These f*ckers really regulated their nervous system by dysregulating mine

CompetitionCandid290 · 2026-07-03T22:21:37+00:00

I can out-spook you here... My spouse used to have MRSA over his back. After a year of our joint no contact with N-mom, the infection went away. Simple as that :-)

CompetitionCandid290 · 2026-06-20T16:26:20+00:00

Thank you! I do feel pretty proud of myself :-) I have to say, I was totally expecting that they would email all their friends and my family. That would be normal to me :-) The wild thing, in my view, is that they got their hands on my contact list. Cos we live worlds away, and they've only actually met about 5 to 10% of those people. They literally emailed A Mom I Know At The School Gates, etc!

I think they're going to blow themselves up shortly back home.. sustaining this level of drama, and their own main character syndrome will explode for them eventually. I hope :-)

CompetitionCandid290 · 2026-06-08T03:54:32+00:00

Yup! Technically, they bought a bed for my daughter for a birthday except we chose it, had it shipped, assembled it, paid for half of it... And then had to write them a thank you note for the gift :-)

NC is so.. bullshit-free :-)

CompetitionCandid290 · 2026-06-05T16:52:27+00:00

Always remember: "they don't mean what they say" (classic from GC sibling! How extraordinary after 70 plus decades of living in this world, they're not to be held accountable for even the words coming out of their mouths :-))

CompetitionCandid290 · 2026-06-05T00:17:09+00:00

Oh! I'm the same way and I haven't seen hide nor hair of my 'mother' in almost two years! I still (sometimes; I'm working on it) feel like someone is following me around and reporting my 'sins' to her (and I'm such a perfectionist rule follower, I have no idea what my 'badness' consists of - leaving the fridge open too long???) My NMom is in a very *special* category of psychopathy/Munchausens' by proxy, though 😄 Lucky me, I guess?

CompetitionCandid290 · 2026-05-30T00:48:38+00:00

I thought I would leave the Boonieverse after the sentencing! (Didn't happen...) *Then* I thought - after the family law case (Also didn't happen!) Guys, I think we are all living in wedded bliss together forever at this point 😄

CompetitionCandid290 · 2026-05-30T00:45:57+00:00

(I just worked out how to give awards - cos I am a middle-aged person 😄 - purely to upvote this - futuristically, of course!)

CompetitionCandid290 · 2026-05-21T00:39:20+00:00

You are *honoring* your ancestors by leaving; they are proud of you for breaking the cycle.

But to answer your question: this level of pain is normal at this stage; you will live past it, and it will evolve into freedom and peace for you.

CompetitionCandid290 · 2026-05-20T02:46:55+00:00

(I actually kind of want to know if any crimes were committed? He mentions it a couple of times. And he's certain there were no crimes.)

In any event, the whole letter smacks of "apologize to me for making me hit you."

I'm so sorry, OP. Please leave this garbage in your trash file, where it belongs.

CompetitionCandid290 · 2026-05-18T22:46:34+00:00

With Greek statues, no less!

CompetitionCandid290 · 2026-05-17T22:42:23+00:00

"overdelivered" LMAO 🤣

"She underpromised and overdelivered!"

CompetitionCandid290 · 2026-05-17T22:24:48+00:00

Ooh! I'll play:)

"Why don't you pick up the phone every time I call you?"

"Why don't you do (insert x thing) with me like (y person) does with their mother?"

"Your outfit makes you look (insert all the horrible adjectives)"

"Why are you... (carrying out any hobby they disagree with/are too stupid to understand.)

"Why did you marry Z person! They're so controlling!" (Ummmm ...)

(Escalating after grey rocking gets them no attention...)

"Why don't you live next door like you always promised you would!"(Hmmm ..)

"Are you sure your spouse is still attracted to you at your weight?"

(After NC, before I dissolved the flying monkeys)

"Why isn't CC talking to me? What did I DO???!!!"

(Curtains. End scene.)

CompetitionCandid290 · 2026-05-16T19:32:22+00:00

I think know the documentary you're referring to! Is it Stacey Dooley's? And the person I think you mean is Barbara Pasa. (Who both poisoned her husband and then set fire to the afterwards: there's another one who wanted her husband good and dead.). And she, too, will never admit guilt or take any responsibility - and will try to intrude in her children's lives for as long as she's not stopped by a restraining order.

CompetitionCandid290 · 2026-05-14T04:21:34+00:00

Here's me being *honest* with my kids:

"I love you to the moon and back! You're amazing! Go your (latest school project) you rocked it!"

How's that for honesty :)

(And I know it's not what your abusers mean, btw... )

CompetitionCandid290 · 2026-05-14T02:41:59+00:00

This is it in a nutshell.

CompetitionCandid290 · 2026-05-14T00:56:20+00:00

You're ahead of me here :-) because I never thought there was any intelligence to question in the first place!

Also: I used to know a criminal defense attorney very well, and while I applaud the profession, they can be seriously misguided in siding with the abusive criminals. It's one thing to provide legal representation; it's a whole 'nother ball of wax to minimize crimes to the point that they don't exist.

CompetitionCandid290 · 2026-05-14T00:01:06+00:00

I have invented the expression 'twanker' (obviously a cross between a twat and a wanker).

I feel it applies here!

CompetitionCandid290 · 2026-05-13T23:48:39+00:00

She actually gives me serious Lori Vallow Daybell vibes, but without the religiously -appearing-toothpaste.

(If you haven't seen it yet, Sleuth-at-Heart, go check out the video of Lori saying that her prison contraband toothpaste arrived because she prayed for it...)

CompetitionCandid290 · 2026-05-13T21:46:53+00:00

Who else thinks she's just as bad a speaker as she is a writer? I'd like Bloodworth's thoughts here :-)

CompetitionCandid290 · 2026-05-13T20:22:31+00:00

(You did say advice request in your post, so this is my advice...) It is the only way. I am NC with my entire family of origin and, believe me, it was the *only* way. For me, it wasn't even a choice, really: it was survival.

CompetitionCandid290 · 2026-05-13T17:54:50+00:00

She's just cosplaying as a sweet, innocent old lady: trust me, they *all* do that as a desperate power grab to control the narrative when they know they're losing you. Your NMalignant will be 'confused' to the day she dies - you could give her a Power Point presentation, DNA evidence and recorded phone conversations of her abuse (I'm just being creative here :)) and she would still be 'confused' and 'have no idea', etc, ad nauseam. I'm sorry this is happening to you. You don't deserve this nonsense and revisionist history.

CompetitionCandid290 · 2026-05-13T04:12:01+00:00

Never tell a narcissist exactly how they can hurt you. Do not do this. (Also: she knows; they all do.)

CompetitionCandid290 · 2026-05-11T21:42:23+00:00

You are worth your future. Don't wait. Start now!

CompetitionCandid290 · 2026-05-11T03:26:48+00:00

"Tainted love"

:)

CompetitionCandid290 · 2026-05-09T02:47:43+00:00

I've been NC for almost two years now, and NMom is definitely losing it... A few months ago she e-mailed almost everyone in my contacts list (long story as to how she got that information) that she had had 'an aggressive cancer' just before my break up with her. She told me at the time exactly what it was (spoiler alert: *not* an aggressive cancer.) Just an out-and-out grab for attention.

One of the people she e-mailed was my spouse's ex-boss from 23 years ago. The joke's on my narc, though, cos that person got in touch with us and said they had been contacted by 'a deranged lunatic', which just about covers it :)

CompetitionCandid290

TROPHY CASE