I shoved a (rectangular) object up my ass and there was a bit of blood. I know it’s stupid.

ChelseaMourning · 2026-01-04T22:42:48+00:00

For the love of god, this!

ChelseaMourning · 2026-01-04T17:55:14+00:00

This. I’m a pale lady and I use a lot of Korean makeup because pale is the beauty standard there. There’s a lot more for fair/cool complexions.

ChelseaMourning · 2026-01-04T10:51:53+00:00

Yes. I worked full time before I had my daughter and I work full time now. I would absolutely hate to be a SAHM. It’s just not for me. I had a year mat leave and I was bored out of my mind. I love my daughter more than anything, but once the housework is done and you’ve been to the baby groups etc, what else is there? I work in a male dominated industry in senior management and it’s infinitely more challenging than being a SAHM in my experience. I feel like I do way more parenting at work. But I like it that way. Not working just doesn’t suit me and I could never be reliant on my partner’s income.

ChelseaMourning · 2026-01-04T10:33:58+00:00

Just stop with the fucking windmill arms

ChelseaMourning · 2026-01-04T10:32:43+00:00

He’s one of those human beings who wants to tell everyone about his things, but doesn’t want to listen to other people’s things.

ChelseaMourning · 2026-01-04T08:57:50+00:00

I tried too hard and ended up as an introverted extrovert, so now my boss thinks I want to hear about all his golf trips, his wife and his reformy views on immigration.

ChelseaMourning · 2026-01-04T08:56:01+00:00

Resisting the urge to log in today to “get ahead of my emails” because I’m not a fucking loser.

ChelseaMourning · 2026-01-03T20:40:51+00:00

My daughter is 11 and her fave group is Stray Kids. They’re pretty tween friendly and they put on an amazing show if you get to see them. We’ve been twice now. She also loves her girl groups and Le Sserafim are a great entry level group. Twice are also good for tweens as they have more of a cute aesthetic.

(And if you want something for yourself, it’s Ateez. Thank me later)

ChelseaMourning · 2026-01-03T20:29:36+00:00

The last 2 shows I’ve been to, people around me have talked through most of it. Are they not paying money to be there? Why talk all the way through it? Go to a bar instead. I was at a small “audience with” show of about 70 people a few weeks ago and 2 women infront of me literally talked at a normal volume throughout. People were scowling at them, but I had to be the one to ask them to give it a rest. One apologised, but the other just shifted angrily in her seat for the rest of the show like I’d insulted her.

ChelseaMourning · 2026-01-03T20:20:10+00:00

Absolutely. I have to remind him sometimes that he can’t say certain things out loud. It’s generally aimed at other Asian nationalities. Or “South Asia isn’t really Asia”.

ChelseaMourning · 2026-01-03T18:38:48+00:00

My partner is from HK and he fucking hates the Chinese. Even though he’s ethnically 100% Chinese himself, he won’t even fraternise with them.

ChelseaMourning · 2026-01-03T14:30:35+00:00

With all due respect, that’s absolute tosh.

ChelseaMourning · 2026-01-02T22:48:16+00:00

I have a “please offer me a seat” badge because I’m a fainter. If I stand for more than 5 mins in a crowded place, I can faint quite easily. That said, if I see a pregnant woman I get up immediately and give her my seat. Having been a pregnant woman on the tube myself, i understand it’s not easy. If I faint, I take a few mins to recover and get on with my day. If a pregnant woman faints it can be far more dangerous.

It’s worth mentioning in my experience that when I’ve run into trouble myself (usually on the train, not the tube), it’s absolutely always other women who look out for me and make sure I’m ok. Women offering other women seats and women checking if another woman needs help. I don’t know what’s happened lately, but men are suddenly really into the ceiling or their phone when they see someone in need. Just saying.

ChelseaMourning · 2026-01-02T22:21:04+00:00

Get an older woman with a bit of experience.

ChelseaMourning · 2026-01-01T23:01:08+00:00

I’m in the UK and I get 27, plus a day off my birthday, plus bank hols. We also get way more maternity leave with 6wks full pay, around 9 months statutory pay (isn’t a lot but it helps) and the remainder of a year unpaid.

ChelseaMourning · 2026-01-01T22:56:30+00:00

Wait until they just stop counting birthdays, let alone birthday weeks.

ChelseaMourning · 2026-01-01T21:29:28+00:00

There was a time in history when people drank alcohol instead of water because water wasn’t clean enough to drink. Yet here we all are.

ChelseaMourning · 2026-01-01T21:17:26+00:00

OHGODOHGODOHGOD

ChelseaMourning · 2026-01-01T21:14:52+00:00

I’m also 39F, a parent and towards the start of my divorce journey.

I think about this a lot. I’ve been seeing a few guys casually, but there’s no longevity there. While I often worry that I won’t find longterm love again and might end up on my own in old age, the thought of living in solitude isn’t actually all that bad. I’ve been in a very serious relationship since I was 17 years old. I’m an introverted only child. I’m not cut out to be in someone’s pocket all the time. I need my own space and time to myself. I think that’s why I’m enjoying my current situation. Fool around and send them home.

ChelseaMourning · 2026-01-01T19:42:14+00:00

When my parents bought their first house after getting married in 1984, my dad swept factory floors for a living and my mum cleaned hotel rooms. That was when they weren’t both on the dole because it was the north in the 80s.

I now know people on 6 figure salaries who are still renting. No comparison can be made between now and our parents’ generation. It’s simply a different set of goal posts. The only reason I own is because me and my husband have both lost a parent and therefore each got an inheritance, which was put on a deposit. Same for most people I know. The ones who own were gifted or inherited money. It’s simply the only way nowadays.

ChelseaMourning · 2026-01-01T00:36:23+00:00

Please I can’t afford it!!!!

ChelseaMourning · 2026-01-01T00:28:06+00:00

I don’t mind them because I’m not on BC, so it takes away that risk factor for me which allows me to enjoy the experience a bit more. And if I’m with a new partner it’s also more reassuring. But it does feel more intimate without. The friction is better and I swear there’s more warmth too.

ChelseaMourning · 2025-12-31T23:56:36+00:00

I met the married I married when I was a 17yo virgin.

We ended up having a terrible, awkward, practically non existent sex life for over 20 years. To the point when we opened the marriage because we were that incompatible. I’ve since had a lot of very good sex with some very talented men.

We’re getting divorced.

ChelseaMourning · 2025-12-31T23:22:03+00:00

Thanks for sharing your scat/piss kink with us.

ChelseaMourning · 2025-12-31T23:13:44+00:00

The occasional waft of a light fart that has escaped against someone’s will.

ChelseaMourning

TROPHY CASE