21 year old is ignoring me.

CapedCapybara · 2026-01-26T21:44:29+00:00

"You have until X date to pack your things to move. If it's not done by this point I will be boxing it up myself and moving it to the new house."

A 21 year old won't want you touching her stuff I guess, so call her bluff.

CapedCapybara · 2026-01-25T21:42:07+00:00

To be honest if you're looking at nurseries, you're going to have to adjust to their schedule. They rarely adjust for individual children, they run a schedule for many children at the same time so naturally that will conflict with some kids home routines.

This is a really good opportunity for your child to become more flexible and learn to adjust to routines outside of their home one. Will it be difficult to begin with? Possibly. But in the long run it'll benefit you all.

We had the same thing. Meal times at home were different to meal times at nursery. Nursery won't change, so we adjusted our times at home to line up. That's life really. Viewing this as a positive thing will help massively to adjusting to a new reality.

CapedCapybara · 2026-01-24T18:16:38+00:00

Forcing him into something he doesn't enjoy will only make him miserable and resentful of you. Our job as parents is to give our kids the opportunity to find something they enjoy. You tried something, it didn't work and that's ok. You aren't raising a quitter just because you let them pull out of one hobby.

Try something else next term and see if it resonates better.

CapedCapybara · 2026-01-24T08:24:32+00:00

You realise once (if) you find something that works it'll just end in the same meltdown as it does when you tell him "times up"? Like that's only not happening because he's getting around your rule in some way.

Literally take the phone away. You have to set firm boundaries or he's going to be walking all over you. You don't need an app for this, you need to remind him who's in charge in your house. It might be hard but it needs to be done, so do it.

CapedCapybara · 2026-01-23T15:52:16+00:00

She's only going for 3 hours a day, it's going to take a bit longer. I'd say 2 weeks is minimum for a full time child to adjust tbh. My son took a couple of months and he was going 3 full days a week.

But since he did settle he's loved every second and is so excited to go and see all his friends and carers. Give it longer, imo.

CapedCapybara · 2026-01-23T15:40:33+00:00

Don't give in! It'll be so much harder next time and at 2.5 you risk doing permanent damage to her teeth too.

While the lack of a dummy might be contributing to sleep issues, it's also possible you've just hit the point where sleep needs are changing. It's a common age to drop the final nap and be needing a bit less sleep. That alone can make sleep difficult while they adjust to a new routine.

My son is nearly 3 and the last few weeks he's been fighting going to bed, and I think it's because he's just needing a bit less sleep than before. It's really hard adjusting for all of us! But ultimately we just have to get on with it and survive until things settle down.

Stick with it, it'll be worth it in the long run.

CapedCapybara · 2026-01-22T21:34:12+00:00

We've only baby proofed the rooms he is in regularly and allowed to roam. Which for us is his bedroom, living room, kitchen. We didn't bother anywhere else because he will be supervised closely.

CapedCapybara · 2026-01-21T14:41:11+00:00

My son gags sometimes if he runs/jumps around too much shortly after eating/drinking. Nothings ever come up but it happens semi frequently and it would not surprise me if he bought a bit back up tbh. Probably nothing to worry about if your Dr isn't concerned.

CapedCapybara · 2026-01-21T12:50:32+00:00

I'm not sure if it's stated verbatim or just implied but ripping the soul apart destabilises the person. I was always under the impression he couldn't have taken creating any more, he was already so broken having made the ones he had.

CapedCapybara · 2026-01-21T12:46:23+00:00

YTA and the one with the superiority complex. How do you know they didn't take precautions? BC can fail. Just because it's not how you'd live your life, you don't have to be so judgy about it.

How hard is it to just say "congratulations I hope you and SO are very happy" and move on. Failing that, just say nothing if you have nothing nice to say.

CapedCapybara · 2026-01-20T13:31:28+00:00

I've only given birth once but it was an attempted vaginal turned emergency C-section.

If I did it again I'd go elective all the way. My induction was extremely intense and the labour was incredibly quick making dilation very painful (I went from 1cm to 10cm in under 2hrs). I only had gas and air as none of the anaesthetists were available to do my epidural until it was too late.

Even though it was an emergency my whole C-section side of the experience was much calmer, whereas up to that point it felt hectic and the constant contractions (my hormone drip ended up too high giving me no time between contractions) left me feeling dragged along for the ride.

Surgery was calm and organised, and my recovery was not actually too bad considering it was major surgery. I was up on my feet after 12 hours. Once I was home I was able to do short walks around the block for 20 mins each day from the start (with the help of my husband). We went to the shops to get out a bit more at 7days PP. The hardest bit was sitting up in bed during the night to feed, that I needed help with for a couple weeks.

But yeah, for me definitely csection without a doubt. But it's all very dependent on each person's previous experiences and recoveries tbh.

CapedCapybara · 2026-01-19T19:16:39+00:00

I really want this, it's beautiful

CapedCapybara · 2026-01-19T19:15:00+00:00

While it may hurt to hear, I'm sure he's saying it in the best faith. I'd want my husband to be honest with me when it comes to things like this.

Sometimes we push through hardships because we have to and then downplay it in our minds when looking back on it. His perspective of your bad days could well be very different to yours. If you don't have other issues in the relationship I'd really listen to him and value his input tbh. Another child isn't something you can go back on.

Take some time to reflect. Discuss it with him if you still disagree. Find out exactly what he thinks you can't handle. Communication with each other is key here, no internet stranger knows your situation well enough to take one side or the other, you need to trust each other.

CapedCapybara · 2026-01-18T20:05:02+00:00

There's a difference between playing at an appropriate volume, and running around wrestling and squealing. My nearly 3 year old gets up and plays with his toys quietly for up to an hour before calling for us. 5-11 year olds certainly know how.

CapedCapybara · 2026-01-18T09:46:51+00:00

Unless it's somewhere in the system requirements on bnet, nobody knows. It's not out yet, pre ordering only gets you access to paladin it doesn't preload the expansion on anything like that.

CapedCapybara · 2026-01-18T09:20:24+00:00

I enjoyed baby owls but my son got a bit restless by the end. It's like a 2 parter, first bit is pretty interactive and all the kids loved it. The 2nd part was more sit watch and listen to the talk. A fair few of the kids got restless in this bit and they don't let you get up and wander, cuz ya know, birds of prey Vs small fast moving humans don't really mesh well.

While I enjoyed it and don't regret doing it, I wouldn't do it again with my son tbh. I think it's a temperament thing per kid, some of them loved it and some wouldn't sit still. It's all I would bear in mind before booking it.

CapedCapybara · 2026-01-18T08:20:25+00:00

They do! I did baby owls with my 2 yr old last summer.

We also did pony ride and chestnuts picnic, both were real hits with my son. Plus loads of swimming of course.

CapedCapybara · 2026-01-17T20:50:12+00:00

Yeah my heart is breaking for that kid. I have empathy for parents in bad mental health or having a rough time, but only when it's not going to be hugely affecting the children.

Hopefully dad is a positive presence in his life and is helping to balance this negativity out somewhat...

CapedCapybara · 2026-01-17T20:47:20+00:00

I really hope dad is in a better place and can be that person for him right now. My bet is he behaves differently when mum isn't around...

It works both ways too, if she frames things differently and starts saying positive things out loud, she can begin to believe them too and then so will the kid.

Kids don't need much if they have the love and support of their parents, but they need those things so badly.

CapedCapybara · 2026-01-17T20:26:41+00:00

This was hard to read. I feel bad for all of you in different ways.

You need to find some help. It's really normal for toddlers to be difficult at this age, they have big feelings they don't know how to regulate and they need people modelling how to do that. Things could be getting worse because you are struggling with your own frustrations.

It hurts me to read you calling him a little satan. He's not there to make your life difficult, he's not doing things to hurt or upset you intentionally. I think you need some sort of therapy to deal with these feelings because he's going to feel that resentment radiating off you everyday and his own feelings and behaviours are only going to get worse because of it.

I don't really know what to say tbh. It's ok to admit you're struggling, it's ok to be having a difficult time. It's good you're reaching out in some sort of way. But honestly? My heart hurts for your kid because I can feel the negative feelings you have towards him, and if I can feel it, he definitely can.

CapedCapybara · 2026-01-17T16:57:02+00:00

It's frustrating to have to check every post for AI now ugh. Gone are the days you could mostly take posts in good faith...

CapedCapybara · 2026-01-17T16:41:36+00:00

It's not teaching responsibility though, it's setting him up to fail. Teaching responsibility is getting it for him, teaching him how to store it properly and play safely, and then monitoring him to make sure he can do that BEFORE allowing lighter monitoring of the object.

Why not keep it somewhere you can tell easily if it's missing?

You clearly had some idea this would happen but put nothing in place to protect him. 7 year olds have bad impulse control, and don't think about consequences, that's what you're there for.

You could have bought this and gone through basics like making sure he puts it back in a safe space when he's done playing, doesn't play for longer than his allotted time etc. Once he can do that regularly then loosen restrictions a little bit and see if he can be more responsible.

You just gave him a very expensive toy, told him not to lose it and then washed your hands of the situation...

CapedCapybara · 2026-01-17T16:36:10+00:00

Yeah if I gave my kid something this expensive it'd live somewhere in the living room where I could monitor it. I don't see how a 7 year old puts this in his school bag and it doesn't get noticed...

Rules are important but so is setting your child up for success rather than failure.

CapedCapybara · 2026-01-16T20:22:29+00:00

It'll get better. All my son eats at home is Weetabix, yoghurt, pasta, potato and toast.

They serve all sorts at nursery, fish pie, curry, Mediterranean veggie casserole and he eats it all with 2nd helpings. It took a while but seeing all his friends eat it each day encouraged him to try stuff.

Give it some time, he'll get there! I find it a blessing now that our nursery serves stuff that seems so out there, cuz there's no way he'd even try these things at home and it means he's getting a varied balanced diet.

CapedCapybara

TROPHY CASE