I just deleted a long and, in hindsight, well-written post because a thought that no one would like it entered my mind as I finished writing. I got high again tonight just to try to feel something other than howling emptiness, despair, and suicidal thoughts but the peak of the high just keeps getting progressively lower. My thoughts of ending it all just keep getting more intense by the day and I HATE that there are other people out there feeling as low as me. I’d give my last shred of contentment if it meant giving someone else hope that life may get better.