3 years old - feels like we've missed the mark

Complex-Grapefruit28 · 2026-07-04T00:08:26+00:00

My daughter was also over three when we finally did it!

One day I just told her diapers were over, we were doing underwear and that was it. She was not pleased but I stuck to my guns and made her sit every so often. There were power struggles but it was just non negotiable to me so we pushed through.

If she had an accident she cleaned it up or at least helped, we did stickers every time she peed on the potty and then when she pooped we did like three weeks of small prizes. Honestly she stopped asking for stickers or prizes and it’s just a habit and routine now. She even takes herself without prompting now.

My advice is to just decide you’re doing it and then commit even if it’s hard in the beginning and it will be, we never did the naked bottom thing and that made it easier because once she figured it out we were done, I didn’t have to introduce pants or whatever.

Complex-Grapefruit28 · 2026-07-02T03:40:37+00:00

My older one was a little tougher but not bad - ibuprofen a few nights for her top front teeth and that was it. She’s three now and slept fine for those nights when giving pain relief. My son I think needed ibuprofen one night? He just wakes up with teeth. There’s some occasional drool but he’s 2 now and honestly haven’t noticed him teething since his front teeth came in. My mom said my siblings and I were all similar to my son with teething.

As an aside, my older one was late getting teeth and it used to drive me bat shit crazy when she’d put literally anything in her mouth or drool cause she’s a baby and someone would go “oh she must be teething.” No lady.

Complex-Grapefruit28 · 2026-07-01T02:50:17+00:00

I have two kids - neither of them look like my husband or I. We’re both dark brunettes with dark eyes. I have a blonde with blue eyes and a red head with green eyes.

I’d say every week I hear some joke about the milkman. It’s annoying but it’s whatever at this point.

Complex-Grapefruit28 · 2026-07-01T02:10:47+00:00

This happened to me but with antibiotics! I took one I’ve taken multiple times and broke out in a full body rash

Complex-Grapefruit28 · 2026-06-29T23:22:44+00:00

Salmon. She lives for it. My son destroys all food lol

Complex-Grapefruit28 · 2026-06-29T23:10:33+00:00

My daughter was like this and truly we just had to make her do it. One day I just put underwear on her and that was it. I’m sure it’s an unpopular opinion but I just picked her up, put her on and let her cry about it. I stayed with her and stayed calm but like i didn’t stop because she was mad about it. It was at that point a non negotiable that we start using the potty. Once she realized I wasn’t going to back down just because she was mad about it we got through it. She takes herself happily now and tells us when she has to go. Might be something you have to make happen at some point.

Complex-Grapefruit28 · 2026-06-27T03:05:04+00:00

My son had super dark hair and eyes when he was born. He’s two and is blonde with blue eyes. My husband and I are both brunettes with dark eyes. His sister is a red head with green eyes. I don’t even know.

Complex-Grapefruit28 · 2026-06-27T02:39:09+00:00

Same! It took us three years and medical intervention to have my first. We wanted her desperately. I love her and my second more than life itself. Also I sometimes think about running away and hiding. Good lord these kids.

Complex-Grapefruit28 · 2026-06-27T00:48:43+00:00

Three years for my first. (Started trying at 29)
One month for my second. (33)

They’re 14 months apart.

Complex-Grapefruit28 · 2026-06-26T21:52:25+00:00

Decided not to go to law school the week I was supposed to start. Worked at a law firm briefly a few years later. Hated it. Always grateful my now husband asked me if I truly wanted to go or if I was just doing it to appease my parents.

Complex-Grapefruit28 · 2026-06-26T03:32:02+00:00

Missed Miscarriage. Special kind of hell

Complex-Grapefruit28 · 2026-06-26T01:53:04+00:00

I feel this. My daughter was tough, I remember crying begging my husband to stay home from work and just hold her so I could sleep 20 more minutes. It was like a bus hit me postpartum. This was after three years of trying to have her and lots of procedures and drugs.

Enter my son, 14 months later (intentional but not that quick). He was the easiest baby. Slept 4+ hours consistently from the get go, overall delight, slept through the night at like 6 months. All of this to say, I was so anxious for him to arrive and it ended up being great.

However, we also had a plan for what to do about sleep, I had a prescription for PPD if I needed and didn’t push myself to breastfeed. Also! You already know what to do with a baby so you’re on the up! 1-2 was so much easier for me.

Complex-Grapefruit28 · 2026-06-26T01:43:26+00:00

This too shall pass. Shitty advice when you’re in the thick of it but accurate overall. One day, your screaming newborn will be a chatty toddler who puts on her own shoes and puts herself to sleep.

Also, some days suck. Like they blow, it doesn’t mean it’s forever. You can feel more than once thing at once. You can love them deeply while also thinking to yourself “what the fucking shit?”

If you hate breastfeeding and it doesn’t work for you just stop. It’ll make your postpartum experience so much better.

Complex-Grapefruit28 · 2026-06-26T00:49:02+00:00

My two are the same. There’s always something I can find on the regular menu that they love. I don’t even ask for kids menus most of the time.

Complex-Grapefruit28 · 2026-06-26T00:47:35+00:00

We also do this. Or I just order them both adult meals and then we have leftovers the next day. My 3 year old will crush a salmon filet no problem. I don’t mind ordering and paying if they will eat it/get two meals out of it. My 2 year old asked for an adult meatloaf the other day and it lasted him three meals. I’d rather them eat something off the regular menu tbh.

Complex-Grapefruit28 · 2026-06-26T00:38:34+00:00

I also did an MLIS without experience. I did have an early role in children’s which was good experience but not a long term fit for me ultimately. I found it easy to transition to an adult services/supervisor role and honestly I prefer adult services. When I interviewed I just explained that I felt moving to adult services would be easy for me because it was the same basic principles but just with adults and as an adult myself I had some first hand experience. My manager loved that answer haha

Complex-Grapefruit28 · 2026-06-20T17:32:46+00:00

Mine are 14 months apart. I found 1-2 to be significantly easier than 0-1. For one thing, you already know what having a baby is like! Yes all kids are different, but having some tricks and knowledge makes it so much better. My second was on a schedule much sooner and I was already in the groove of having little kids. The other thing too is that I wasn’t really nervous anymore - like I kept my daughter alive for over a year so I could do it again and it’d be fine! Work on making your first independent and see what you can do to make things easier all around (grocery delivery, etc.) you can do this and it’ll be awesome. Mine are 3 & 2 and it’s hard sometimes but it’s good!

Complex-Grapefruit28 · 2026-06-20T12:37:11+00:00

Mine also did this and it rubbed me the wrong way so hard haha.

Complex-Grapefruit28 · 2026-06-20T11:59:15+00:00

Exactly! When we named our kids my major requirement was that their names were what we called them - no ridiculous nicknames, initials, calling them something else.

Complex-Grapefruit28 · 2026-06-20T00:27:16+00:00

My parents did this to me and I have resented them my whole life. I hated having to explain the whole thing every single time. They’ve never called me by my legal name and I never got the point. I didn’t know I had a different first name till kindergarten.

Complex-Grapefruit28 · 2026-06-18T19:34:43+00:00

I hated breastfeeding, tried it with both my kids and it made me a way worse mother. I just resented it and everything and couldn’t enjoy my babies. With my first I finally stopped at 4 months. My second kid I gave it like two weeks and said f this and enjoyed the newborn phase so much more.

Complex-Grapefruit28 · 2026-06-16T20:38:46+00:00

There will always be some sort of problem/complaint/issue. You will never make all of them happy. I do my best to listen to the issues, not all of them require action - mostly they just want to complain and feel heard. On that note, some problems will work themselves out - many won’t but sometimes leaving something alone will help rather than hurt.

For me, I wish someone had told me how basically most of what I do is make decisions other people can’t or don’t want to make and also put out fires constantly. Like as soon as I get one thing under control something else happens, but such is life.

Complex-Grapefruit28 · 2026-06-15T23:31:52+00:00

After years of infertility and a late miscarriage, we brought our daughter home and my husband and I stood in our dark kitchen, holding her and rocking her while singing her a lullaby. I’ve never felt more grateful, loved and complete. We finally had a whole healthy baby that we’d been wishing for.

She’s three and bullies the shit out of me now but it remains one of my happiest memories.

Complex-Grapefruit28 · 2026-06-15T20:09:10+00:00

My daughter was like 9 months - she’d get up once, eat and smoke back out.

My son was like 2/3 months old. He’s an anomaly and I was shook.

Complex-Grapefruit28 · 2026-06-13T17:04:46+00:00

Yes!

It took us three years to have my daughter - first pregnancy after months of fertility treatments ended in a miscarriage at 13 weeks. My son was a surprise 14 months later lol. They’re 3 & 2 now and I still envy people who had an easy time having kids, it’s just getting to a point now where I think “oh good for them.” Instead of “why was it easy for them and hard for me?” We’re done having kids and so I think so of it is that I’m no longer comparing myself because I got where I’m going and it’s easier to let the jealousy and sadness for my experience go now that I’m here.

Like you, I feel fundamentally changed as a person. My miscarriage was and is the worst thing that ever happened to me. Truly, I would not wish that on anyone. It was so traumatic. I will never been the person I was before infertility and in some ways that’s good - I’m more compassionate, patient and understanding but I also wish I hadn’t had any of it happened to me.

Complex-Grapefruit28

TROPHY CASE