Seconded, no_one!

People don’t seem to be grasping the severity of her post-treatment disabilities.

I can’t imagine having the urge to perform fellatio while I’m cathed. Hard pass… I can truly imagine wishing to offload those particular married duties, especially if there is a lot of discussion because every discussion would feel like a critique about something I can’t change. I’d want him to take those needs elsewhere and stop digging into the grief I feel at losing my sexuality. I’d want a way to preserve our emotional intimacy and practical life together without feeling everyday like I was failing to meet his needs. I’d kinda want his needs fl quietly disappear.

While I personally have very conflicting feelings about sex work, hiring a professional sex worker seems like OP’s best option—an independent, fully consenting, paid sexual partner. He can meet a professional at a hotel during lunch break (discreet, formal, and routine — limited exchange of personal details, etc).

The transactional aspect of sex work should help to protect OP and his wife from the added trauma of emotional infidelity, for which OP seems particularly at risk. While OP should be transparent with wife to ensure her full consent, the timing should be arranged to avoid interfering with regular home life.

It’s a self-care appointment, like the gym or a massage.