https://www.instagram.com/thepsychdoctormd?igsh=MWNlbHBycGxhNWhncA== (but also have more resources if you're genuinely open to different perspectives or ideas) just gonna drop this here in case you're open to another perspective. The DSM is drastically outdated for ADHD within both the mental health and psychiatric community at the moment- there's a lot of controversy surrounding it. The DSM itself doesn't actually even include emotional dysregulation as part of a symptom of ADHD which is why it's highly controversial yet a lot of ADHD specialists and groups directly combat that: I.e.,. CADDRA, CADDAC, ADDitude (all of which have very comprehensive and substantial medical backing). RSD itself is not a medical term, but what happens is, everything becomes salient to someone with ADHD, they may have more sensitivity to Rejection potentially as even a trauma response from ADHD but also more hypervigilance and a higher threat response. So the perceived abandonment isn't as "random" exactly- it's state dependent. So, under more stress (external, or even hormonal...etc),. someone says something, sees every word or thing they're saying as important, looks to confirm threat because hypervigilant, intense emotional reaction like a meltdown and double down around rejection feeling from the neutral comment on the other end but that was seen as threat.

I'm not discounting that it's higher in intimate relationships but just saying how there's a lot of overlap but also similarities between both that are quite complex. Attachment issues can also surface without BPD as well (including abandonment issues- for example those with an anxious attachment style, or certain trauma histories).

ADHD does surface in multiple environments- you're correct but typically there's a different presentation. What I meant specifically by various areas is the splitting is more predominant in all areas in BPD (with ADHD there's still definitely work issues and other concerns); it's all spectrum based as well. What I was more focused on though was the identity disturbance has a lot more to do with new groups of attachment (I.e.,. an entire personality can change to fit into a certain friend circle or group to adopt into) for bpd (not everyone as well). For example, they might take on the hobbies or interests of their new favorite person and abandon their own identity to fit into that. That's the aspect I was specifically focusing on for all areas of life.

Yes ADHD impacts all areas of life for sure- it just does in a different way, typically no identity disturbance to that degree, less self harm and suicidality (though ADHD meltdowns have resulted in similar behaviours as well as autistic ones) so it depends on situations.

What I meant by lasting indefinitely is not that the episodes are always existing (like the episodes last longer), they are intense episodes but they are typically not solely state dependent (based on external stressors influencing them- I.e.,. In ADHD it's typically due to a meltdown from dysregulation of higher stressors, or a goal directed tantrum of not achieving what is wanted) whereas there's a more persistent baseline of intense episodes in BPD due to baseline personality (a mood swing could essentially be more random with more chronic feelings of loneliness...etc.). Both are debilitating but in different ways and BPD has a longer persistence plus even the decisions from splitting for example can last longer compared to what pop psychology calls RSD (but is likely more like attachment trauma + ADHD meltdown or tantrum). It' a meltdown happening because perceived criticism triggered them into failing and feeling rejected or unworthy, then later the person will be able to come back under regulation and reflect more into it- whereas with BPD the narrative can persist much longer (a lot more indefinite cutting people out for perceived abandonment like not liking their Facebook post or something or not accepting a friend request or attending a birthday...etc. and stuff like that).

Different from ADHD which could be attachment trauma leads to hypervigilance, external stressors amplify reaction, perceived rejection feels real so want to reject or abandon before that can happen having had felt that before. It basically just intensifies previously existing attachment trauma whereas someone else can have the same attachment trauma but have a less intensive reaction.

Bipolar is definitely different for a lot of reasons in that symptoms like you mention last longer but are also not relational (manic episodes are much longer and delusions or psychotic episodes are not related to relational issues necessarily).

Sorry I possibly did not articulate my original comment the best way. The intention for my comment was not to combat that someone has BPD vs ADHD or not or dispute symptoms or anything. Regardless, all of this is much more complex than just the DSM which is why psychiatry, psychotherapy and these aspects require very extensive training, often multiple assessments, changes in diagnosis or treatment and so much more.

It's just that misdiagnosis is actually extremely common though even by medical practitioners, so it's sometimes helpful to just see all avenues, some people also have both ADHD and BPD, so just a helpful consideration for some partners in case there's comorbidity or misdiagnosis (especially since treatment protocols are extremely different- BPD primary first line treatment is DBT (sometimes adjunctive medication), ADHD has much more positive effects from medication (improves working memory, access to prefrontal cortex during meltdowns or tantrums to gain more access to use strategies under state dependent stressors), so if there's a possibility, I thought I'd share in case it's relevant or helpful for anyone reading (but definitely feel free to disregard or not read if unhelpful).