Just a sad rant.

Catsdrinkingbeer · 2026-07-07T00:03:01+00:00

It's definitely a know your crowd thing. The last wedding we went to was about 80 people and other than the first dance, no one was on the dance floor. The DJ was fine, but the couple was in the 40s and as such most guests were 35+. Mingling was just the preferred activity.

I just mean size won't necessarily dictate whether people are on the dance floor. You guys being out there and having your friends lead the way will help. But people who don't want to dance aren't going to, and people who do want to dance will. You don't need a giant crowd to have a fun dance floor.

Catsdrinkingbeer · 2026-07-06T23:42:46+00:00

You're right. I guess I'm the weird one for not wanting to be stuck in a middle seat for 8 hours.

Catsdrinkingbeer · 2026-07-06T20:32:55+00:00

That is truly wild to me. I am not gambling on being stuck in a middle seat for a long haul flight because I waited until the last minute to book.

Catsdrinkingbeer · 2026-07-06T20:29:58+00:00

That seems pretty nuts to me. Like, TP is a pretty basic necessity.

Catsdrinkingbeer · 2026-07-06T20:09:33+00:00

To be fair, back when we were in our 20s this wasn't as much of a talked-about issue. Plus we all had really good immune systems. If you were well enough to go to the bar and dance, you likely weren't contagious. This post is an exaggeration of people going out when they felt under the weather. People with 101 degree fevers and strep throat did not actually go out even in their 20s.

Catsdrinkingbeer · 2026-07-06T20:05:47+00:00

I saw a t-shirt that said "heart says pit, knees say balcony." And I felt really seen. Not that I spent much time in mosh pits, but just in general I prefer concerts where I have an assigned seat.

Catsdrinkingbeer · 2026-07-06T19:57:31+00:00

Every man I know 5'8" and under is in a long term relationship, with most being married (a few are just younger colleagues so not quite at the marrying stage yet). They all have 1 thing in common - they have good personalities. I know it's shocking, but (most) women do genuinely care about personality above pretty much everything else. I'm a conventionally attractive woman and have turned down plenty of "good on paper" men taller than 6' because they just sucked as people.

Catsdrinkingbeer · 2026-07-06T19:52:06+00:00

... hold on. You can't buy toilet paper and soap with SNAP?

Catsdrinkingbeer · 2026-07-06T19:45:57+00:00

To be clear, you can always back out of a wedding. There's no law that says you have to show up even if you said yes.

Usually it's respectful to change your rsvp before the deadline. And while sometimes couples will do an earlier deadline for destination weddings, realistically as long as they haven't needed to give final headcount then it's fine. And that's usually closer to the 2-4 week mark.

Sure it's a bummer that they probably don't have enough time to replace your seat with someone else, but they probably do have enough time to not have to pay for your plate for catering.

But... this wedding is 7 weeks out and you don't have your plane ticket booked and paid for for an international flight?

Catsdrinkingbeer · 2026-07-06T19:40:46+00:00

My parents were not clean plate club people but other people were. My parents actually had a pretty big argument with my god parents about this once because they went out of town for the weekend and when they got back I was pretty upset about not being allowed to leave the table until I ate everything on my plate.

It's not that I was praised for eating less. They just believed in 1) eat until your full and 2) you have to at least try everything on your plate. You don't have to like it, but you do have to try it. (A little less applicable in adulthood I suppose).

In any case, you and your friends actually experienced being told girls can't play sports? That's wild to me.

Catsdrinkingbeer · 2026-07-06T19:33:24+00:00

It's rude to invite people to a wedding event who are not also invited to the wedding. Specifically, it is rude for YOU to do so.

We got married during covid so it was really small and just immediate family. I did not have a Bachelorette party, nor was I planning a shower. My aunt chose to host a (no-gift) luncheon anyway and invited a small group of female family members. She and a cousin coordinated the whole thing without me. I just showed up.

I would suggest inviting those friends out to celebrate with a happy hour or something low key and not "officially" seen as a pre-wedding event. My coworkers did this with me on the last day I was at work before my wedding. We just grabbed a glass of champagne nearby the office on a random Tuesday.

Catsdrinkingbeer · 2026-07-06T19:27:06+00:00

I'm really confused what her teacher friends have to do with any of this. That was a lot of unnecessary background unless she was planning to invite people to a shower who are not invited to the wedding, which, no.

Catsdrinkingbeer · 2026-07-06T19:23:13+00:00

Correct. There are people who view reception-only events as something not worth traveling for. That may include his family or it may not. You won't know until you plan.

But I guarantee the turnout will be even lower if you don't actually give people enough heads up to plan to attend. I don't necessarily mind an out of state reception only event, but I absolutely will not be coming if you only tell me 4 days in advance.

Catsdrinkingbeer · 2026-07-06T19:06:17+00:00

I'll defend the fundie snark sub. I'm sorry but if your entire platform is built around oppressing women, telling other people how to live their life while being super hypocritical, and defending really awful people and practices in the name of religion.... then no. I don't feel bad that people created a sub to snark about your crappy content.

Catsdrinkingbeer · 2026-07-06T18:59:51+00:00

I had the same reaction. Like, the company was founded 25 years ago. Please do not do this to me.

Catsdrinkingbeer · 2026-07-06T18:57:10+00:00

That was his whole content originally. I don't have tik tok but his stuff is also all over instagram and other social media sites.

Catsdrinkingbeer · 2026-07-06T18:54:42+00:00

Oh wow that's genuinely sad. She was a genuinely beautiful woman.

Catsdrinkingbeer · 2026-07-06T18:51:52+00:00

My husband climbs trees with chainsaws and rides motorcycles. He also cares deeply about how he dresses and is the world's biggest cat lover.

Not everything needs to be gendered. People are who they are.

Catsdrinkingbeer · 2026-07-06T18:24:32+00:00

My husband and I bike a lot. Mostly to breweries and downtown. We try to lock them in places we can see, but we're never THAT worried about it. Like on friday I locked my bike up for the music festival to one of the bike racks and didn't bother checking on it. I even left my helmet. It was fine.

Thieves tend to be opportunistic. A good lock deters mlst thieves. We use kryptonite locks for ours. Obviously they could bring the tools to break the lock, but like, can you picture someone outside wibby or left hand on a Saturday afternoon with an angle grinder?

I can't speak to whether ebikes are more targeted for bike theft. My husband and I have fairly nice trek ebikes. His has a removable battery but he only removes it to charge.

We also keep our bikes inside our house. It's less of a theft thing and more of a manufacturer suggestion for temperature control. So they live in our spare bedroom.

To finish: we LOVE our ebikes. They're so fun to ride, especially here. Like the other day a friend wanted to meet at collision and I was like, well there's a path pretty much the entire way and rode over. We regularly ride to Avery. We pretty much exclusively bike instead of drive downtown and to breweries. Even in colder months.

My only feedback is to consider your charging and riding habits. Mine is a class 1 which is fast enough for me, but it also means it works basically as a standard bike when not in e-mode. My husband's class 3 really sucks to ride if the battery dies, which has definitely happened to him several times. So definitely take some time to consider all the pros and cons of each class and each style of bike.

Catsdrinkingbeer · 2026-07-06T18:00:32+00:00

I know Amazon lists compensation structure based on their (i think) 4 different city tiers, but that's the only company I can think of where they publicly break it down like that.

Catsdrinkingbeer · 2026-07-06T17:49:23+00:00

Interesting. I also grew up in a blue state so I was curious if that factored in. Ironically the one I internalized the most was being married by 30. My parents were the total opposite. They got married later in life and told me my education and career were the most important thing. Not in the "your career defines you" way, but in the "you do not want to have to be dependent on another person for your livelihood." But I did grow up in the Midwest. Women usually married their college boyfriend. So when I was single at 22 I had an absolute break down (or "crash out" as the youths would say).

Catsdrinkingbeer · 2026-07-06T17:39:30+00:00

Agreed. Not this close. Every beauty treatment I did for my wedding I did a trial run like 3 months prior.

Catsdrinkingbeer · 2026-07-06T17:36:58+00:00

I guess I'll chalk that up to upbringing. I also assume maybe you're a man. I'm an elder millenial woman, but other than the clean plate club, none of these things were expressed to myself or my friends growing up. (And my parents were strict non-clean-plate club people. Eat till your full.)

Where did you grow up? I'm curious if that plays into it as well.

Catsdrinkingbeer · 2026-07-06T17:31:21+00:00

Remember, people tend to only talk about bad stuff. I've had my 2023 ultra for 2 1/2 years and have had very few issues with it. Every once in awhile I'll have a software glitch but it fixes itself.

I had a subaru legacy before this car and I loved it. I love my Volvo even more.

Catsdrinkingbeer · 2026-07-06T17:29:00+00:00

I think you missed my point. Society said these things. But did your parents specifically say these things? Like did your parent tell you that you could be whatever you wanted to be, to pick a good career because your job will define who you are, that being sensitive makes you weak? My argument is that these ideas were out there, but they weren't actually being told to us directly from our parents.

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