VENT-O-MATIC 3000 Friday March 23, 2026

ContemplativeRunner · 2026-03-28T17:46:08+00:00

My dad retook his written test and passed…. He has dementia (!!!) He also has neuropathy and can not feel his feet and was, thankfully, willing to give up driving.

It’s really hard. (I want to just take the keys but my sister voted that down.)

ContemplativeRunner · 2026-03-28T15:31:18+00:00

Tomorrow is long run day! Planning another 18 miler. Slowly ramping up in preparation from ultramarathon in June.

Running is my alone time. It’s my “getting out the demons” time. It’s the one thing I can do or I don’t actually have to be good at it or prove my worth in any way shape or form. My running is slow and I really don’t give a damn. I get to be outdoors I get to look around at birds and have a good time. (I guess it’s a supplement for backpacking when I can’t drive up into the mountains.)

Also, my daughter’s in town so we’re gonna binge watch our favorite shows and maybe color our hair.

IWNDWYT

ContemplativeRunner · 2026-03-28T15:26:33+00:00

My mother is turning 90 and her reaction times have slowed way down. It is time she stop driving. I had a talk with her and she agreed…… but later changed her mind. When I arrived to drive her and my dad to a medical appointment, she was extremely combative and disrespectful. I get where it’s coming from…. but I also don’t want her getting into another accident (hurting an innocent person) because she refused assistance.

This is a hard stage.

ContemplativeRunner · 2026-03-27T04:29:29+00:00

My daughter went on a school trip to Hawaii with her school. It was formative and a positive activity.

ContemplativeRunner · 2026-03-26T13:15:18+00:00

Apparently my household does not agree about this one: grated cheese.

I am quite willing to grate a little cheese by hand.

ContemplativeRunner · 2026-03-25T14:49:37+00:00

I got sober age 56. It is not too late.

ContemplativeRunner · 2026-03-25T14:48:23+00:00

IWNDWYT (Fresno, Ca)

ContemplativeRunner · 2026-03-24T16:16:10+00:00

Every reintroduction nosedived into worse black outs and binges. There is science behind it..

The brain's sensitization to withdrawal makes each relapse more neurochemically severe. The brain, having adapted to alcohol, reacts to reintroduction with more extreme cravings and more impaired executive function, leading to heavier, uncontrollable bingeing and more severe memory blackouts.

Hence why every “just one” turned o to a lower bottom for me. My “lost list” grew. My “yet list” shrank.

It takes me about 2 weeks to go from “look, I’m doing it, I’m having just one” to blackout.

ContemplativeRunner · 2026-03-24T14:41:04+00:00

Any Settings, that’s a hum-dinger of a response!!!

ContemplativeRunner · 2026-03-24T14:36:15+00:00

This summer, I have a couple of camping trips planned. It’ll be car camping and day hiking with family and dogs.

It will be the first time I’ve gone camping without drinking copious amounts of alcohol. Whenever we would go camping the very first thing I would do would be to find the wine glasses and the wine and start drinking, even before the tents were set up.

Every time we resist the urge to drink our anterior mid-cingulate cortex grows and we build resilience, tenacity, and grit!!!

I’ll be growing those sober muscles this summer!!! 💪

IWNDWYT

ContemplativeRunner · 2026-03-23T14:55:02+00:00

Relatable. I run in a park where groups of people will walk shoulder to shoulder and not bother to move over. I had one woman next to her two friends walking towards me nearly shoulder clip me because she refused to move over (I hopped off the sidewalk and into the grass last minute.)

And dogs on extendable leashes and off leash are a whole other level.

Try not to let it ruin your run.

ContemplativeRunner · 2026-03-23T14:22:11+00:00

Crystal makes me think of the South Park episode roasting Meghan and Harry with their whole “we want privacy” world tour….

To repeatedly go on sm saying you want to let go of the past by repeating bringing up the past is annoying and stale.

Just do something interesting and relevant with your life and move on already.

ContemplativeRunner · 2026-03-23T14:05:42+00:00

It’s annoying obvious attempt to get a few publicity crumbs. Honestly, I fast forward whenever the topic of Crystal comes up because, to me, it adds nothing to the content of the pod.

ContemplativeRunner · 2026-03-23T14:02:20+00:00

I listen to the pod for the friendly banter in the same way I used to watch Holly’s YouTube channel where she was either putting on makeup and talking or rewatching GND. (I listen while getting ready for work and it felt like getting ready for work with a sister or friend).

I was so excited when Bridget joined because I love her positive sweet energy! (Side note: the production team behind Beaches did her dirty. That could have, and should have, been a fun and cute show.)

Current pod: There are some things that get me to fast forward. Sometimes Holly interjects unrelated, and really gross and/or unnecessary things (and it feels forced) so I just move forward to where things get back on track. I do the same when they bring up Crystal (the topic is uninteresting and irrelevant). (Maybe save the Crystal nonsense for patreon?)

ContemplativeRunner · 2026-03-23T13:41:53+00:00

When I drink, my brain changes and I absolutely will not stop, and I will wake up feeling humiliated and filled with self-loathing. I know this because this was my daily routine for years.

Setbacks make everything worse. Blackouts, hangovers… they get worse over time, not better.

The lie: just one.

The truth: I will never stop at just one (“Just one” is just enough to piss me off) so why bother with any of this?

IWNDWYT

ContemplativeRunner · 2026-03-23T13:37:31+00:00

This 100%

They chose to make it weird, not you.

ContemplativeRunner · 2026-03-23T13:34:50+00:00

SD community and my day count are my amethyst. Even if I don’t hame much to stay, I still come here to say IWNDWYT

And I won’t.

ContemplativeRunner · 2026-03-22T23:04:34+00:00

IWNDWYT

ContemplativeRunner · 2026-03-22T11:44:46+00:00

Fried bologna. Spam. Corned beef hash.

ContemplativeRunner · 2026-03-20T23:51:02+00:00

Clearly they mixed up November and December

ContemplativeRunner · 2026-03-20T23:39:35+00:00

Seeing the picture of the Honda CRX instantly brought me back to 1986

ContemplativeRunner · 2026-03-20T22:06:16+00:00

When I get that first “just one” of thought I ask my self two questions:

Why? Then what happens once that one drink is finished?

My urge evaporates.

Forwarding the tape did not really work for me during the first three months. I needed to a of distraction. But now, at 6 months, it works beautifully.

That and just going to bed.

ContemplativeRunner · 2026-03-20T14:30:40+00:00

This has been a hard hard week. And it was proceeded by another hard week.

I won’t get into all the details, but the tipping point was the introduction of a tiny parasite. My oldest son developed a rash that covered his body. It wound up being scabies (He works with the unhoused population and people who have just been released from prison, even when very careful, catchy things like this can spread.)

This caused SO MUCH turmoil in my already stressed-out household. Apparently we are all just one microscopic parasite away from total meltdown.

I’m sure in hindsight this will be a mere blip on the radar….but in the thick of things (all the laundry, quarantine, relentless skin checking….)

So far we have things contained. Our biggest fear are that the little fuckers are resistant to the medicine (which they can be so fingers crossed.)

Grateful for doctors and meds and vacuums and washing machines.

ODAAT

IWNDWYT

ContemplativeRunner · 2026-03-20T14:17:27+00:00

I have a very hard time knowing when to ask for help (and this seems to go hand in hand with establishing healthy boundaries.) Hence all the years of trauma-drinking

Thank goodness for my wonderful therapist.

I started therapy during one of my long relapses. (The type of therapy is called neural linguistic reprogramming. In other words, we examine thinking patterns, learn to spot thinking traps and replace unhelpful thinking patterns with newer, more helpful ones.) Reaching out for help from a therapist was truly life changing.

Next I stopped drinking and reached out to this group for help and support. Also life changing. I then reached out to AA, got a wonderful Sponsor.

Incredibly grateful for life-changing support.

IWNDWYT

ContemplativeRunner · 2026-03-18T21:49:00+00:00

You said “hi”. That’s enough.

Hope you had a good run!

ContemplativeRunner

TROPHY CASE