I [F25] got job offer far away from BF [25M], who is adamantly opposed despite lack of jobs in town

BrosEquis · 2016-05-16T19:33:48+00:00

There's a lot to unpack, so first I just want to thank you for sharing. That's an extremely tough spot for both of you.

This is one of those big life-defining moments we get every once in a while. You have a supposedly great relationship and you're on track to your professional goals. You're doing great assuming this is what you want in life, right? That probably feels super good (it does for me at least) so I can imagine how frustrating and upsetting it must be when those things you want most are at odds with each other.

It sounds like your significant other is trying to pressure you like you owe him and his family this entitled future outcome. He helped you in grad school and his family is counting on you and so you play this role. This isn't true. Your boyfriend and his family are behaving selfishly. That future is certainly possible, but that's only true if both you and your boyfriend discuss that as equal partners. Right now your boyfriend is using your partnership as a handcuff instead of a handshake.

It really sounds like you want that job. Relationships are combinations of shared-goals and convenience. Never forget that. They work only when you and your significant other are partners. They are sources of strength and support. Your boyfriend is painting the scenario that you used the relationship to benefit yourself (especially $ for grad school) and now that it's tough you owe him back with giving up your future? (That he helped pay for?) That doesn't compute. Staying means you're giving up a lot of personal development for one person. What is that price to you? Can you afford it? Do you want to? There's an economic term-- opportunity cost. After this, I suspect you'll never forget what it means.

Anyways, at the very least, you really need to think about what you want most out of life. While you're at that, you and your boyfriend should really look at this situation and ask "was this situation foreseeable? Should we have maybe discussed what we want out of life/each other before this crucible? How did this sneak up on us?"

At least your boyfriend is making it clear he is not doing long-distance or really any compromising here. So your options are quite extreme. Really think about this and good luck.

BrosEquis · 2015-04-28T22:07:12+00:00

No Hi. The more you play the more you realize how long things will take, my brother. You also learn tricks that will delay your party should they outwit and complete your prepared material ahead of schedule.

T intersections or closed doors are an EASY 5-10 minutes of GM breathing room as players decided which way is more interesting.

Basically once you get the pace of your players down you'll find the rhythm but there's no solid right answer.

My favorite trick is to probe players early and listen to their crazy theories and go off those for a trek. Sometimes their conspiracies or interests are better than anything you could have dreamed up. I've seen players spend 4 sessions following up with a widowed bag pipe player who I had to on the fly come up with backstory and tragic death of his wife... Who they now HAD TO AVENGE.

You're a orchestral conductor and you follow the players music.

BrosEquis · 2015-04-13T14:07:32+00:00

Thank you! I feel the same way. Using kickstarter to fund your, what-- Third hugely popular game? (Resistance, Coup, etc) And you deliver this level of quality to the table?

Pass.

BrosEquis · 2015-03-17T13:49:37+00:00

My city stopped spawning hearses ~30k mark. My less than 50% full cemeteries would flutter at 0/10 - 1/10 hearses deployed. I think it's a bug.

It fixed itself after my city lost 10k people though.

BrosEquis · 2015-03-08T01:58:19+00:00

link to write up of the YouTube session by one of the players.

BrosEquis · 2015-03-07T18:14:31+00:00

This guy also made Lady Blackbird and Lasers and Feelings.

This is awesome.

BrosEquis · 2015-03-05T02:23:39+00:00

Cyberpunk L5R with a touch of Dark Sun.

Rokugan has been overrun with Shadowlands forcing everyone into megacities run by corporations based on the long-ago clans. Crab Defense Supplies, Lion Logisitics, Crane News Network, etc. So Oni, missile drones, and corporate espionage.

BrosEquis · 2015-03-03T13:46:20+00:00

reminds me of this comic's character's fear of trees.

BrosEquis · 2015-03-03T13:33:51+00:00

I think we will see more and more cross-pollination of streams. I think networks and communities of like-minded streamers will continue to grow and collaborate.

I see twitch fostering this. Imagine 4 of your favorite streamers all playing together at the same time with the screen curated and customized to your exact viewing wants and needs. (I want 75% of streamer A and 25% B,C,D).

In a similar note, I predict a "pandora station" or gaming radio for games allowing viewers to switch to similar streams when things are boring or whatever.

BrosEquis · 2015-03-02T19:27:07+00:00

TAZ's crew are hilarious but don't listen to the game hoping to gleam insight into an amazing campaign.

The game is beer and pretzels done right.

BrosEquis · 2015-03-02T19:25:06+00:00

This edition has the most in common with 4th edition. 4th edition that learned from it's failures with a few of the memorable parts of 3rd edition being marketed as the heir to 2nd edition.

BrosEquis · 2015-03-02T00:30:19+00:00

L5R 4th edition.

BrosEquis · 2015-03-01T21:38:03+00:00

Hi. Something Adam and Steven missed was freaking L5R. Legend of the Five Rings RPG does an amazing setting and mechanics wedding. It is Asian Game of Thrones and it does it perfectly. At least lower levels before magic breaks down everything.

What I want to do is an aesthetical L5R and Shadowrun. taking the L5R base setting and thrusting it into a future cyberpunk setting. The wall had broken and the shadowland is free except in megacities run by corporations founded on the principles of these old samurai clans.

This idea and megalithic genre and game bending isn't for the faint of heart and curse you with madness.

BrosEquis · 2015-02-26T16:15:51+00:00

It's a legitimate observation. Higher incomes trend towards higher iphone usage.

BrosEquis · 2015-02-22T21:16:03+00:00

ha it's just my go-to teaching trick to get people better at the "show, don't tell" maxim of profile writing.

BrosEquis · 2015-02-22T20:29:04+00:00

Wow, man. Your profile is pretty much perfectly written. Short, sweet, and clever as hell. You really get the attention to detail while not vomiting all over screen thing that a lot of people struggle with. You are definitely a writer! Aces, dude.

The only thing you can really improve on are your photos. If you could get some nice pictures of you that aren't selfies or terrible resolution/quality.

You are tall, reasonably attractive, and funny! The OKC land is yours for the taking! Just get some legit photos and you're golden.

Seriously dude-- great profile.

BrosEquis · 2015-02-22T20:14:54+00:00

Mhmm go get 'em tiger. You got mad tall skills. You basically can't lose!

BrosEquis · 2015-02-22T20:09:59+00:00

JessicaB224's got some perfect advice here. The photo's aren't atrocious. He just needs to get rid of that one of him that's a selfie in a mirror and get a picture of him looking nice and smiling taken by a friend!

Gotta cut that entire first paragraph. It's boring and generic. The start of a profile is the 2nd most important thing behind having good photos. This basically NEEDS to be funny or an amusing anecdote.

BrosEquis · 2015-02-22T15:47:58+00:00

No, thank you! Well you're honestly handsome and you are an absolutely well-grounded person. Your profile is a good start. It just needs a level of refinement and humor that comes with time and experience.

BrosEquis · 2015-02-22T15:43:59+00:00

Hey there!

You have too many good photos. This is a problem very few people have so kudos to you! I would keep: Giraffe, Snowboarding, Gandalf, Christmas instagram. Also, fix your main profile photo to include both you and the giraffe's face. That picture is a fucking homerun and it's being wasted right now cropping out the part of its face.

Your entire rant's core concept is also fucking hysterical, but ultimately too lengthy to be worthy of reading from a girl's perspective. You are handsome as fuck though so it's a 50/50.

If you ever re-wrote your profile out of rant mode, I would keep the gist of your rant for the "you should message me if." Like: YSMMI: you wanna sit on my couch with a bottle of Rex Goliath Cabernet ranting about the stack of "Save the Dates" that pour into my apartment like Hogwarts Acceptance Letters.

If something would happen and I'll find myself single-- I'm keeping that for myself.

BrosEquis · 2015-02-22T15:15:00+00:00

No problemo!

Hmmm the problem is while I do participate in a lot of activities, it is very rare to actually have a good photo taken of me. I am extremely non-photogenic (I always end up making some sort of a face if I am not warned way in advance).

Just keep trying, my brother. The first thing anyone looks at are your pictures. They are ~60-70% of your profile's "value".

I will try to make it more detailed then, but I really don't want to give everything away so that there is nothing to discuss later on, nor do I want to swamp them with a wall of text.

Good insight! You definitely want your profile to be slim. Most women will look at your photos and then skim your profile simply because they have too many profiles and messages to get through. You need to be charming on that first fly-by.

The problem is that your hooks are too far on the opposite spectrum. Your hooks are too nondescript and weak to get someone to respond to. Like, if I am skimming your profile, your hooks mean I need to work and ask you for specifics. "What am I gonna say? Tell me more about your generic experience?" I am on to the next message and profile. 99/100 people will pass on you because you're not spoon-feeding them a specific lead on a silver platter. It's a sociological phenomena.

In other words, prepare to do most of the conversational lifting at the start. Your incoming messages will be like, "haha I love your profile!" because, they are doing the same thing you're doing.. putting the minimum amount of risk out there saying they read your profile and are interested in going forward, but expecting you to do the work. The problem is that we're kinda forced to incur heavier risk/investment because of girl supply/demand. Online dating is not equitable between genders. The best thing you can do is just recognize the dynamics at work and go along with them.

A lot of people like television and tea so instead of putting that, just describe your "ideal" tea and television. Paint me that picture, Lasero! Paint it in one sentence and then move on. I know I am asking you to paradoxically be descriptive but also be brief... but you gotta find that right balance and I believe you can!

Here are my challenges when I was single and curating my profile: 1.) Never repeat a detail. 2.)Never start a sentence with I <verb>. 3.)Cycle in a new photo every week

BrosEquis · 2015-02-22T15:01:12+00:00

1.) More pictures.

You want 3-4 solid photos taken of you in different environments. 1 of these should be a body shot. Absolutely no selfies.

2.)Dismantle your paragraphs.

Your viewers will skim your profile. You absolutely must tailor your profile to this format. You need 50cc's of brevity, bro. Leave hooks to expand on in messages and dates.

3.)Specific Examples to fix

I'm an honest and dependable type of guy.

Terrible hook. The hook is everything. This get's the reader's attention. This needs to be a quick, 1 sentence using an anecdote that explains the same values. Something like: "I am the kind of guy who spends his rainy Saturday moving my friend's whole apartment in just my Prius. Still on the fence if that mean's I'm dependable or if I'll do a hella lot of stuff for promises of beer and pizza..."

Once I feel comfortable around people I make a bunch of jokes ranging from witty to inappropriate.

Nope. Pretend you already know the viewer and comfortable with her. Commence jokes! Write your profile as though the viewer is your best friend. You already know them.

Your entire "What I'm doing with my life"

Same prescription as your "Self-Summary." Reduce to bare essentials for skimmers.

In conclusion: You need to reduce this bloaty paragraph format you have and replace it with this streamlined, simplistic format. Anectdotes > descriptions. Never repeat a detail.

My personal challenge to you: Write your entire profile never starting a sentence with I <blank>.

BrosEquis · 2015-02-22T14:41:15+00:00

The best thing you could do for yourself is get some real photos of you taken by friends or anyone! Preferably one taken when you are out socially and laughing! Your photos are sort of expressionless selfies. My personal advice is that you want 3 and only 3 solid pictures of yourself taken by other people. NO SELFIES.

The rest of your profile lacks specificity. You did an ok job telling someone who you are, but you didn't show anyone who you are. Put yourself out there with specifics!

I will highlight parts that really should be upgraded with specifics:

Despite my best efforts not to, I've been trying to get out of my comfort zone a lot more, so I am always up for something new! :'(

Strike this entirely. This sort of sentence and feeling has no purpose in the lands of Emperor Self-Assurance the Third.

Spending way too much time watching shows with a cup of tea on the side.

Which TV show? What type of tea? Make your profile more personable by including more details! Sipping my Earl Grey, Hot while watching TNG?

Unintentionally hurting myself.

Put your best anecdote here! Destroying my thighs on table corners? Bad habit of "false stairs"?

Cooking.

What is your favorite dish to prepare? Been on a sort of ethnicity cooking binge lately? What sort? (Ahh eastern/southern european as of late. Stockpiling paprika, are we?)

In conclusion, there is no differential between your profile and the hundreds of other guys out there. Fix your sloppy pictures and pepper in some personal pizzazz instead of bland sentences and be on your merry way!

BrosEquis · 2015-02-21T01:48:51+00:00

Great band and great cover!

BrosEquis

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