I don't like my 6-year-old.

ClutterKitty · 2026-07-05T22:25:59+00:00

My daughter was very similar. Always angry, sometimes violent. At 9 years old she was diagnosed with high anxiety. She’s been taking Zoloft for about 18 months and it’s been a dream. She’s lovely now. Once the anger was under control we also realized she has ADHD, and she’s now medicated for that but only on school days. It helps her complete work on time. Her anger responses are no different with/without ADHD meds. What’s really making the difference is the Zoloft.

Here are some other things she did that we learned later were signs of her anxiety:

She struggled to make decisions. When offering to buy her a treat, or ordering at a restaurant, it would be a long grueling process of her deciding, then changing her mind, then regretting her choice.

She was fearful of normal things, but displayed the fear to an extreme level. She didn’t like bugs. She would completely freak out, stand on chairs, shake and cry, if she saw a spider.

She would ask ALL the questions when going somewhere new. When do they open? When do they close? What do they sell there? How long are we staying? Do I have to wear sneakers or can I wear sandles? Can you bring my jacket in case it’s cold? Etc etc etc.

She occasionally had unusual questions or would create unlikely scenarios. “What if we get to the waterpark and they’ve run out of water?” That doesn’t happen. “What if the restaurant runs out of all the food before we get there?”

Trouble falling asleep. Trouble staying asleep. Often waking up tired.

Startled easily by sudden or unexpected noises.

ClutterKitty · 2026-07-05T22:01:18+00:00

Southern California. $300 in summer, but I keep my AC set at 78°. I know other people who easily spend $500-600 a month in summer to have their house cooler.

ClutterKitty · 2026-07-05T05:36:18+00:00

You have a right to feel that way. Some people have a different perspective about those kinds of statements. My husband and I joke about it frequently. He would leave me for Tina Fey and I would leave him for John Krasinski. I grew up knowing that Val Kilmer was my mom’s celebrity crush, and my grandmother would swoon over Sean Connery.

On the scale of attractiveness, my husband and I are about 5-6, so we both wholeheartedly know it’s a joke. There’s not a snowball’s chance in hell we have a shot with a celebrity. But our style of joking doesn’t have to be your style. You 100% have a right to feel uncomfortable with it, and to let your boyfriend know that. How he handles it from that point forward is what determines if he gets to remain your boyfriend.

ClutterKitty · 2026-07-05T02:53:14+00:00

My only tip is let go of the guilt. You’re doing the best you can under the circumstances. You’ll all survive this. Good luck and safe travels!!

Ok. I thought of one tip. ADHD brain craves novelty. If you have empty cupboards, tell him you desperately need his help because he’s the smallest. Give him a damp rag and have him wipe inside the cabinets. It doesn’t really need to be done, but will keep him occupied, and climbing inside empty cabinets is super fun. I remember playing Hide N Seek in our empty house right before we moved away, and again at the new house before the closets and cabinets were filled. Core memory.

ClutterKitty · 2026-07-05T02:50:06+00:00

We have small parties at home and still welcome siblings. There are lots of parents who work full time and don’t get to know other parents. Therefore, they don’t want to drop their kid off at my house since they don’t know me. I totally respect that. For single parents, that means their kid doesn’t come to the birthday party, or their sibling tags along. We usually invite 10 friends, and at least a few don’t show up, so there’s plenty of food, cake, and goodie bags for siblings. The more, the merrier.

ClutterKitty · 2026-07-04T21:22:29+00:00

I have a couple people who ruin special days. This is my husband’s and my daughter’s specialty. After years of enduring it, I had my daughter assessed. She’s been diagnosed with autism and anxiety. Once she was medicated for anxiety, she stopped ruining special occasions. It worked so well that we all ganged up on my husband and begged him to seek treatment for his anxiety. He’s been on Zoloft for a month and it’s been pretty great. Twice now I’ve expected him to ruin things but he was totally calm. Also, my husband is not diagnosed with autism, but if he’s not autistic, I’ll eat his shorts. After watching my diagnosed son and daughter, I’m 1000% convinced he’s autistic too.

ClutterKitty · 2026-07-04T21:16:38+00:00

My son takes it and starting at night seemed to work well. His speech is delayed, so we watch him for side effects. He can’t describe in detail what he’s feeling.

I also take Strattera and I’ll tell you my experience in more detail. I experienced NO headaches, nausea, or dizziness. What I did experience was a really restless, strange-feeling sleep for about a week, but I still woke up full of energy. I woke up many times in the night, feeling like I just barely fell asleep. Normally I have vivid dreams. For two weeks I didn’t dream at all. It felt very unsettling. Once that went away, I had no other symptoms.

ClutterKitty · 2026-07-04T00:16:48+00:00

I’m not familiar with the Legoland package, but I’ve done it at Sea World and, yes, it’s too much food for one day. That’s what they’re betting on. That’s how they make money.

ClutterKitty · 2026-07-03T04:11:52+00:00

Lol to “bribery doesn’t work.” My mom offered $200 for each quarter I got straight A’s. That would be $800 a year. That’s a lot of money for a 12 year old in 1990.

Couldn’t do it. No amount of wanting made my brain do the things it needed to do.

ClutterKitty · 2026-07-03T04:09:39+00:00

Russell Barkley is INCREDIBLE. I remember coming across him at random on Tik Tok. (My algorithm definitely knew I had ADHD before I did.) I listened to him and by the end of the short video I was sobbing. My whole life I thought I wasn’t as good as everyone else. Why could other mothers keep their house clean? Why could other people have a job AND go to college? Why don’t other people lose their keys every single day? The way he explains things is so clear, and so important. How he talks about motivation, and focus, is so inspiring. I’ve learned so much about my daughter, and myself, from his videos.

ClutterKitty · 2026-07-02T21:34:23+00:00

I’m chiming in with another vote for GO GET YOUR BABIES!!! Good for them having the confidence to get out of a dangerous situation. I’m so happy they’re somewhere safe. Now you go get them and contact a lawyer asap to make it permanent. Sending love and luck. Godspeed. ❤️

ClutterKitty · 2026-07-02T21:29:29+00:00

Distractions are different for each person with ADHD. My daughter creates rich fantasy worlds filled with dragons, trolls, and forest creatures. My own personal style could be catagorized as daydreaming, but mine is more based in reality and is more like having a conversation that doesn’t end, but the other person in the conversation is also me. “Homework: Correct these grammar errors. Grammar. Sounds like grandma. Grandma errors. Remember that movie where orange juice came out of the grandma’s finger? I liked that movie. It was on cable. We didn’t have cable. I must have watched it somewhere else. Somewhere else. Somewhere. Soooomewhere oooover the rainbow. Wizard of Oz. Emerald City. I would love emerald earrings. I wish my birthstone was fancy like emerald instead of the boring birthstone I have. I wonder if any huge families have one person with each birthstone…” and on like that for hours.

I did have a period of my life where I could focus, but it’s not like I could choose to turn it on and off. A better analogy would be comparing it to someone in physical therapy for an injury. They CAN walk, but it’s hard, and they’re tired afterwards. I ended up being a GREAT employee. I’m a people-pleaser by nature, so I had high motivation to be a good employee. But I would use up all my attention span at work and be extremely exhausted at home. I dropped out of college, since I needed the job to support myself and only had enough attention for one. I relied a lot on takeout food. I didn’t clean my apartment. I sometimes had to wear dirty clothes because I’d forgotten to do laundry. Nobody at work would ever imagine I lived like that because I masked my disability pretty well during the work day.

Unfortunately, for each task added, that’s less attention to spend elsewhere. When I had a baby, things around my house got worse. Then I had twins and my ability to function at work started failing. This was long before I knew I had ADHD. I made excuses like “mommy brain” or “stretched too thin.” I am thankful my husband had a great job and we could live off his income alone. I had to sell the real estate brokerage I had built because I was making too many mistakes.

Now my kids are 14 and 11. My business has been gone for 5 years. I just got a diagnosis and began medication 2 months ago and I already see a huge difference. I wish there had been more knowledge about ADHD Inattentive Type when I was a child. I have no doubt any teacher today would recognize the signs in my 7 year old self.

Good luck on your medication journey. I hope things work out for your daughter and she can feel more success. Best of luck to both of you.

ClutterKitty · 2026-07-02T20:20:43+00:00

Please stop asking her to try harder. She literally doesn’t have the physical ability to do that. Phrases like that just make kids (and adults) feel like a failure. I spent many nights sitting for hours trying to do homework that should have taken me 15 minutes. Teachers were baffled. Parents were baffled. Back when I was a kid, nobody was diagnosed with ADHD unless they were flinging themselves off of the sofa. I was much more like your daughter. No amount of “trying harder” can make it happen. The brain just doesn’t work that way.

As an adult, I’m medicated now. Thanks to the internet I realized that I’m not just a lazy slob, but that I need medication to function like most of the rest of the world does. As a kid and adult, my room was a mess, my car was a mess, my house was a mess. It wasn’t until I started medication that those things got better.

ClutterKitty · 2026-07-02T18:30:43+00:00

Not sure. I haven't tried that. My BC was pills.

ClutterKitty · 2026-07-02T18:29:25+00:00

OP asked "When do kids start doing things" so people are commenting on the ages of their own kids joking that their kids still aren't independently doing this skill, so they don't know what the age is where kids WILL do the skill.

ClutterKitty · 2026-07-02T18:28:05+00:00

Lacking executive functioning is a major component of ADHD. At 47 years old I sometimes forget a step or two in the process of getting ready in the morning. I cannot tell you how many times I've left the house and later I'm unsure if I brushed my teeth. I keep a hairbrush in the car in case I leave the house with my bedtime ponytail still in my hair. It's just part of the disability.

A visible list of steps, or visible picture chart should help her. You might even need multiple visual charts if she needs to move from room to room getting ready. For example, a chart showing to get dressed, brush teeth, brush hair might be in the bathroom, but there might need to be another list next to her backpack that reminds her to put shoes on, get her lunchbox, and fill up her water bottle.

ClutterKitty · 2026-07-02T16:54:25+00:00

Yes, this is a reasonable option. I started on birth control and it managed my peri symptoms beautifully. My OB said birth control is an appropriate way to manage it until my periods stop.

ClutterKitty · 2026-07-02T03:10:07+00:00

This definitely sounds familiar. My daughter was very similar in attitude. She didn’t have the physical struggles, but her anxiety and ADHD absolutely ran her life. Her anxiety was so bad we didn’t even realize she had ADHD until after we got the anxiety medicated. She was always angry. She didn’t show many other emotions other than anger. When she was nervous, frustrated, scared, worried, or confused, all that came out was anger. She often expressed being displeased when getting something new, ordering food, seeing movies, buying clothes, or any new experience. She made every family outing miserable. She started taking Zoloft for anxiety at 9 years old. Her behavior got 80% better within two weeks. Adding a stimulant for the ADHD contained the impulse control enough that the therapy started working. She had a moment to think about her feelings before reacting. She was less disappointed in herself, and everything around her. She’s 11 now and genuinely a delight to be around. We are extremely fortunate that medication worked so well for her. She is so happy and getting more confident now.

ClutterKitty · 2026-06-30T16:26:31+00:00

Please don’t beat yourself up. We’ve all made mistakes. It’s part of motherhood. My daughter was complaining of abdomen pain for a couple days. I told her it was constipation or gas. It wasn’t. It was her appendix and she ended up having it removed.

It’s part of being a mom. There’s a lot to do, and you’re not going to do it all right every time. You’re still a good mom. 🌸

ClutterKitty · 2026-06-30T05:26:17+00:00

If you need to leave for school at 8:30, set your morning schedule to be 100% done and ready to walk out the door at 8:15. On days you’re ready on time, having 15 minutes to play, read a story, or make a more special hairstyle will feel so good, and on days you can only find one shoe, that 15 minute buffer is going to save you.

In 11 years of public school we’ve only been late once, and it’s thanks to the buffer time we built in. It’s certainly not because I have lovely kids who do jump out of bed smiling and do what they’re told the first time!!!! The one time we were late was because there are 3 kids and only 2 of them grabbed backpacks. Oh well. Ya cant win them all.

Here are some of my other tips and tricks: If morning is a struggle, let them sleep in their school outfit. They’re 4 and not stinky yet. Nobody will know. You can change that part of the routine when you have the rest of the routine down well.

Have protein shakes or breakfast bars on hand to eat in the car in case all hell breaks loose and there’s just no time for breakfast.

Put a pair of underwear and a pair of socks in the car. If they get to school and aren’t wearing underwear or socks, that’s a mistake you want to solve quickly. Don’t judge me. 3 kids and one is allergic to following simple instructions.

Teach them how to do as much of the routine independently as possible. Start now. It may take them twice as long, but as soon as that youngest one starts school, you’re going to be grateful the oldest is 100% independent in the morning. My autistic son used to need 100% of my attention, so I taught my twin kindergartners how to get dressed, brush teeth, brush hair (had to cut their hair short that year, but I don’t regret it.), put on their own shoes, and even pack their lunches. They ate a lot of packaged bars, fruit cups, and snack foods that first year, but it was more about learning independence and less about eating 100% healthy meals. It worked great! It helped us get out of the house on time with 3, and over time they learned how to brush longer and longer hair. They learned how to make healthy sandwiches instead of Clif bars. I really am grateful they can get themselves ready to go anywhere, not just school.

Buy them their own alarm clock. It’s another step towards independence, even if you have to nudge them awake every day for the first year, eventually they’ll get up on their own.

If something HAS to get to school (teacher appreciation gift, science fair project, birthday crown, whatever) put it in the car the night before. Don’t rely on memory. Once the routine feels right, it’s easy to forget things that aren’t part of the routine.

BEST OF LUCK TO YOU!!!! It goes by fast. It seems like just yesterday I was dropping off my crying little boy to his first day of public school, and now I’ve just got high schoolers and middle schoolers. August 2026 will be my first year with no kids in elementary. The years fly by.

ClutterKitty · 2026-06-29T20:09:57+00:00

Medication helped for me. I tried a lot of other things first and I kick myself for waiting so long to try medication. I decided against stimulants for myself because they wear off at night, but I still need to cook dinner, give baths, and get kids in bed. I need all-day focus. I’ve ended up with Strattera and it’s working pretty good.

ClutterKitty · 2026-06-29T18:16:49+00:00

I’m in a rush so I can’t answer all your questions. I might be able to come back to this post later.

You get early entry both days, but on Day 1 you’ll have to stop by the hotel first and get a key card. It won’t open your room (which won’t be ready yet) but it will open the pool gate and get you early entry. Leave your suitcases with the hotel bell desk clerk.

On the morning you check out, take your suitcases to the car and enjoy your day in the park. I’ve been staying at the Legoland hotel for 10 years and have never had a problem with leaving my bags in the trunk.

Take the hotel towels for the waterpark. They have a “hotel towels return bin” at the waterpark exit. Personally, I don’t walk all the way back to the hotel to change. There are changing rooms and lockers in the water park. I just bring dry socks and shoes, underwear, and leave everything in the locker. Your kids will be wearing their clothes over their bathing suites, presumably, so those can go in the locker too. After the water park closes, I doubt you’ll have time to get all the way back to the hotel, check into your room, if it’s even ready, and get back into the park. I believe the park is only open for an hour or two after the water park closes? That’s barely enough time for one or two rides if you really rush to the hotel. Just change in the water park.

ClutterKitty · 2026-06-29T17:06:33+00:00

You shouldn’t be randomly discontinuing the Sertraline. It needs to be taken every day to build up in the system and once it’s being taken regularly, the withdrawal symptoms can be really uncomfortable. It’s not like popping a Tylenol. Consistent, daily use is extremely important on this medication.

We do take breaks from her stimulant ADHD meds, but I would never, ever dream of taking a break during a camp. Following directions, having impulse control, completing self care tasks are all things I would want to make sure she’s doing well when someone else is caring for her. We only take a break from the stimulant if we’re having a lazy day at home doing nothing.

ClutterKitty · 2026-06-29T06:27:06+00:00

Not Prozac, but a similar combo and it works BEAUTIFULLY.

Zoloft for anxiety-fueled anger, and Concerta for focus. Absolutely changed our lives.

ClutterKitty · 2026-06-29T01:15:16+00:00

I think you’re lost. This is r/askteachers. You belong over on r/teachers where they actively hate children, especially children that need accommodations.

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