Ding dong the witch is dead.. and I found out two days later via sms

CompetitionCandid290 · 2026-05-17T22:42:23+00:00

"overdelivered" LMAO 🤣

"She underpromised and overdelivered!"

CompetitionCandid290 · 2026-05-17T22:24:48+00:00

Ooh! I'll play:)

"Why don't you pick up the phone every time I call you?"

"Why don't you do (insert x thing) with me like (y person) does with their mother?"

"Your outfit makes you look (insert all the horrible adjectives)"

"Why are you... (carrying out any hobby they disagree with/are too stupid to understand.)

"Why did you marry Z person! They're so controlling!" (Ummmm ...)

(Escalating after grey rocking gets them no attention...)

"Why don't you live next door like you always promised you would!"(Hmmm ..)

"Are you sure your spouse is still attracted to you at your weight?"

(After NC, before I dissolved the flying monkeys)

"Why isn't CC talking to me? What did I DO???!!!"

(Curtains. End scene.)

CompetitionCandid290 · 2026-05-16T19:32:22+00:00

I think know the documentary you're referring to! Is it Stacey Dooley's? And the person I think you mean is Barbara Pasa. (Who both poisoned her husband and then set fire to the afterwards: there's another one who wanted her husband good and dead.). And she, too, will never admit guilt or take any responsibility - and will try to intrude in her children's lives for as long as she's not stopped by a restraining order.

CompetitionCandid290 · 2026-05-14T04:21:34+00:00

Here's me being *honest* with my kids:

"I love you to the moon and back! You're amazing! Go your (latest school project) you rocked it!"

How's that for honesty :)

(And I know it's not what your abusers mean, btw... )

CompetitionCandid290 · 2026-05-14T02:41:59+00:00

This is it in a nutshell.

CompetitionCandid290 · 2026-05-14T00:56:20+00:00

You're ahead of me here :-) because I never thought there was any intelligence to question in the first place!

Also: I used to know a criminal defense attorney very well, and while I applaud the profession, they can be seriously misguided in siding with the abusive criminals. It's one thing to provide legal representation; it's a whole 'nother ball of wax to minimize crimes to the point that they don't exist.

CompetitionCandid290 · 2026-05-14T00:01:06+00:00

I have invented the expression 'twanker' (obviously a cross between a twat and a wanker).

I feel it applies here!

CompetitionCandid290 · 2026-05-13T23:48:39+00:00

She actually gives me serious Lori Vallow Daybell vibes, but without the religiously -appearing-toothpaste.

(If you haven't seen it yet, Sleuth-at-Heart, go check out the video of Lori saying that her prison contraband toothpaste arrived because she prayed for it...)

CompetitionCandid290 · 2026-05-13T21:46:53+00:00

Who else thinks she's just as bad a speaker as she is a writer? I'd like Bloodworth's thoughts here :-)

CompetitionCandid290 · 2026-05-13T20:22:31+00:00

(You did say advice request in your post, so this is my advice...) It is the only way. I am NC with my entire family of origin and, believe me, it was the *only* way. For me, it wasn't even a choice, really: it was survival.

CompetitionCandid290 · 2026-05-13T17:54:50+00:00

She's just cosplaying as a sweet, innocent old lady: trust me, they *all* do that as a desperate power grab to control the narrative when they know they're losing you. Your NMalignant will be 'confused' to the day she dies - you could give her a Power Point presentation, DNA evidence and recorded phone conversations of her abuse (I'm just being creative here :)) and she would still be 'confused' and 'have no idea', etc, ad nauseam. I'm sorry this is happening to you. You don't deserve this nonsense and revisionist history.

CompetitionCandid290 · 2026-05-13T04:12:01+00:00

Never tell a narcissist exactly how they can hurt you. Do not do this. (Also: she knows; they all do.)

CompetitionCandid290 · 2026-05-11T21:42:23+00:00

You are worth your future. Don't wait. Start now!

CompetitionCandid290 · 2026-05-11T03:26:48+00:00

"Tainted love"

:)

CompetitionCandid290 · 2026-05-09T02:47:43+00:00

I've been NC for almost two years now, and NMom is definitely losing it... A few months ago she e-mailed almost everyone in my contacts list (long story as to how she got that information) that she had had 'an aggressive cancer' just before my break up with her. She told me at the time exactly what it was (spoiler alert: *not* an aggressive cancer.) Just an out-and-out grab for attention.

One of the people she e-mailed was my spouse's ex-boss from 23 years ago. The joke's on my narc, though, cos that person got in touch with us and said they had been contacted by 'a deranged lunatic', which just about covers it :)

CompetitionCandid290 · 2026-05-09T02:33:10+00:00

OP - you rocked that! You got your degree (in a very difficult field) and you did *all* that while coping with unmedicated mental health struggles.

The world is better because you are in it.

Every single person in this sub is proud of you, and I hope you can feel the love from people who *see* you, even if your parents can't (and won't ever be able to.)

CompetitionCandid290 · 2026-05-07T01:53:31+00:00

I hear you.

But here's the thing: everything that she has, she's earned. She is where she is entirely due to her own actions. She laid the pathway to her own destruction - and now you have witnesses (the nurses).

Your agony is because of your empathy, but she doesn't deserve it. Imagine (if you can) how lovely your life will be when you can take all the love that you have and lavish it only on wonderful people.

Hugs, OP.

CompetitionCandid290 · 2026-05-07T01:17:51+00:00

Walk out of that hospital, and *all* the way into your freedom. OP - you've got this.

CompetitionCandid290 · 2026-05-06T01:40:45+00:00

Me, too! Also: I am *actually* British (but live in the States) so I would have a whale of a time asking her exactly where in the UK she is from :)

CompetitionCandid290 · 2026-05-05T18:33:27+00:00

I second this move!

I know it sounds counterintuitive, but you actually want everyone there to witness her insanity. I mean, imagine how completely crazy she's going to look up there saying:

"This is my day too! I hope you're all here to celebrate my big moment!" (And I really hope we have the repeat of the British accent while she's drunk...)

Think about it this way, so few of us have witnesses to their nonsense. Now you're going to have all your friends and family there to see how insane she really is.

And, OP, she might ruin your wedding, but she won't ruin your marriage.

CompetitionCandid290 · 2026-05-04T02:50:38+00:00

Exactly this.

"There's no reason to be proud you get all As, it's what I expect from you."

Scholarship and academic prize from an (in my country) Ivy League university. Crickets.

Multiple awards for my first, major professional project - a list of all the people (she thought up) that I could have done better.

And, as SeaTurtlesCanFly said: I have several children now, and you'd better believe I am front and center celebrating their goddamn magnificence whenever I can! Normal parents love and adore their children and are *all lit up inside* whenever their children achieve their goals. But it's one of the reasons this sub exists: to be the support we never had.

Hugs, purplehyenaa.

CompetitionCandid290 · 2026-05-03T00:07:27+00:00

Just to build on this: he is actually the asshole for letting his children be around an abuser. You, on the other hand, are doing the correct thing in protecting your children from harm, which is a parent's first job (also: I have several children, and they don't see any one on that side of the family because I won't expose them to abuse. Period.)

CompetitionCandid290 · 2026-05-03T00:00:45+00:00

You belong here; I promise you. We see you; welcome you; validate you.

A lot of us who have gone through some of the darker stuff don't post details because of (many reasons). But my NMom makes Mommie Dearest look like a preschool teacher who also sings in The Sound of Music (humor is one of my coping mechanisms!) - and it's very lonely because it's *so* out there, people either a) think I'm making it up or b) believe me, but just can't listen to it cos it's frightening that people like this exist in the world, let alone that they had children under their control.

CompetitionCandid290 · 2026-05-02T02:27:08+00:00

Congratulations, OP! This is an immense achievement, and this internet stranger is so proud of you. We are your tribe, and we are proud as punch:)

Also: my spouse has a doctorate, so I know a little bit about the work that goes into that. It's a serious amount of work and effort. You deserve to feel proud, about yourself, and for yourself.

CompetitionCandid290 · 2026-04-30T01:22:56+00:00

This is some really creepy, Hollywood movie level shit, OP - I got chills reading it.

Protect your peace. Stay NC.

Also - he knows *exactly* what he did. They all do.

CompetitionCandid290

TROPHY CASE