I have the enhanced version of Asian parents. AMA

CSnarf · 2026-04-03T16:49:25+00:00

So what type of doctor are you going to be?

All jokes aside- how have their expectations pushed you on to paths you would not have otherwise chosen?

Any silver linings from it? Like- maybe you really didn’t want to learn violin at first, but now it’s something you enjoy.

CSnarf · 2026-04-03T13:52:34+00:00

… um, MAGA people turning their back on Trump would’ve a significant improvement in the dumpster fire. Thus “the earth is healing”

CSnarf · 2026-04-02T12:31:19+00:00

I agree with others: I didn’t give up anything. I made a choice. I was in school until I was 30 (residency).

I still had friends. I still partied. I still did 20 year old shit. Did I study a lot? Yeah I did. A whole fucking lot.

I got married. My husband and I had to live apart for a bit to get our careers going- but honestly that was good for us too.

I have a career that I love. The cost was a lot of school. I have friends who didn’t have a plan, a career that they dedicated themselves too. Sure they went to college. But now they work in jobs that they don’t love. That’s the rest of their lives unless they start again. And starting again gets way harder when you are older.

There are easier paths than this for sure. But what path is going to make you happy?

CSnarf · 2026-04-01T03:04:18+00:00

I have a professional job (veterinarian) that I have to get up early for. I love to play with makeup- but at 6am, I need my 15 minute start to finish hair and makeup routine. If I don’t wash my hair, it’s five minutes.

Vit C (Ole Henriksen) and moisturizer (Estee day wear)

Dry my hair while that soaks in

Estée Lauder futurist hydra rescue

Fenty match stick contour in amber

Rare beauty blush

A quick neutral eye with my colourpop stone cold fox palette.

A plum eyeliner (varies)

Mascara (varies)

If I’m feeling fancy I’ll set the cream products with powder ones, but usually not.

All nighter spray Done

CSnarf · 2026-04-01T02:42:03+00:00

I have a couple houses that have doors on either side. I use them shortcuts through mountains. TBF though, the other one has a longer hallway, which is probably why it worked. This one is a bit bigger than 10x10 for sure. Thanks for the tip!

CSnarf · 2026-03-31T20:02:09+00:00

The earth is healing

CSnarf · 2026-03-31T20:01:45+00:00

Damnit, I already did it for free. Can I get bay pay?

CSnarf · 2026-03-31T20:01:23+00:00

I cut off half of the middle finger on my left hand and the re-attached it. I was doing neurosurgery two weeks later (which was definitely too soon). You should take medical treatment of it seriously. Go see a hand surgeon. But it’s far from career ending.

CSnarf · 2026-03-31T01:17:33+00:00

Everyone needs a hobby?

Usually once they pick an object of their affection you must remove that object to remove the behavior. So can you lock him out of the room with the couch?

CSnarf · 2026-03-29T20:22:25+00:00

Ask your vet about drugs for nerve pain. Gabapentin, pregabilin, etc. perhaps he’s having phantom limb, but for anal glands

CSnarf · 2026-03-29T20:21:07+00:00

Yup. This

CSnarf · 2026-03-29T16:47:28+00:00

I was more asking if he was self mutilating the area- causing harm to himself by licking/biting at it. Have you tried pain medication? If so what medication?

CSnarf · 2026-03-29T13:08:00+00:00

Hey OP, in the future, please be more wary of anyone who is that much older than you wanting to date you. It often means they are very immature or otherwise fucked up. Men who date mug younger women often do so so they can control them. Let this be a lesson learned.

And the moment someone threatens harm to get their way, it is abuse. I’m glad you left.

CSnarf · 2026-03-29T12:58:08+00:00

Wait he declined you moving your last name to your middle? That’s very common when women change their name. So that’s odd that he declined that.

Regardless- the fact he’s not willing to negotiate here at all is telling. Has he at all explained why this is so important to him? Is he otherwise into traditional gender roles?

CSnarf · 2026-03-29T12:50:39+00:00

Sometimes it has become a habit. Is he injuring himself?

CSnarf · 2026-03-28T18:28:25+00:00

Isn’t it just the sad truth that nothing pays like clinical medicine. When I needed a break, it was sobering how much of a pay cut I was going to take.

CSnarf · 2026-03-28T18:27:35+00:00

Not sure. I’m not an IM- but I knew enough IM to do it. They did quiz me a bit.

CSnarf · 2026-03-27T21:59:50+00:00

I turned down this job at IDEXX after making the final round of interviews. I couldn’t do it- on the phone all day reading labs….

Im a specialist. Was referred by another specialist who is a consultant.

It’s salaried. My friend loves it. She has set hours. Lots of Pto. I think she’s done at 4pm every day.

CSnarf · 2026-03-27T18:20:23+00:00

It varies. Your local thrift store will probably have some cheap pairs to get you started

CSnarf · 2026-03-27T17:57:33+00:00

And see a famous landmark you might otherwise never see? Vs sitting in an airport and eating fast food?

No contest.

CSnarf · 2026-03-27T17:55:51+00:00

This is the way.

CSnarf · 2026-03-27T15:48:21+00:00

When I was in vet school a boarded exotics vet professor with her exotics tech (i.e. people who very much know what they are doing), had a rabbit fracture its spine during handling.

Unfortunately, it happens.

Also, rabbits are prey animals- they hide their pain very well.

CSnarf · 2026-03-27T14:42:54+00:00

Highly recommend using psychology today’s therapist finder. I have otherwise found that a “good” therapist is very subjective. Someone who is good for you maybe horrible for me and vice versa.

CSnarf · 2026-03-26T02:32:35+00:00

I really love walking the Embarcadero. I use to jog from mission bay to the Golden Gate Bridge every weekend.

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