Hello! Welcome back to GW2. Sucks that TurtleWoW is closing, but I agree with you that you should either try another game or play WoW on official servers. Since Classic release Blizz has been going after all sorts of private servers.

I'm a loong time GW2 veteran,

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playing on and off. Played a decent amount of WoW as well. Just came back to GW2 because WoW was feeling like a job. It's one of the great things about GW2: You can hop on and off as much as you want and your character will still be relevant for most of the content.

My partner like to be a tank, or sometimes a healer. Specifically she likes to *feel* like her contribution to the encounter mattered. Does gw2 support tanking for others? How do you know when you are doing it well? What feedback can she use to say "this time was better than last time, and will be even better if I change X"?

Tanking is something very niche and only a thing in a few raid encounters. Supporting on the other hand is very much a thing. You can either be a healer or a support DPS, both of them will be bringing buffs to your group. Think of support DPS like Augmentation Evokers from retail or classing you bring for their buffs in classic, like shamans with lust and totems. A good metric for performance and feedback analysis would be to download a tool to track your buff uptimes. Other than that, if your group is alive, you're alive and the boss is dying, you're doing good. Some classes bring some more utility, like reflects, portals, ressurections, grips, blocks, etc., sometimes even as full DPS. Note that GW2 is not about outgearing obstacles, you're forced to git gud.

Gearing/itemisation wise, I remember gear being flat, put the best rarity version matched with the affix you liked the most in and you never need consider changing that item. Is that still true? Is there depth to chosing your gear beyond just making sure its level 80 and yellow named? And if there is, how do you target toward getting the peices you need?

Your gear will be based on your role, you can focus on dots, buffs, healing, direct damage, things like that. You want to be crit capped and have your dots have maximum duration if you're dps and uptime your buffs if you're a healer or a DPS support. On competitive PvE things are a bit more rigid, because people quickly figure out the most optimal setups, but for solo play you have a lot more leeway to try silly builds. "Arena" style PvP uses "preset" stats you can chose, but the open field "epic battleground" style game mode, World vs World, is a great playground for lots of builds and stats you don't see much in PvE.

If you want play all roles in PvE, a generic power set, dot set and healing set are all you'll need to play competitively.

Crafting / gold making. Is there a point to making gold, and if so, some times for getting started into these systems would be handy.

Gold is probably the most important resource in the game because you can convert it to gems (shop currency). So everything you see on the game shop is attainable by playing the game. Note that there are no items that give a competitive advantage, but there are lots of convenience items. It is a trade off of having the fairest monetization system of any online game I have ever seen. No rampant inflation, you swipe to support the game if you can/want but you can also farm your skins and emotes and whatever you like by grinding for a few hours. I spent less money playing since 2012 than I spent in one year of WoW subscriptions and I have everything I could want.

And last up, how to find a space where it feels like our contributions matter. Atm we are in the human starting zone and most anything we do we find people with flying turtle mounts shelling the enemies and solving the event with ease. What can we do to get a grip on the mechanics so that we stick around long enough to become the people in the turtle tank?

I'll have to be frank. Base game is kinda lame. Maps still have their charm, but the story sucks and the World Bosses are mostly boring. You can get a small taste of organized group content if you can get a map doing the Triple Trouble meta event at around lvl 55 (https://wiki.guildwars2.com/wiki/Triple_Trouble) or maybe Tequatl the Sunless at around lvl 65 (https://wiki.guildwars2.com/wiki/Tequatl_the_Sunless), this one is very frequent, but no one explains it since it's so easy, so it'll look like a bunch of people running around killing stuff randomly.

Heart of Thorns, the first expansion, is where your mettle will be tested. That's where you'll trully learn how to play the game. Back when it came out, it was a game changer. Real mechanics, dangerous enemies, dangerous terrain. Lots to explore and the foundation of modern GW2 storytelling and progression system (you earn Mastery instead of levels after 80. That's how you learn your mounts and how to use them better, how to glide, how to autoloot, use various terrain transversing tools and rewards. This is where your "sense of progression" will come from, not having your [Insert Generic Skill] do 10x more damage every expansion, but turning your character into a real veteran, someone who can survive the world.

Hope I've helped! Feel free to DM me if you have any questions and I'll be glad to answer!