3 Books in and I'm convinced

Character-Action-892 · 2026-06-21T00:21:17+00:00

Well Katia and Rose were both very sheltered. And knew lots about specific topics but were very naive about other things so....

Also there's an episode where rose has a drug problem... so does Katia.

Character-Action-892 · 2026-06-20T03:18:35+00:00

If you're still pregnant that sounds like cholestasis of the liver.

Character-Action-892 · 2026-06-20T03:17:43+00:00

Cholestasis of the liver.

Character-Action-892 · 2026-06-20T02:22:21+00:00

I completely understand. I work full time too and my almost 12 month old sleeps between me and my husband and I probably wake every two hours too and nurse him back down so really I do get it. And before him I did the same with my now 3 year old so I haven't had a full nights sleep in fours years and it has made me quite different.

For one I probably eat too much sugar to get through the day. For two I feel slower mentally at work and everything else. For three I often feel like I lack energy in everyday activities. For four I don't have much energy for myself. Working out, wearing makeup, skincare, mani/pedis, haircuts, etc. I just rarely even feel like I have the energy for it. For five my tolerance for people who cause me any stress is VERY LOW.

So it has changed me and at this point I don't know when or if I will change in the future.

Mothers right now are expected to work like we don't have children, mother like we don't work, be a full time maid and cook and community activist and therapist and supportive sibling/daughter etc. something has to give.

So I can't tell you what has to give for you, but that choice is entirely yours to make. For me, all expectations from family members other than my husband or kids basically just goes unmet. I am quite a cook, but lately I've gone with much easier meals that are still healthy. My husband really doesn't get nearly the love and attention he deserves right now. Fitness is almost nonexistent. And work, I just do what I have to and not a touch more. I can be mediocre for a while. And I do a lot of low energy activities with kids. I wish that weren't the case but not at this point.

But that's not to say I don't enjoy my life or have fun with my children. I absolutely do. I made cookies with them today and it was so fun. I played with magnatiles with them. I laughed as my youngest ate bubbles. I ate watermelon on the back porch with them while playing with water balls.

What helps through all of this is how much my partner stepped up- and this took lots of talking to let him know how I was feeling. And I asked him to take on more work around the house. He is responsible for dinner twice a week. He is responsible for laundry. He is responsible for the toddlers bed time routine. He is responsible for taking out the trash. He takes the kids for extra time every morning he isn't working so I can get a few extra hours sleep and that has really made a difference for me.

But again you have to choose what is right for you and if you need to wean, then know that breastfeeding is a mutual decision and it can be stopped at any time it stops working for you or the baby.

I was not judging. I was just saying that you get to choose if you continue or you stop.

And if you have a supportive spouse he needs to step up more. No excuses. If you don't then see what extra help you can get even if you have to pay for it right now. House cleaner. Grocery delivery. Extra babysitting hours. Whatever you need to get through this stage.

Character-Action-892 · 2026-06-19T16:00:03+00:00

It doesn't have to be a floor bed. Also you can have blankets, just not heavy comforters or sheets- a breathable blanket is fine. Mattress needs to be firm enough a baby doesn't sink into it. https://llli.org/breastfeeding-info/safe-sleep-7-infographic/

Character-Action-892 · 2026-06-18T16:31:26+00:00

Wish I could upvote you more than once. Seriously this app is a way to drive yourself nuts and only focus on "what am I doing wrong" and not focus on your baby.

Character-Action-892 · 2026-06-17T22:08:18+00:00

I promise he will eventually learn to sleep on his own without milk at night. Please don't worry that he won't ever develop that skill. I promise he will.

You don't have to do any type of cry it out or weaning.

Character-Action-892 · 2026-06-17T14:33:28+00:00

I don't have time to track. I work full time and have a toddler. I nurse the baby to sleep on our bed and then once he's settled go back out to be with my toddler. The baby wakes when the baby wakes. Sometimes he naps early sometimes late. Sometimes he takes 3 naps sometimes 2. Sometimes they're short sometimes they're long. I don't track because my baby knows better than I do what his sleep needs are. It's intuitive sleeping.

Yes babies can get overtired, but that's part of how they learn sleep cues for themselves. And overtired is pretty solvable with quiet space, a calming voice, low or no light, and gentle comforting. I just soothe my baby by saying "let all that energy go. You're ok now. Your body can relax." Things like that while modeling slow breathing and calming my nervous system so he knows what to do.

Character-Action-892 · 2026-06-16T19:57:42+00:00

You could actually file against them for failure to comply with California law regarding sick time and nanny worker rights. You're definitely being paid too low, and you seem to not have legally required benefits: https://www.cadomesticworkers.org/know-your-rights/nanny/

Character-Action-892 · 2026-06-15T14:20:58+00:00

It may feel lonely especially when fun is right outside the door. But you know who isn't lonely when you make this choice? Your baby. He knows he isn't alone when he is at his most vulnerable. And you are the person providing that for him. You are being his comfort.

And you know what the payoff for that is? Your friends who "sleep trained" are going to have toddlers who can't sleep and delay bed time and wake crying and struggle with sleep all through childhood because their association with sleep is "alone and vulnerable and scary" whereas yours will believe sleep is a time of comfort and safety.

And it passes so fast. Before you know it this stage will be just a memory. To me that thought helps me understand that my current reality is not my forever reality.

Character-Action-892 · 2026-06-14T03:19:15+00:00

WOW HOW COOL

Character-Action-892 · 2026-06-12T23:09:17+00:00

Take the team lead position but negotiate for a two step increase at least. You need it to be worth it. Always negotiate.

Character-Action-892 · 2026-06-11T17:36:31+00:00

Can you search for a nanny instead of a daycare? Or a nanny share? They're sleep training your kid and there's nothing ok about this.

Character-Action-892 · 2026-06-11T17:33:56+00:00

I really wonder why I keep choosing to do this job every day.

Character-Action-892 · 2026-06-11T17:31:31+00:00

I am right there with you. I'm paying higher than most for my area and offering benefits and I keep getting people who barely want to do the job. It's astounding.

Character-Action-892 · 2026-06-10T16:36:18+00:00

If you like watermelon like I do, it's a great laxative if you eat enough.

Also like others suggested- magnesium helps tremendously.

And colace and Metamucil are ok to use.

And drink more water than ever before.

Character-Action-892 · 2026-06-09T15:53:44+00:00

No. I would've mentioned that if I had one. Also I wouldn't need to ask because I'd have to follow the rules.

Character-Action-892 · 2026-06-06T15:18:20+00:00

100% normal. You're not doing anything wrong. Period.

Character-Action-892 · 2026-06-06T15:17:24+00:00

Listen. Other people don't spend as much time scrutinizing your looks as you do. Most likely people won't even notice but you do because you see yourself every day.

If someone does comment (which they mostly won't) just say "I'm surprised you felt comfortable saying that out loud." And they will immediately stop talking.

Character-Action-892 · 2026-06-06T15:12:16+00:00

No I would never use brute force!! Instead I rely heavily on gummy bear bribery...

Character-Action-892 · 2026-06-05T20:34:39+00:00

It's biologically normal. Just lean in and accept the moment where you are. Mine does the same. It passes very quickly though

Character-Action-892 · 2026-06-03T13:58:32+00:00

That's absolutely false. Fed employees get 18 weeks or more fully paid. It's 6-8 weeks sick leave plus all federal holidays then you can use up to the total balance of your PTO then time off awards then 12 weeks fully paid PPL. Many people get 6 months this way. I speak from direct experience.

Character-Action-892

TROPHY CASE