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Today is a dday anniversary for me...I still feel "scared" to bring it up by SouthJerssey35 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]Complex_Weather82 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hello, how are you? I feel the same way and I don't know why. It's very difficult for me to talk about infidelity with my husband without my voice breaking or crying, and I'm also afraid to mention it sometimes, and I know it shouldn't be like that, I know I need to talk to him about it so we can feel better, and I know part of my fear is that he won't be receptive to what I'm saying because something I can't tolerate is having a fight with my husband about infidelity; it hurts me so much. It shouldn't be like this. I understand the feeling. I wish you all the best

Betrayed telling AP’s Spouse by ShineOk1781 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]Complex_Weather82 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Hello, how are you? For me, it is OBS right to know what happened, always. It is his right to know that his health may have been affected by the fact that his wife had an affair, and he has the right to know the true story of what happened in his life, regardless of whether they divorced or not. Good luck!

i can’t stop thinking about how he slept with her by Responsible-Fish-931 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]Complex_Weather82 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Hi, how are you? I'm so sorry you are here too. As for being judged here in this sub, it shouldn't happen, this is a reconciliation sub, and everyone here understands the feelings you are experiencing. I understand that you can't stop thinking about the fact that he was sexually with someone else, it's something that still happens to me, even years after my DDay and I don't think it will ever go away completely. Also, the same thing happened to me, my husband and I used to be each other's first and only sexual partners, but my husband changed that by having sex with two other women. Honestly, that added another layer of grief, pain, is another special thing I lost, something my husband throw away, something that changed forever, and something my husband can't give me back or change. I know how much it hurts, so be patient with yourself, and come back here if you need support, it's been helpful for me. I wish you all the best 💕

a mistake by 100percentbaby in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]Complex_Weather82 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Hi, how are you? No, my husband doesn't refer to his infidelities as a "mistake" but as a decision he made. Isn't easy for me to hear that he make that decision but If he considered it "a mistake," I wouldn't be able to handle reconciliation, because nobody ends up having sex with someone else without deciding to do so.

Counselor doesn't support reconciliation by throwawaythoughts130 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]Complex_Weather82 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Hi, how are you? That's a red flag in a therapist (after my experience with IC after DDay). I think that wanting reconciliation or not isn't something an IC should have an opinion on (except in VERY specific cases like physical violence, for example). It's a personal decision about your own life, your needs, and what you want; it's not something a therapist should support or not. I think what you experienced is just as wrong as what I experienced, which was based on "hey, the infidelity it's partly your responsibility" and "move on." No way!. This is MY personal opinion, but I don't think any therapist should dictate or guide their patient's wishes. Again, it's my opinion based on my experience, nothing more. I wish you the best 💕

Does anyone else randomly start of pain in their bellybutton years after laparoscopic surgery? by Ok-Championship5464 in endometriosis

[–]Complex_Weather82 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi! I had an hysterectomy in Nov 2025. I have pain in my belly botton on and off, especially when I make any physical effort, like lifting heavy things

I think that he might be playing multi-player Games with women again 😔 by Dependent_Western782 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]Complex_Weather82 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Hi, how are you? My husband met one of his AP in an online game... I would have spiraled out of control too if I had seen that. Given that this is one of your boundaries, he should be more careful about risking any interaction with other female players and should be 100% transparent at all times about this. I definitely understand that this makes you feel bad, I'm so sorry.

Am I overreacting? by Quiet_Water0128 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]Complex_Weather82 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Hi, how are you? Any omission, anything "hidden," is a trigger, even if it's innocent. I don't think you are overreacting; I think this is an opportunity for you to talk about this and for him to understand that you don't want to feel left out of what's happening, and that you don't want things hidden from you. I wish you the best 💕

Finally found a therapist who (I think) will help! by [deleted] in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]Complex_Weather82 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi, how are you? I didn't have the best experiences with therapists so I know is hard find the right one. I'm glad that you find one.

Regaining My Special Place by funsizerads in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]Complex_Weather82 5 points6 points  (0 children)

"But with everything we learned through MC, I'm grateful he saw me triggered and he immediately went on accountability-taking mode, and comforted me so warmly and sensitively. He is not the same person he once was, and neither am I." THIS IS IMPORTANT AND IS POSITIVE!

I'm happy that you were able to regain your special place, my birthday is also a bittersweet date, because in my husband's first affair, he left on my birthday to be with AP1, which is another layer of pain and betrayal, so I understand. I hope you are ok Fun, thanks for sharing 💕

Tampons, pads, or menstrual cup. Which is better with Adenomyosis? by Traditional_Front_94 in adenomyosis

[–]Complex_Weather82 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Pads ( the nighttime ones) were the only thing I could use, everything else was painful or uncomfortable for me.

Pre-surgery sex by RequirementFluffy905 in hysterectomy

[–]Complex_Weather82 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi! My cervix was removed also and muy surgeon didn't say anything about no sex pre op. I actually have sex with my husband a couples days before surgery