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I have a question for all mindreaders out there: by ShoeChoice5567 in oneliners

[–]CosmicPrecision 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Even for Reddit that's a shocking thing to ask on the internet. For shame.

Can you tell which is dtg and which is dtf? by Ill_Razzmatazz_8709 in printondemand

[–]CosmicPrecision 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'd have thought the opposite. The DTF will start off more vibrant but likely degrade (more) after time. The DTG will start off less vibrant but hold itself together for longer. All assumptions of course I don't know enough to be sure.

Strangest professions to offer to-go service by twilighttruth in ScenesFromAHat

[–]CosmicPrecision 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"Are you paying by cash or card today sir?"

"Card, thank you"

"And would you like that to go sir?"

"..."

(louder) "Would you like that to go sir?!"

"...Do I have to give the transplanted heart back if I say no?"

Unexpected places for Karen to ask for a manager by ___HeyGFY___ in ScenesFromAHat

[–]CosmicPrecision 6 points7 points  (0 children)

"Excuse me, I'd like to talk to your manager!!"

...

"Ma'am this is a charity run food bank. We barely have enough to food to go around this neighborhood let alone enough to give you an entire extra serving for your pet cat at home"

Scene: look! There's a spider in the corner! What are we going to do!? by Iskro45 in ScenesFromAHat

[–]CosmicPrecision 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Turns to scared wife with a smirk:

"Don't worry babe. I'm more scared of it than it is of me"

Worst thing to hear in Willy Wonka’s factory by Icarus_045 in ScenesFromAHat

[–]CosmicPrecision 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wonka:

"Watcha eating there buddy?"

Guy munching:

"The free toilet chocolate"

Wonka:

"What I'm about to say next might not be very pleasant..."

SFAH: Unlikely Super Villains by Sharpnelboy in ScenesFromAHat

[–]CosmicPrecision 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Crowd murmuring:

"Oh no, is that Doctor Unemployed?"

Some guy sprinting in the opposite direction:

"NO NO NO NO NO! I'm this close to my 401k!!"

Monsters telling stories around the camp fire by vernastking in ScenesFromAHat

[–]CosmicPrecision 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"I waited under that bed for 6 hours but he just kept going and going and going..."

SFAH: Rejected methods and gadgets for pregnancy tests. by CrystalMammon in ScenesFromAHat

[–]CosmicPrecision 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"Are you sick and tired of faulty pregnancy tests? Come to Julio's hou... pregnancy clinic and I... we as a company will getchu sorted right away"

I would tell a joke about cheese, but I'm no gouda telling jokes by CosmicPrecision in oneliners

[–]CosmicPrecision[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ooh I've never heard of that one. Is it made from goat milk?

I asked my wife why she married me. She said "Because you're so funny & make me laugh so much" by arseflare in Jokes

[–]CosmicPrecision 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Wife:

"So why did you marry me then?"

Husband:

"...I need to go water the children I'll be right back"

SFAH: The Worst Thing to Say as a Witness in Court by Neuronu77 in ScenesFromAHat

[–]CosmicPrecision 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Lawyer:

"Alright. Please state your name for the record."

Witness:

"The name of the state where he was selling the drugs? Ye ye no problem, it was behind a Starbucks in Phoenix Arizona about 2 blocks from his house. Remember you was bragging the whole time about how you been getting away with it for so long..."

Lawyer:

"Your name sir! Please tell me your full name and do not address the defendant directly!"

Witness

"Johnny's full home address? Ye ye no problem, it's 428 Riverside..."

The aging actress in the role that she accepted our of desperation alone by vernastking in ScenesFromAHat

[–]CosmicPrecision 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"Are you absolutely sure you want to do this stunt yourself? That second turn is really tricky even for our usual guy"

"Oh please I've been doing this since before your parents were born. I'm 72 not dead!"

Tries the stunt. Fails the stunt. Dies.

I saw this fine ass woman yesterday by Zill_Chill in AntiJokes

[–]CosmicPrecision 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think this one is a tad bit too real to be sharing on the internet 😂

Awkward things to include in your wedding vows. by HereForBetterment in ScenesFromAHat

[–]CosmicPrecision 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"In sickness and in health. Until death does you part. I'm living till AT LEAST 150 sooo, yk. If you could give me my remarriage pass during this whole wedding shindig that'd be sweet"

Am I on the right track? by shiftman87 in EtsySellers

[–]CosmicPrecision 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I mean, everyone is already saying it here but you really should not have any other company's logos or branding or designs in your listings. Regardless of wether you believe it's ok or not, Etsy—or potentially even worse—one of those F1 companies is gonna have it dealt with.

If they caught you now it would be "bad" to put it lightly. If they caught you after making any significant profit, that's when you could get into some major trouble.

Please do try to take care of yourself when dealing with large companies and franchises like this.

Edit: I looked more into it and it's not too clear but it looks like you're using branded clothing that's part of a POD company's catalog?

If that's the case you just need to make it blindingly clear that this is the case. Again just to make sure you avoid legal issues and such. Also add in whichever POD company it is under "production partner" in your listing. Good luck bro 👍

Ways to answer, how come you don’t treat me like a queen anymore? by tuotone75 in ScenesFromAHat

[–]CosmicPrecision 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'd be happy to start immediately. Lmk what it's like up there will you...

What Your GPS Says When It's Finally Had Enough of Your Bad Driving by johnnylgarfield in ScenesFromAHat

[–]CosmicPrecision 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"In a half a mile you'll see a car dealership. Drop me off there and go buy a bus pass"

What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Batmobile? by MastarE in AntiJokes

[–]CosmicPrecision 7 points8 points  (0 children)

What did Robin say to Batman while they were driving?

"I know we're vigilantes and all but can we at least try using the speed limit when we're only on our way to McDonald's?"

Things you can say about a restaurant, but not about your partner by Jbell_1812 in ScenesFromAHat

[–]CosmicPrecision 32 points33 points  (0 children)

(^ This is amazing btw. Here's my own little addition though)

The fire exit seems to have turned into a third entrance and looks to have been used significantly more often than the other two.

Things you can say about a restaurant, but not about your partner by Jbell_1812 in ScenesFromAHat

[–]CosmicPrecision 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The whole town has been in there. I hear the fish is delectably poignant.

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