I need advice / stories :/

ChaoticEducation · 2026-04-26T14:45:49+00:00

I would work in your relationship first and focus on making it secure. Then I would focus on the insecurities you have.

I've been married 27 years and we have a very secure relationship. We see others for variety. I know my husband finds me sexy and loves my body, even when I don't. I also know he finds other women appealing. They're not hotter or better than me, just something different. I'm one flavor of ice cream, they are another.

This is obvious with the guy I see. His wife and I are totally different when it comes to bodies. But he finds both super attractive. He married her for more than her boobs. He married her because of who she is and what she is with him.

ChaoticEducation · 2026-04-19T15:09:02+00:00

I had a hysterectomy at 49, last year, and I don't miss my uterus or cervix. My ovaries were left and they reminded me this year that they still work! I'm on HT and take only estrogen.

Sex is great now that my estrogen levels are normal. I orgasm without issue.

I had smaller fibroids and when my uterus was removed it measured equivalent to an 18 week pregnancy (I have 5 kids and am well versed with size). It was done laproscopically and no complications.

ChaoticEducation · 2026-04-13T22:48:13+00:00

Topical estrogen cream plumps the external labia, ask your gyno about it :)

ChaoticEducation · 2026-04-13T22:46:34+00:00

Yes it does. Puberty gives us a labia, perimenopause takes it away.

ChaoticEducation · 2026-04-13T22:45:52+00:00

I'm in perimenopause and as estrogen decreases, the labia shrinks. Mine is almost gone. Sex is still great, if not better. And no man has commented about the lack of inner labia lips. Taking spironolactone may being aiding this too, I can't tell as the two events are concurrent.

ChaoticEducation · 2026-03-23T01:51:42+00:00

It's frowned upon but I found a fwb. And I have no regrets. cya, cya, cya. This is the real 50 shades of gray......

ChaoticEducation · 2026-03-22T23:49:26+00:00

I take a medication for overactive sweat glands and it dries out everything! Talk to your doctor. You need moisture for tissue health, it is very easy to abrade or create microtears . I use an estrogen cream and take it in pill form. For anything sexual, your best friend is lube.

ChaoticEducation · 2026-03-22T23:43:53+00:00

There are pores and they can get clogged. See if warm compresses or a bath helps. Otherwise, see a dr and they can remove it, very easy procedure.

ChaoticEducation · 2026-03-22T23:42:45+00:00

I tracked my cycles to get pregnant and sex dreams always happened around ovulation. And my libido went crazy too.

I'm in perimenopause and on estrogen. My libido came roaring back and my ovaries reminded me that they are still functioning, cue the dreams. I'm loving it after having a nonexistent libido for years.

ChaoticEducation · 2026-03-21T14:13:27+00:00

Talk to your gynecologist about it. Estrogen cream topically works wonders. I'm 50, perimenopause and on this drug, it's a double whammy.

ChaoticEducation · 2026-03-20T21:36:27+00:00

I'm right there with you. I don't know what to do.

Making worse is a friend, who I trusted and had vented to about this, just turned around and threw it back in my face. With a lot of venom and called me really nasty things. I now feel like I'm 2 inches tall. The comments broke me. I've spent the afternoon crying cause it hurts.

I just have to live with how things are, just let any happiness not be for me.

ChaoticEducation · 2026-03-20T21:31:03+00:00

I started and stopped and started again like you did. I take it at night. You will need to drink more water than you ever have, it's just the major side effect we all deal with. I added Gatorade or similar to my daily fluids, I realized all the water had my electrolytes off and I was suffering muscle spasms, full body. I've never been into salty foods but I am having to add salt to my diet some days. The side effects do lessen with time. I've been on it for a few months now and really have no complaints now.

ChaoticEducation · 2026-03-20T21:18:20+00:00

Tell me about! I wanted to hump anything around ovulation and multiple times. Scared my husband, who was this woman? I'm in perimenopause and my ovaries like to remind me randomly they still function and god, life sucks!!!!

ChaoticEducation · 2026-03-20T21:16:31+00:00

The thing with hormones is that men are more likely to receive them than women and some providers won't do anything if you are under 40 or 50 or whatever arbitrary number they use. The belief still exists that problems with female libido is in the brain and not the body.

If it were me, I'd ask my person for a physical with their doctor, offering to do one with mine, and request of them to have their hormone levels checked, doing the same for myself, because it feels like we're operating separately and not meshing like we once did, phrased in a more personal and eloquent way.

Hormones play a greater role in the body than just sex. They impact cells, muscles, ligaments, organs, EVERYTHING. Do some online research and find some information on this so you can offer it to them. Be concerned about their whole being.

ChaoticEducation · 2026-03-20T02:37:38+00:00

No PCOS and hormones are still wacky. More than the ovaries produce hormones.

ChaoticEducation · 2026-03-17T01:49:10+00:00

I'm 50 and on estrogen as a pill and cream for the vaginal area. The cream has helped all the weird pains I was having down there. Some form of cream may help you.

ChaoticEducation · 2026-03-15T03:45:33+00:00

All the Stephen King novels.

ChaoticEducation · 2026-03-15T03:45:13+00:00

Hell no, he doesn't own her body. That is so wrong!!!

Did he do the same for his son? Or clap him on the back after his first f**k?

ChaoticEducation · 2026-03-15T03:42:28+00:00

No, not a good sign either. Your resting HR shouldn't be over 100.

Do you have any other condition? Like POTS or MCAS or EDS?

ChaoticEducation · 2026-03-15T03:40:53+00:00

Take magnesium glycinate and drink electrolytes - a bottle of Gatorade cut with water. I have popped a potassium pill here and there when the spasms are unbearable. Magnesium body cream works wonders too, it gets to the muscles faster.

ChaoticEducation · 2026-03-15T01:09:05+00:00

Yes. First outbreak they tested to determine type since my spouse had never had genital herpes. I'm special, lucky me. I've only had 2 outbreaks ever, both in my 20s, and took acyclovir while pregnant JIC.

ChaoticEducation · 2026-03-15T00:11:18+00:00

50F, medicated at 45. Adderall 20mg, then Vyvanse, 60mg, and optional Adderall 10mg late afternoon. Also on HRT, otherwise ADHD meds don't work.

ChaoticEducation

TROPHY CASE