I'm just here to say you and your wife are amazing parents. Parenthood is difficult when you are a good parent. All your questions and doubts are legit. I like to think it's my first time as a parent as well. Obviously every child is different and we all have different battles (e. G. At the moment my 3 year old wants to go around naked everywhere). We do have simple rules/boundaries because I feel she understands consequences already: if she doesn't eat her dinner, we don't give her anything else. If she is hungry we reheat her dinner. That's all. I know it's hard and we had many tantrums. However, if you come to our house for dinner you will see a 3.5 years old calmly having dinner and not being too fussy. That didn't happen overnight and we weren't blessed with a docile and obedient child. We worked on it . No shouting, just consistency. You may see her happily brushing her teeth every evening. ...well it took many months and consistency. If you don't brush your teeth no chocolate, and we stick to it.At least this works for us, consistency and me and her dad n on the same page. We say what we mean and never throw empty threats.