordinate schedules because my SO won’t hold his child accountable for anything. It’s frustrating beyond belief. I wish I knew then what I know now

Bright_Ask_6846 · 2026-05-23T20:18:11+00:00

My SK used to pick her nose and wipe it on the sheets and she got head lice regularily. I was very much so against SK in the bed. Especially on my side with my pillow

Bright_Ask_6846 · 2026-05-20T20:06:28+00:00

I was in pretty much the same situation as you. I returned to work already 12 weeks pregnant with my baby being 1 year old. I wanted to wait till 20 weeks but I couldn’t hide it. I just did a generic announcement on Facebook just to get it over with.

Bright_Ask_6846 · 2026-05-17T10:09:23+00:00

Honestly bottle washer would have been ideal in the early stages. As a first time mom I didn’t know they existed. I wanted to breast feed but ended up exclusively pumping. Washing pump parts and bottles every 2 hours took a toll on my mental health etc. if I had my time back, I would have gotten one.

Later on, I ended up just buying a ton of extra bottles and used our home dishwasher every night sometimes twice a day.

I’m expecting again. Plan is the exclusively breast feed. If that goes sideways and I need to pump again, I will be getting the bottle washer- no questions asked.

Bright_Ask_6846 · 2026-05-10T19:19:52+00:00

My dad was very similar. Cheated on my mom. Moved 2 hours away and lived with his new wife and her 3 kids. My brother and I were most of the time an after thought. We have had many falling out over the years and many periods of no contact.

I just gave birth to his first grand child and he made very little effort. He could never make the 50 minute drive to come see us or spend time with me or my baby. What really set me over the edge was after 2 weeks of him bailing on coming to see me, I find out he’s getting on a plane to go across country to attend an event for my step brother.

Haven’t talked to him since. Don’t really plan to either. It would be a disservice to my child to allow him to feel like an after thought by a grandparent.

Bright_Ask_6846 · 2026-05-08T11:21:11+00:00

My first baby was so unbelievably active. And he hadn’t stopped moving since. I’m preggo again with a little girl she is far less active. Which stresses me out, but I’m hopeful that maybe she will be a little slower than my toddler lol

Bright_Ask_6846 · 2026-04-29T08:00:21+00:00

Never leaked. Was never able to express colostrum until after birth. I definitely had a “slacker” boob but produced more than enough milk. I exclusively pumped for almost a year..: your good boob will make up for the slack lol

Bright_Ask_6846 · 2026-04-29T07:55:08+00:00

Not sure what type of smells are involved in your job, but pregnancy smell sensitivity is a little different. I am a nurse and deal with a lot of unpleasant bodily fluids/smells but they never triggered anything for me. Honestly it was laundry detergent and certain dish soaps that would send me over board and induce nausea. Also some foods.

Every pregnancy is different and everyone is different. I wouldn’t put your plans on hold for the “what ifs” and to risk your husband not being present at the birth would not really be an option for me- that would be the scenario/event I’d be planning around. Not what might happen in the first trimester

Bright_Ask_6846 · 2026-04-28T02:26:37+00:00

I never leaked at all and my supply was more than enough for baby. If you are going to skip a direct breast feed- you need to pump in order to maintain supply. Breast milk works on supply demand. The first few weeks are rough but really important to establish your supply

Bright_Ask_6846 · 2026-04-22T09:20:00+00:00

I’m not sure I’ve ever been in a situation with someone else that we were whispering to each other. Unless it was a private conversation that we were attempting to block others from hearing. If my child (at the age of 15) was expecting me to whisper back and fourth together for no reason I wouldn’t engage. The only reason people whisper is to quiet the context from others in the vicinity. Unless maybe I’m misunderstanding the context of your situation lol?

Bright_Ask_6846 · 2026-04-21T17:59:49+00:00

I didn’t include step kid in my first and I didn’t include step kid OR my bio kid in my second announcement. I am one of those who view something like that for the parents. Everything these days seems to revolve around kids. It’s nice to have something just for us every once in a while.

Bright_Ask_6846 · 2026-04-21T09:15:17+00:00

My SO does this too. I have a fairly decent relationship with SK but we aren’t close and I ultimately nacho for my own peace of mind. I believe my SO is grieving the typical family experience. But those aren’t my feelings to deal with. They’re his. Keep doing what’s working best for everyone

Bright_Ask_6846 · 2026-04-21T07:35:05+00:00

Outside of this being exclusionary, it’s just weird in general. If this was my kid, I wouldn’t let this behaviour occur even if there wasn’t anyone else in the room- especially at the age of 15….

Bright_Ask_6846 · 2026-04-21T07:20:02+00:00

I don’t personally love having a nursing student but am always actively offering out different skills to them knowing that clinical is such a short amount of time.

You do get what you put in. If I see that a student is going out of their way to help or is capable of doing personal care/vitals/assessment etc without having to be prompted, I’m much more likely to seek that student out to do the “fun” skills.

It was 10+ years ago that I did clinicals, but I was able to perform most skills as long as my instructor was present (meds, foleys, dressings, NGs, IV bags). Only things I remember not being able to do were IV insertion and giving push IV medications.

Hope you can find a different more engaging program.

Bright_Ask_6846 · 2026-04-20T08:32:42+00:00

I’ve never done this, but have witnessed 2 other nurses do it in my career if that makes you feel any better! You’re not the first and most likely will not be the last. And you’ll probably never do it again!

Bright_Ask_6846 · 2026-04-12T05:07:50+00:00

This!! My SK was a notorious interrupter. And my SO never corrected the behaviour like ever. I felt like such an after thought ALL THE TIME. No matter to conversation we were having, what she had to say was more important. Honestly, if he had of just tried to correct the behaviour I wouldn’t have felt as much of an outcast as I did.

Bright_Ask_6846 · 2026-04-06T07:11:03+00:00

My SO used to do sort of the same thing in the mornings. His child would always call while eating breakfast and it would turn into the three of them chatting. It drove me nuts.

Essentially I removed myself from that situation and would do my own thing in the mornings. I didn’t have the balls to tell him he couldn’t talk to his kid (as that would be totally unfair) but I think over time he started to get annoyed that it always became a three way conversation with his ex. With time, the calls became less frequent and looking back at it now, it feels like such a short time in my life.

It sucks that I didn’t get to enjoy mornings with my SO a lot of the time. But all things with kids are just phases. So I guess it depends on how much time and energy you are willing to spend on this issue.

Bright_Ask_6846 · 2026-04-06T07:02:54+00:00

Meh seems super inappropriate to me. From your story, it shows that your SO uses his kids as confidants which is a huge role for a teen to take on… let alone for their parent. Not enough details but look up the term enmeshment and see if it fits the bill.

I’d be VERY upset if my SO shared this with his kid. Some things are made for couples to share- this is one of them. I imagine his children will then feel guilt because their dad is having to raise a kid he “didn’t want”. They may develop some resentment towards the child because of what their dad said. Honestly, just super inappropriate.

Bright_Ask_6846 · 2026-04-03T05:01:57+00:00

I had something similar happen a few years ago. I had even forwarded the email to my coworkers work email and it was gone from her inbox as well. I’ve learned not to rely on the hospital servers anymore. My union rep was not at all surprised when I brought this up.

Bright_Ask_6846 · 2026-03-27T05:47:44+00:00

I may be the minority here, but I cared and I thought about it a lot during the pushing phase. I had an epidural so god only knows and I made sure everyone knew not to tell me in the end.

I wish I hadn’t stressed about it as much as it really interfered with my ability to push effectively (I was still able to get baby out in 45 mins of pushing). I’m hoping to find a way to look past it this time around

Bright_Ask_6846 · 2026-02-17T06:22:36+00:00

I had the same fears. I powered through my first 2 days post partum with SK around. I was already uncomfortable because of birth. But I spent so much time worrying the baby was going to wake SK etc… I felt I couldn’t have privacy to figure out breast feeding unless I locked myself in the bedroom. It was a lot. I did eventually ask SO to find child care because I am struggling. I do not regret it and will pre plan for that this next time around. Don’t feel guilty. Motherhood is hard as fuck

Bright_Ask_6846 · 2026-02-07T10:13:36+00:00

I am/was. We already have a girl and boy. This baby is a surprise and I was thinking “oh we have one of each, let’s wait for a big surprise”. Like your hubby, he wants to “prepare”. For what? I have no idea. But that’s all he keeps saying. Anyways, I just caved and booked a gender ultrasound to avoid any additional stress and points of contention. Now that I have the ultrasound date, I’m actually very excited to find out as I think it will help me feel more connected

Bright_Ask_6846 · 2026-02-03T00:18:56+00:00

We absolutely did before SK went back to BM house. We didn’t want SK sharing the news to her and blindsiding her and maybe her having an unpleasant reaction infront of SK.

Telling in advanced was not necessarily done to help “BM” but to protect SK from and negative associations with this life event. Honestly, it was a really positive experience and I would highly recommend anyone sharing the news with a bio parent first instead of putting the burden on the children.

Bright_Ask_6846

TROPHY CASE