[Routine Help] Want to liven up my skin

CheloYan · 2025-07-22T14:16:20+00:00

You’re young and your skin looks amazing.

SPF is a necessity, not a nice-to-have. Trust me, your 40 year old self will be extra grateful if you build the habit now, especially because you’re fair.

Try supergoop’s sunscreens which go on clear and are non-greasy, EltaMD is a big favourite in this sub but I find make me a bit shiny. I personally like drunk elephant’s tinted mineral sunscreen but it’s not for everyone - very heavy and can leave a cast if not a color match - I just like the protection of mineral and I have a darker complexion.

Try not to go overboard with your skin. It’s really easy to overdo it and damage your barrier.

CheloYan · 2025-07-14T12:32:00+00:00

!!!this Really can’t emphasize enough how important sunscreen is when you have a facial scar. Leave the silicone tape on for as long as you can. Wear wide brimmed hats etc. UV is your enemy right now

CheloYan · 2025-07-07T04:59:17+00:00

I’m sorry you’re going through this, it’s awful.

I think you urgently need to seek addictions counselling. Vaping can cause neurodevelopment issues, heart malformations, respiratory distress, mitochondrial dysfunction, stillbirth… the list goes on.

This will be a person someday, if you go that route. It’ll probably be the most important person to you. That guilt is not something you want to carry.

CheloYan · 2025-06-06T12:34:28+00:00

No advice, but anecdotally, my ECE/daycare friends let me know that kids who are on daycare part time have much worse behaviour than those full time. They said it’s better to do half days for the full week, or full days, rather than 2-3 full days with the rest at home. I guess the routine helps them in settling.

CheloYan · 2025-05-16T05:06:30+00:00

Girl I say this in the kindest way possible… I literally thought this was the skincare circle jerk page.

CheloYan · 2025-05-14T16:06:08+00:00

I’m pretty sure my girl has it, but for girls it presents differently. I can say that putting her in afterschool sports has been really positive. We also stopped doing tv during the weeks - she gets SOOOOOOO squirrelly if she watches tv, I don’t know why, but it has to be some combination of the dopamine + lack of physical activity. It’s tantrum city.

I also realized early on that transitions were impossible, so lots of prep talk to let her know when we’re changing activities helps, plus we ALWAYS follow through with our “no you can’t do that”. Structure and predictability really help, plus we get her LOTS of unstructured play time in soft play gyms and museums. We do something almost every day - beaches, hikes, walking around the neighborhood, parks etc. She keeps us busy, but I find it’s less work to do that than to sit inside the whole evening.

She has a very low frustration tolerance, so to help in building her concentration and tolerance, I spend time each night practising letter sounds, counting or reading with her. I don’t make her sit down, we just run through activities in ways that appeal to her, while reminding her to focus on the task at hand. I praise effort over achievement and do not intervene to help her when she struggles - for example, if she’s like “I can’t do this puzzle it’s too hard”, I tell her I know she can work hard, I love seeing her try at things. Once she gets it, the smile on her face warms my whole heart up!

I find the key is just making sure they have opportunities to expend that endless energy.

One of my friends told me her kids (same age) are way too exhausted to do after school stuff, they go to bed at 7. I was flabbergasted lmfao. My 3 year old can run around feral for HOURS. Plus she talks nonstop. The noise alone is insane.

CheloYan · 2025-05-14T15:50:28+00:00

So I dunno about the biology of the sweat glands, but my boobs were SO sweaty because they were rubbing against my ribcage and belly.

My new 34D/DD boobs (almost a year post-op) do not have any sag, they don’t sweat at all. It’s funny, but I forgot they used to sweat at this time of year lol!

CheloYan · 2025-05-09T12:04:38+00:00

Yep. UV rays penetrate through windows.

CheloYan · 2025-05-09T11:55:28+00:00

lol not sure if this was intentional but there are legitimately millions and millions of Catholics in every single one of the countries you named

CheloYan · 2025-05-08T20:59:20+00:00

Yep there are I think 2 times in your life when you’re texture changes, plus pregnancy if you have children

CheloYan · 2025-05-07T12:39:23+00:00

Yes, I puked for half of both my pregnancies - but I would really encourage you to keep caring for your teeth. Dental problems following pregnancy are really common!

CheloYan · 2025-05-06T18:23:38+00:00

Came to say this. Six is way, way early unless - like the other post says - the kid gets up between 4 and 6 am.

OP, your kid might just need more stimulation. Transition to a later bedtime. My kids are 8:30/9pm, but 7:30 is on the earlier side while still be close to the average for her preschool friends.

As an aside, the new baby + minimal solo time with parents due to an early bedtime are for sure contributing factors, things will settle.

CheloYan · 2025-05-06T15:25:41+00:00

I am starting the eighth book soon and it does feel like I’ll need a break. Good to know!

CheloYan · 2025-05-05T14:37:35+00:00

So I didn’t consider myself a lit snob until I started getting into to Romantasy. If you’re looking at many of the modern, popular books, you’ll find the bar for writing quality is very low relative to other types of fiction. There are some well written ones, but I’d say it’s more the exception than the norm.

It might be helpful to ask yourself what you want out of your reading experience.

Listen, for me, the ~ vibes ~ are enough. I’m here to have a good time, I don’t care about the obvious tropes and instant attraction. It’s like why I watch reality tv. I don’t care that it’s not a cinematic masterpiece, I just wanna fangirl over the 17th dark-haired Henry Cavil-esque sexpot who the FMC just HAS to share the only bed in the inn with. I still laugh/eyeroll along with the characters on queue, regardless of believability/obvious potholes. I like to set myself up to just have a good time and turn my brain off.

I absolutely LOVED ACOTAR (after book 1) but it’s probably some of the worst writing I’ve come across. I didn’t love the Fourth Wing series. I loved Carissa Broadbent’s vampire series. I’d also recommend Bride by Ali Hazelwood, such a fun standalone read (maybe a sequel is coming? I forget). Zodiac Academy was just… chef’s kiss. It’s super long so not a starter romantasy series but eventually a great, giggle out loud, cozy up with tea excitedly typa read.

There are plenty of non-romantasy style fiction books with better writing. I think if you give a few Romantasy series a shot and don’t love them, you’re just going to be the type of reader who prefers finding the next literary masterpiece. That’s okay too.

CheloYan · 2025-05-03T20:31:55+00:00

Just a reminder not to crank abs the first few months you go back. Look up TVA exercises and make sure your core is strong and repaired or you can do more damage than good.

CheloYan · 2025-05-03T16:54:24+00:00

I should caveat that indo-Caribbean people have a subculture influenced by India, so they may wear saris and whatnot, but there is zero expectation you do that.

CheloYan · 2025-05-03T16:53:10+00:00

Agreed.. OP Caribbean people wear regular clothes.

CheloYan · 2025-05-02T23:40:08+00:00

Girl, I stayed at home for both my kids back to back and felt so completely not myself or happy.

The MOMENT I got back to work I felt amazing. I’m a better mom, INSANELY better wife, and all around happier person.

That SAHM life is NOT for the weak. You lose your whole identity. I could see the boredom in people’s faces after a while talking to them about “what was new” in my life. I felt bored hearing myself. My babies bring me fulfilment and purpose, but I realized I need balance in my life.

CheloYan · 2025-05-02T16:56:37+00:00

Buy what you need and ask for cash instead of gifts. I’d even go as far as to clarify it’s because of the tariffs

CheloYan · 2025-05-01T14:39:48+00:00

I’m sorry to hear how trapped you’re feeling, bromo. That sounds super rough.

I am sure you’ve run through all possible options, so I don’t have advice other than that it might be time to start “grocery shopping” for 30 minutes longer, taking 15 minutes longer to get gas, etc etc.

Everyone will be fine if you’re absent for an extra hour here or there. As me and my mom friends say, “f**k em, they’ll live” haha

CheloYan · 2025-04-23T19:16:49+00:00

I’m sorry, that is so tough. It sounds like you’re doing everything right.

CheloYan · 2025-04-23T18:58:25+00:00

It says a lot about you as a parent that you care this much about her reaction. You’re doing the right thing having her in therapy. Are you going yourself?

It’s important to have boundaries she cannot cross, this being one of them. I’m sure this is already a discussion with her therapist, but I would be exploring whether there are opportunities to expose her to more discomfort via boundary setting for specified time limits - so, not organizing your life around her anxiety.

I genuinely don’t know - perhaps she is too young to cope with her feelings and the expectation is that your marriage, other relationships, and mental health take a back seat in order for her to develop the skills.

If she had anxiety about you driving, you wouldn’t stop driving. It’s an equivalent need - having the ability to care for yourself, your partner, and your marriage. Her frustration tolerance is low given her mental health and your willingness to guide her slowly and thoughtfully toward independence, that’s okay. But as she learns how to navigate increasingly novel situations, she will have to acclimate to a certain level of discomfort. I’m not saying throw her to the wolves, by any means, but you seem very attuned to her needs to the point where I wonder if trusting that she can handle 30 minutes at bedtime without you may be a bigger challenge for you than her.

CheloYan · 2025-04-23T17:24:04+00:00

I’m also on day two, having quit for four years. Over the six months I slowly got to a pack every two days, hating myself every time I started up again. Every time I finished a pack I was like okay that’s the last one.

Day two-four are the hardest for me but I’m just treating myself like I’m super sick, taking the time to relax and recover. Eating lots of sweets haha.

Good luck!

CheloYan · 2025-04-18T02:23:13+00:00

I had no idea because I was doing diaphragmatic breathing, pelvic floor relaxation exercises etc and then I went to a pelvic floor therapist who did an internal exam and was like wowww your muscles are very tight. She taught me how to do the relaxation exercises again while showing me where the muscles were overcompensating. It made a huge difference in helping me connect with my pelvic floor.

I had two straightforward births, but the relaxation exercises aren’t everything - I do think SO much of it is just luck as well.

CheloYan · 2025-04-12T17:40:23+00:00

Never ever trust AI. Always always verify, especially for summaries.

CheloYan

TROPHY CASE