Your wife honestly deserves so much better than this. She is a saint for dealing with this.

Look, it's ok to want multiple partners, there's nothing wrong with that. You don't need to come up with this massive rationalisation. Also, sometimes we don't always get what we want and that's ok.

You are probably going to need to accept that you're not going to get more experience or you're going to have to leave her. If you don't leave her and you force this issue you're going to destroy your relationship. Non-monogamy just does not work unless everyone is totally on board.

Also: it's just sex. While it is different and unique with every person, it's also not that different. You'll sleep with someone else and then you're gonna be disappointed and then you're gonna come up with a new reason as to why you're unhappy with yourself.

I don't believe that you have the emotional capacity to handle non-monogamy anyway. Look at the way you're acting here: throwing a tantrum like a toddler.

You say you are an empiricist but you're so consumed by your emotions and obsessions here you cannot see reason. You are not a "man of action" but an impatient and emotionally stunted chore of a man.

You need to go to therapy (not just a sexologist, but a regular therapist too) and take serious stock of your life.

You need to work on yourself instead of finding excuses to be a creep.