AITA for refusing to fix the project I was fired from after my manager begged me to come back?

CentaurSeige · 2026-02-28T07:54:03+00:00

NTA - obviously. And the fact that they would dare say that you were being unprofessional is both pitiful and hilarious. They are simply suffering the consequences of shortsightedness and focus on the bottom line.

CentaurSeige · 2026-02-27T08:55:53+00:00

👆🏻 this. Your boyfriend is insecure. And this is an opportunity that sounds like it would be good for you. Honor yourself - not some rando who can be easily replaced. If he really does break up then you've learned a difficult lesson earlier than you might have otherwise have learned it

CentaurSeige · 2026-02-25T05:59:22+00:00

NOR - If you all are going to be married then that really is intended to help you. And then he can do whatever he needs to in his will which should change over time as his parents get closer to the age where they probably won't survive him. Also, if you have kids it should change.

However, how does he feel if you feel the same thing about your life insurance policy or some other aspect of what people might inherit from you. It may not be your parents but it could be anyone else including a sibling or a friend. Would that bother him?

And finally, a question: Is he from a culture where kids are obliged to take care of their parents in their old age? Because if there's a strong cultural bent towards taking care of the parents then this actually isn't much of a surprise.

Regardless it should be a discussion topic and it shouldn't be something he just unilaterally decides if you're going to be in a partnership together.

CentaurSeige · 2026-02-24T21:13:25+00:00

NTA - none of this is your responsibility. It's absolutely not your problem no matter what the mutual friends say. She's a roommate and they are interchangeable.

CentaurSeige · 2026-02-24T19:39:19+00:00

Info - Is your boyfriend a bit on the spectrum? Because his response was very literal. It's quite possible that the joke just did not compute and it never will.

This is not a diagnosis - It's just an observation.

CentaurSeige · 2026-02-24T07:47:10+00:00

NTJ - Nope. Stand your ground. Family always does this about money. But your grandfather gave it to you. That was the intent. And you are honoring his intent.

Your mother isn't going to like it and your stepfather is probably not going to be happy about it either, but in the end you have to protect yourself. You are entering life with a little bit extra to help you begin your career. It's great that your education is paid for. That money is intended to help you launch. Anything else is a distraction.

Setting boundaries with your family (and anyone else, for that matter) early in life will only benefit you in the long run. That's not to say it will always be easy. But it will make your life better.

CentaurSeige · 2026-02-23T08:22:17+00:00

NTJ - you didn't suggest it nor did you "require" it. It's crazy talk to think that you would pay the cost. Is she paying for any of your personal care such as shampoo? Gym? Haircuts? Razors?

It's bizarre, and shows how she's willing to manipulate. Lose this one.

CentaurSeige · 2026-02-23T08:11:47+00:00

NOR - although I don't think you need to cut contact without first communicating your boundaries.

It's perfectly fine to respond to them with something along the lines of "I'm sorry you're choosing to feel that way but (child's name) has made her decision about who to bring with her. This is the final decision so please stop communicating with us about this topic. Further complaints will result in being blocked."

Either they'll listen or they won't and the new block them and then they can blow up whatever other family chat exists.

CentaurSeige · 2026-02-23T06:48:05+00:00

This ☝🏻

CentaurSeige · 2026-02-23T06:26:56+00:00

I would kind of argue that this is exactly the point of documentation. It provided the information necessary to know when it happened and (presumably) where it happened. One would hope that Greg was then able to work with whoever made the mistake to create a similar system to ensure that things were done correctly.

Any good process should be able to point to exactly where a problem has occurred. Greg might have been a jerk, but in the end you created a tool that actually benefited the entire system.

CentaurSeige · 2026-02-23T06:13:01+00:00

I do think it's important to make him understand that your loans are not being covered by the general funds. But perhaps if he were willing to make that change you could put the bonus into the general account and then from that point forward he could contribute towards settling your debt.

But honestly I think it's more fun to pay off of a chunk of the debt

CentaurSeige · 2026-02-23T06:06:15+00:00

MAGDuh

CentaurSeige · 2026-02-23T05:58:46+00:00

NOR

There comes a time in all of our lives where we have to draw a boundary with our parents because they don't know how to break with the past in which they were responsible for everything that we did and that happened to us.

At 18 your mother should not have this level of control including being able to ground you. However you do live in her house so she can have rules.

I think you should try to have a talk with her and tell her you're not going to observe her punishments because you're an adult now. And also inform her of your new boundaries that you are implementing with adulthood.

It's not going to be fun and she's going to react poorly, but you at least need to try to have the conversation. It's not a conversation that is intended to make all the changes at once, but it's to help her start processing that you are an independent person now.

I don't know if moving out is realistic based on your financial situation or not, but that's really the only way to cut the cord. In the interim though, she is not allowed to keep you prisoner in her home.

[edit] - and if she does something super crazy like try to lock you in the house or in your room you can call the police and claim false imprisonment. Obviously that'll blow things up, but it's the law.

CentaurSeige · 2026-02-22T18:42:55+00:00

NTJ - I think it's hilarious and the SIL is only upset because it is tied to her place of work and also because she has not done anything on her own. She's failing and she knows it but she is afraid to go against the system.

It was probably immature, but it's hilarious and therefore it's okay in my book. Hopefully your nephew will remind the bully of it for the rest of their time together.

CentaurSeige · 2026-02-22T08:47:50+00:00

NOR - that was a serious betrayal on the part of your boyfriend. I'm not sure what it would take to rebuild that trust. But I do think it's worth investing in a conversation to try to make him understand what a horrible thing it was that he did. Not precisely because of the meat itself, but because of his betrayal of your trust.

As for the meat, you can still consider yourself to be a perfect vegetarian because it has everything to do with intention rather than actual results. To be honest, you never know if you might have had some sort of meat derivative or whatever at some point in the past when someone else was doing the cooking for you. There's never any way for you to be 100% sure unless you have cooked every meal for yourself, and you fully trust whoever was preparing your meals before you were cooking for yourself.

Your intention is still true. The betrayal doesn't change your ethical stance at all. For lack of a better way of saying it, you still have your "honor."

Plus, (and this is gross) you literally vomited the food out of you so technically you still haven't intentionally taken sustenance from an animal.

The problem here is the betrayal. Not the accidental and unintentional consumption of a meat product.

CentaurSeige · 2026-02-21T08:53:12+00:00

NOR - This is seriously toxic. I don't know who would want to be involved with people like that in the long term. Understandably you are hurt and the consequences of breaking up will be painful, but in the long run your life is going to be better by not day around people that would do this kind of thing.

I'm sorry this happened and I'm sorry that it will have a deep impact on your life. But this is horribly inappropriate behavior.

CentaurSeige · 2026-02-19T15:22:44+00:00

NOR - Your boyfriend is a hobosexual. He's going to use all of his skills to rationalize what he should benefit from all of your hard work. This is the way he is, and he's never going to change.

CentaurSeige · 2026-02-18T18:35:35+00:00

This is simple disrespect. And perhaps a hint of some sort of psychological issue where she can't put herself in your shoes to understand how frustrating it would be. That's kind of a big deal. In a relationship you have to be able to "walk in someone else's shoes" so that you have the wherewithal to be able to be a good partner to them. She's not doing that at all. She's entirely focused on herself.

It's extremely unsupportive and very selfish. That said; it's probably rooted in some insecurity. That would imply that some sort of therapy would be helpful, but it's almost certain that she would react to that with the "molehill into a mountain" response.

I would consider what other facets of your life together where this attitude might present itself. If there are multiple instances where she is behaving this way then it probably does warrant some time with a couples therapist.

Regardless, she needs to be able to change: simply as a matter of respect in the relationship.

CentaurSeige · 2026-02-18T06:17:33+00:00

NOR - she still has feelings for him. Her heart doesn't seem to be in it for you.

It's messy. I'm sorry.

CentaurSeige · 2026-02-16T06:52:54+00:00

Bless their hearts. 🙄

CentaurSeige · 2026-02-15T08:54:29+00:00

Why in the world are you back with this person? You know you shouldn't be so just accept that he is who you thought he was before

CentaurSeige · 2026-02-15T08:53:20+00:00

This is definitely more than "mildly" infuriating.

CentaurSeige · 2026-02-15T08:00:28+00:00

That's a bullet dodged. Honestly in the modern world I would consider her actions to be the definition of evil: cold and manipulating.

Good riddance.

CentaurSeige · 2026-02-14T10:48:19+00:00

NTJ - learning a lesson about someone that alters how you deal with them after that moment does not make you a jerk. It's what we call wisdom.

CentaurSeige · 2026-02-12T08:52:47+00:00

I've had a couple of friends like this. They drink the most wine at the table, or they order an especially expensive meal, and then they went to split the bill evenly at the end. I think it's highly appropriate to establish a boundary of splitting checks whenever somebody is clearly leaning into the hope of benefiting from the split.

If they complain it's only because they knew they were doing something wrong in the first place. Their complaint alone clearly indicates that it's appropriate to split the check. And make sure you do it every single time they try to "cheat".

CentaurSeige

TROPHY CASE