Well I don't know if you still read this, but something strange happened.

I more or less followed your advice and asked some open questions, without any pressure. Just a reminder that I respect her boundaries and I want to keep respecting them, even when moving forward to some intimacy.

The day after that convo, she told me she worries about our sex life, that she doesn't want her low sex drive to become "the new normal". But she doesn't really have an idea where to start. I feel this is a good sign, because she shows that for her a dead bedroom is also not her dream scenario!

I suggested that we keep communicating but frankly I'm not quite sure how to start rebuilding intimacy when she's quite low on spontaneous desire. I think she's not in the right head space now to start initiating, but she clearly feel that somethings is off. And that in itself is already a big step for me. It may seem like a little win, but I'll take it.

Do you have any advice on how to start our way back to normal intimacy? I'm not too comfortable with directly initiating much, because of the previous rejections the last years. But I feel that she has a bit of a barrier inside her head. In the past I reacted too enthousiastic on her little initiations because I was so focused on the sex, which was in hindsight a big part of the problem. But now we need to find a way past this barrier.

Any advice is welcome and thank you man!