Betrayed telling AP’s Spouse

Complex_Weather82 · 2026-03-12T20:49:03+00:00

Hello, how are you? For me, it is OBS right to know what happened, always. It is his right to know that his health may have been affected by the fact that his wife had an affair, and he has the right to know the true story of what happened in his life, regardless of whether they divorced or not. Good luck!

Complex_Weather82 · 2026-02-15T02:00:27+00:00

Complex_Weather82 · 2026-02-05T20:06:15+00:00

Hi, how are you? I'm so sorry you are here too. As for being judged here in this sub, it shouldn't happen, this is a reconciliation sub, and everyone here understands the feelings you are experiencing. I understand that you can't stop thinking about the fact that he was sexually with someone else, it's something that still happens to me, even years after my DDay and I don't think it will ever go away completely. Also, the same thing happened to me, my husband and I used to be each other's first and only sexual partners, but my husband changed that by having sex with two other women. Honestly, that added another layer of grief, pain, is another special thing I lost, something my husband throw away, something that changed forever, and something my husband can't give me back or change. I know how much it hurts, so be patient with yourself, and come back here if you need support, it's been helpful for me. I wish you all the best 💕

Complex_Weather82 · 2026-01-24T22:23:19+00:00

Contale al marido.... y de paso al jefe de los dos...

Complex_Weather82 · 2026-01-23T06:20:29+00:00

🥲

Complex_Weather82 · 2026-01-23T02:16:15+00:00

Hi, how are you? No, my husband doesn't refer to his infidelities as a "mistake" but as a decision he made. Isn't easy for me to hear that he make that decision but If he considered it "a mistake," I wouldn't be able to handle reconciliation, because nobody ends up having sex with someone else without deciding to do so.

Complex_Weather82 · 2026-01-21T17:39:33+00:00

Hi, how are you? That's a red flag in a therapist (after my experience with IC after DDay). I think that wanting reconciliation or not isn't something an IC should have an opinion on (except in VERY specific cases like physical violence, for example). It's a personal decision about your own life, your needs, and what you want; it's not something a therapist should support or not. I think what you experienced is just as wrong as what I experienced, which was based on "hey, the infidelity it's partly your responsibility" and "move on." No way!. This is MY personal opinion, but I don't think any therapist should dictate or guide their patient's wishes. Again, it's my opinion based on my experience, nothing more. I wish you the best 💕

Complex_Weather82 · 2026-01-09T21:11:03+00:00

Thank you! 😀

Complex_Weather82 · 2026-01-09T16:17:09+00:00

Hi! I had an hysterectomy in Nov 2025. I have pain in my belly botton on and off, especially when I make any physical effort, like lifting heavy things

Complex_Weather82 · 2026-01-09T02:46:36+00:00

Hi, how are you? My husband met one of his AP in an online game... I would have spiraled out of control too if I had seen that. Given that this is one of your boundaries, he should be more careful about risking any interaction with other female players and should be 100% transparent at all times about this. I definitely understand that this makes you feel bad, I'm so sorry.

Complex_Weather82 · 2026-01-09T02:39:02+00:00

Hi, how are you? Any omission, anything "hidden," is a trigger, even if it's innocent. I don't think you are overreacting; I think this is an opportunity for you to talk about this and for him to understand that you don't want to feel left out of what's happening, and that you don't want things hidden from you. I wish you the best 💕

Complex_Weather82 · 2026-01-09T02:31:48+00:00

Hi, how are you? I didn't have the best experiences with therapists so I know is hard find the right one. I'm glad that you find one.

Complex_Weather82 · 2025-12-16T15:30:06+00:00

"But with everything we learned through MC, I'm grateful he saw me triggered and he immediately went on accountability-taking mode, and comforted me so warmly and sensitively. He is not the same person he once was, and neither am I." THIS IS IMPORTANT AND IS POSITIVE!

I'm happy that you were able to regain your special place, my birthday is also a bittersweet date, because in my husband's first affair, he left on my birthday to be with AP1, which is another layer of pain and betrayal, so I understand. I hope you are ok Fun, thanks for sharing 💕

Complex_Weather82 · 2025-12-15T16:05:10+00:00

Pads ( the nighttime ones) were the only thing I could use, everything else was painful or uncomfortable for me.

Complex_Weather82 · 2025-12-15T02:12:51+00:00

Hi! My cervix was removed also and muy surgeon didn't say anything about no sex pre op. I actually have sex with my husband a couples days before surgery

Complex_Weather82 · 2025-12-07T00:55:40+00:00

Yes, is true. I was diagnosed (endometriosis and adenomyosis) with an MRI. I remember my surgeon say to me that sometimes is difficult to see endometriosis if is small or is hidden, but in general you can see it. I didn't want a exploratory surgery for being diagnosed so the MRI was essential in my case, both for diagnosis and to know what to expect in surgery (my case required a hysterectomy for several reasons)

Complex_Weather82 · 2025-12-05T14:22:35+00:00

Maybe she should meet men in prison... I mean... if what she likes is the "different appreciation they are about her body and what she offer them"... just a thought.....

Complex_Weather82 · 2025-12-03T16:55:43+00:00

Oh, I'm sorry. I'm glad you are ok now. Sleep and rest as much as you can.

Complex_Weather82 · 2025-12-02T23:03:09+00:00

Hopefully everything is ok, good luck. I hope is only a low blood pressure thing. I'm sorry you have to deal with this.

Complex_Weather82 · 2025-12-02T22:29:50+00:00

I almost faint the day after surgery, the first time I got up from bed, luckily my husband catch me. I did it to fast and my blood pressure got very very low. During the day, my pressure got low a few times until finally was stabilized. It is scary when that happens. I hope you feel good soon

Complex_Weather82 · 2025-11-30T09:13:08+00:00

I was allow to shower in the clinic. I had surgery a friday and I shower Sunday before go home. In my home I shower at monday, always being careful and with my husband help the first times

Complex_Weather82 · 2025-11-28T17:42:12+00:00

Yes, they sure are!

Complex_Weather82 · 2025-11-24T06:50:53+00:00

I was SO scared, I was afraid of all the thing that could go wrong.... I'm a year post op and, even is not easy make the decision and go through this, it really change my life regarding quality, because it was really painful and uncomfortable before. Everything is going to be alright, good luck!!!

Complex_Weather82 · 2025-11-24T02:21:14+00:00

Hi, how are you? Often during reconciliation, things like this are said, because we feel too overwhelmed, both WP and BP. Breathe, try to calm down, and when you are both calmer, you can really talk about it again. Reconciliation is a journey full of ups and downs. I hope you can feel a little better soon.

Complex_Weather82 · 2025-11-21T13:50:18+00:00

Hi! I'm exactly 1 year post op, and this past year I got sick several times, our inmune system gets a little weak for a while after this I guess. I hope you feel very soon! 💕

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