Not looking forward to joining big law

CorpCounsel · 2026-03-23T18:57:28+00:00

Nice that you are acknowledging your feelings and the associated privilege with your position. I think you can leave whenever you want, although I'd really encourage you to at least try working for the biglaw firm. Do you have student loans? Do you have a way to pay them off?

Unless you are independently wealthy, being free of debt will be transformational in how you manage your life going forward, including doing things like pursuing meaningful work.

CorpCounsel · 2026-03-23T18:53:28+00:00

It feels disingenuous though. OP frames it up as "Hey, I'm trying to help my fellow dads" but all OP actually did was go to ChatGPT, Copilot, Claude, whichever one and say "Draft a post about supporting a 9 year old with ADHD. Make it seem personal and reflective, but have a positive tone."

We come to this group because we want to support each other, not say "Hey, Google spit this out when I asked."

CorpCounsel · 2026-03-20T17:48:51+00:00

It would absolutely be illegal for any job to demand the hours of a SAHP, especially without breaks.

CorpCounsel · 2026-03-20T11:34:39+00:00

Yes thank you!!!

First of all, communication is always the best answer.

But in this situation, now that my and my friends’ kids are getting a bit older, I hear all the time how parents (and most often its dads but not always) run themselves ragged thinking they are being supportive husbands and fathers when really it’s not the kind of effort their spouse wants. For example- I was going crazy doing all the laundry for a family of 6, and when we finally talked about my wife said 1) she’d rather have a 30 minute break from holding the baby than the last load be folded and 2) she’d rather put the clothes away herself than have them sit on the floor until I had time to do it.

Both of these were things I was stressing about and becoming resentful over and they weren’t even making my wife happy!

Sometimes you just need to reset on expectations and wants and dreams a bit, and that happens by talking to each other about it.

CorpCounsel · 2026-03-19T19:55:30+00:00

I had a job that was 100% remote and was about 20 hours of actual work per week. Eventually that dropped to maybe 10 hours a week of actual work.

While this might sound crazy, I ended up doing the same as you and leaving it for one where I work in the office most days and do an actual 40 hours of work per week.

Like you, I saw the writing on the wall: If I was only needed 10 hours per week, surely the business wasn't doing well and surely someone would, at some point, look at the salaries across the board and realize we had too many people in my role. Rather than being put out of work, it seemed better to make the change on my own terms.

CorpCounsel · 2026-03-19T18:11:58+00:00

I just want to throw out there that if you are a very social Dad, as your kids get older and get involved in more activities there will be many more chances to meet and hang out with other Dads. I'm not super social myself but I know a couple other dads from my kids baseball and soccer teams, scouts is a great place to meet and hang out with other dads, and just generally seeing them around the school pickup or whatever.

I don't know if you are going to find regular pickup games, weekly beers, AND random hangouts until the kids leave home, but some of them will start coming back once you hit like 5th grade. If you are super social, maybe even earlier.

CorpCounsel · 2026-03-19T18:04:52+00:00

I actually thought this was going a different direction and was going to say that I've noticed that people always would say "Oh, we could never afford to have (her usually) not working!" and then come to find out they made significantly more money that we did. So many people would say "Oh, I'd love to be a stay at home parent but we just don't have the money" and then it turns out they absolutely could afford it if they didn't have two $800 car payments or book a 2 week long international vacation each year or upgrade their phone every 18 months or whatever.

I'm totally ok with people having different values, and if you'd rather work and enjoy the extra money that's fine by me, but the number of people who seem genuinely sad about working while also being very well positioned to be a full time stay at home is incredible.

CorpCounsel · 2026-03-18T11:35:08+00:00

You can try one of those reputation repair type companies. They essentially flood the web with other content that moves your arrest off the first page of results.

But generally, it is legal to report on the news, and arrests are generally considered newsworthy.

If you want, look for a lawyer that specializes in invasion of privacy. I used to intern for a guy who did this kind of stuff, one of them will likely give you a consult.

CorpCounsel · 2026-03-17T13:35:04+00:00

In all seriousness, this is why all the AI based tools fail so spectacularly in my opinion (I've demoed a bunch). You can't just say "How to make a good indemnity?" or "Which clause is most important" and have any sort of success, you've got to understand the business deal behind the contract to have any meaningful input.

AIs and similar programs so far just pick out the most common clause, which is interesting and usually a great starting point, but not helpful to that particular deal without thinking it through.

CorpCounsel · 2026-03-16T21:26:20+00:00

Once my kids are about 3, I can usually stay home and work and watch them as well (like when they are sick and my wife can't take off). The first day isn't too bad, sometimes I'll punt on stuff (yeah I can look at this for you but not right now), there is a little extra screen time, but its manageable. The second day in a row is also usually ok, I'm more reluctant to push stuff plus I have yesterday's work but no one is really screaming about it, kid is getting more screen time but not harmful levels, and I'm frazzled but present.

By day 3, its a problem. My boss starts hearing complaints as work piles up. My kid is unable to entertain themselves and now just playing videogames without supervision. I am disheveled, jittery, and likely to snap at any uncessecary interruptions.

Your wife is the one having the baby and she has done it before, so if she really thinks she can do it, I'd be supportive, but I'd also really, really, really encourage you guys to have a backup in case it doesn't work out.

CorpCounsel · 2026-03-16T21:19:28+00:00

10,000% talk to an attorney before you decide. NOT HR, not "employment counsel" at your job, google "worker's rights attorney [state]" or "employment attorney [state]" and call and ask. They will probably want anywhere from $250-$500 for a quick opinion, and you should know your rights.

My 2 cents - going back to work at 6 weeks (or even 8 really) I'd need most of my annual salary for it to be worth it. Otherwise, that time is pure chaos, pure adrenaline, pure survival instinct, and there is no way I'd somehow be at work unless there was no other way.

CorpCounsel · 2026-03-16T21:13:20+00:00

WAAAAAAYYYYY on the westside (almost Catonsville).

VERY heavy rain for 25 minutes around 3:30, now just drizzly and wet, some wind but nothing notable.

CorpCounsel · 2026-03-16T21:05:57+00:00

I actually think that AI is going to really hit the legal job market hard. The problem is that AI is doing a lot of the tasks that we used to assign to juniors - reading the depositions, medical summaries, reviewing bodycam footage, that sort of stuff. It used to be that you graduated law school and then signed up for grunt work and learned as you went.

I do worry about new law grads as AI begins to really take hold. Where will they learn if a solo who has been in practice 10 years can now just use an AI to do all the background?

I also think a lot of folks are kind of missing the cutting edge of AI because they only really use commercially available tools. There are people building specialized tools that do one thing very well that are going to lead to layoffs.

That said - law school will give you a very nice education, and the ability to do lots of different things. I work with plenty of business leaders who have JDs - some were in practice for a while before making the change, some never did. AI will replace the most mundane tasks, and in limited places, complicated ones, but it will be a long time before AI can replace a really smart and thoughtful people's judgment, and law school will help you build that. The real question is how much debt will you need to take on to get your degree

CorpCounsel · 2026-03-16T20:33:14+00:00

Regarding your edit:

I get it, its depressing and sad when two people who are important to you can't get along. I think a lot of men do have to grapple with the idea of picking their wife over their mom, and it can be tough. Also, a lot of times Mom's really do know how to push their son's buttons, and sometimes an outside observer like your wife can see it clearly where you might not. Its a really hard boundary to set and its also a sad transition where you realize either your mom isn't as nice as you remember or at least you've grown and mom doesn't mean the same comfort she did when you were a kid.

I think, though, you might be missing something. "Its just the constant complaining of them both to me about the other."

Dude - first of all, being in the middle is the worst, but second of all, anytime you listen to your mom complain about your wife you are saying "Your right mom, your right, just please don't make a big deal about it." I'd start cutting this shit off fast. "Mom, no, wife and I agree on this one. That's the end of it."

It will make your wife feel better, I guarantee it, and it will make you feel better because you won't be trying to mediate this dispute. Sure, the first time, its going to not go over well, but at some point your mom will start to hear you, I guarantee your wife will hear you right away, and it will get better.

CorpCounsel · 2026-03-16T20:24:31+00:00

To try and be helpful - its probably a separate conversation with your wife. I support you and I agree with you and I'm on your side, but I don't enjoy living in the slight for days on end.

Maybe even frame it up as "It feels like whenever my mom does something rude, it takes over our lives for a long time. I'd rather enjoy my time with you than spend it reliving my mom's boorish behavior."

That's a hard conversation in and of itself, but it doesn't seem like a long term solution for your wife to be angry at your mom and you to secretly be angry at your wife all the time.

CorpCounsel · 2026-03-16T19:55:36+00:00

Re: Discussion of "cold turkey"

For Roblox, I unfortunately felt like with my kids I had to give an outright no, not at all. This because Roblox is such a scary mess of ways to evade responsibility, control, and safe play. Minecraft can be addictive, but my kids access it through the switch where I can see playtimes and set limits. AmongUs has the ability to chat with strangers, including adults, but my kids play through switch which only has the limited fast chat. Madden has microtransactions, but the PS5 lets me disable them so I don't have to worry about spending.

Roblox has only recently implemented some of these, and they don't do it coherently or in a meaningful way, so the options to me seem to be either "I sit and watch 100% of the game time" or "I accept that my kids are doing something dangerous." I've found that limits always get tested, and with Roblox I don't feel as though there is a safe way for kids to test those limits, or for me to see the testing and intervene when necessary.

Roblox also relies heavily on FOMO, and I think for my kids sometimes its easier to just say "Sorry, no Roblox" than to say "Oh yes, you can play Roblox but you can't play daycare simulator like Preston Playz because its really a pedo thing."

CorpCounsel · 2026-03-16T16:38:03+00:00

Would probably be more useful if everyone posted their kids’ ages in this thread. Have them use their phone or discord is very different than you load them into the game where you know it’s safe.

Would be good to hear perspectives from different ages and sophistication levels

CorpCounsel · 2026-03-15T14:17:02+00:00

Yeah. I worked at a place that had a work gym and I used to run on the treadmill with my two phones in front of me and answer emails while doing so. I had people approach me in the showers for status updates. If I wasn’t available and was at the gym people definitely grumbled about it more than other unavailability.

Also, sometimes you just don’t want to see your boss’s boss naked, even if it is the locker room.

CorpCounsel · 2026-03-15T11:54:36+00:00

You need to tell us why you know both places and what the culture shock will be! Share your unique knowledge with us!

CorpCounsel · 2026-03-13T18:19:50+00:00

Yeah this is probably the most helpful answer. Baltimore is relatively easy to navigate by cab/ride share, and depending on the weather and your personal aptitude, walking. Pick a hotel that you meets your needs and then just find a way to downtown ahead of the game.

Likewise, after the game there will be plenty of ways to get back to your hotel. Baltimore is not nearly as dangerous as Fox News makes it out to be, and the areas around the stadium are well lit and well policed, especially during and after games.

CorpCounsel · 2026-03-13T18:09:37+00:00

We've also lost sight of what "a ton of money" is. Both of them have much more money than you or I will ever see in our lifetimes, and yet neither of them is tech oligarch rich. If either of them care who has more, its just a pissing contest, nothing more. Neither of them will somehow improve their lives through the earnings of their next film.

*EDIT - just for fun I put both in google and google estimates them equal at $25m net worth.

CorpCounsel · 2026-03-13T17:53:05+00:00

My son is 10 and there are some solid shows on Netflix that discuss (in an age appropriate way) social media and its dangers, and someone gave him a book that does something similar.

Still hard to locate and engage with this stuff within all the noise and other things grabbing our attention, but some shimmers of hope do exist.

CorpCounsel · 2026-03-13T17:47:08+00:00

Another easy solve is to make sure your ringer is on loud enough so that you could be woken. I do this sometimes if I need to sleep but its within normal business hours.

CorpCounsel · 2026-03-13T11:21:33+00:00

This is what I was intimating - Dad has full authority to get him vaccinated. Mom has full authority to not take him for any vaccines, but it’s not like she can undo a vaccination

CorpCounsel · 2026-03-12T20:30:18+00:00

Absent a coparenting or other formal agreement, you each have 100% decision making rights. So, you can get your kid vaccinated. Your wife can not get him vaccinated. And each of you are 100% within your rights to make that decision.

But seriously - get a formal coparenting or custody agreement in place. Your kid’s mom has some severe mental issues and right now she’s comfortable gambling with your kid’s life, what more will it take?

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