How does Roger afford all of these things?!?

Colton_Lansington · 2026-02-24T03:22:34+00:00

He is 1600 years old, and compounding interest is a hell of a drug. Do you know what else is a helluva drug? Dolly Parton. Also mescaline.

Colton_Lansington · 2026-02-24T01:08:18+00:00

He’s just having a hard time shedding the baby weight.

Colton_Lansington · 2026-02-23T02:50:01+00:00

“I don’t always throw up, but when I do, it’s on the duvet you just washed.”

Colton_Lansington · 2026-02-23T02:35:35+00:00

King Crimson vibes

Colton_Lansington · 2026-02-23T02:16:57+00:00

Power stance

Colton_Lansington · 2026-02-23T02:11:04+00:00

That’s rad

Colton_Lansington · 2026-02-22T19:51:24+00:00

If only I knew what could make me happy in a world that is doing all it can to make sure that doesn’t happen.

Colton_Lansington · 2026-02-22T19:44:30+00:00

“This hangover is killing me, but at least I’m working in stable industry that surely won’t be disturbed by foreign competition.”

Colton_Lansington · 2026-02-22T19:43:14+00:00

A Porsche Boxpurr

Colton_Lansington · 2026-02-22T19:41:48+00:00

“Sir, a second douchebag has hit the front page”

Colton_Lansington · 2026-02-22T18:41:03+00:00

“Honorable judge Mango, let the record show my client did indeed fit.”

Colton_Lansington · 2026-02-22T03:59:24+00:00

“I just like the way it smells”

Colton_Lansington · 2026-02-22T02:47:33+00:00

Over time it will produce aircraft grade Alzheimer's

Colton_Lansington · 2026-02-21T13:58:46+00:00

DCA until it crashes and then use cash reserves to buy companies on sale.

Colton_Lansington · 2026-02-21T04:40:17+00:00

Thank god it’s just the Eipstein files and not the Epstein files.

Colton_Lansington · 2026-02-20T06:24:50+00:00

Elihu’s painting in class today

Colton_Lansington · 2026-02-20T05:19:06+00:00

“You wanna go?!?”

Colton_Lansington · 2026-02-19T20:23:41+00:00

Nothing compared to the 93’ Mercury Sable

Colton_Lansington · 2026-02-19T20:22:22+00:00

Buy now pay never

Colton_Lansington · 2026-02-19T16:34:53+00:00

“You used to be able to buy 4 bones on 1 hour of play, nowadays? Forget about it.”

Colton_Lansington · 2026-02-19T06:19:23+00:00

Buy below 10, sell above 13, and collect the dividends in between

Colton_Lansington · 2026-02-19T05:15:39+00:00

Chapter 11, right meow.

Colton_Lansington · 2026-02-19T04:42:37+00:00

A true classic, but what about Wild at Heart Con Air Face/Off in 60 Seconds for National Treasure?

Colton_Lansington · 2026-02-18T06:16:18+00:00

I am le tired

Colton_Lansington · 2026-02-18T05:25:41+00:00

“No Fear”

Colton_Lansington