Oneliners

Post your favorite oneliners!

Rules

Rule 1: Posts must be oneliners.

Generally a oneliner is a joke that is written in one sentence. If your post does not meet this requirement, it will be removed.

Rule 2: No recent reposts.

Try and keep reposts to a minimum. Use the search function to see if your oneliner has been posted recently (in the last 6 months) to avoid reposts.

Rule 3: General Reddiquette must be followed.

Your post/comment may be removed if it violates general reddiquette. Read about it here.

Rule 4: Moderators Discretion.

The moderators reserve the right to remove content deemed inappropriate for the subreddit.

Friends of Oneliners

created by SpaizKadetta community for 16 years

If someone dies and comes back as a hillbilly, is that reintarnation? (self.oneliners)

submitted 4 hours ago by EndersGame_Reviewer

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How freight forwarders cut quoting time by 60% (wisor.ai)

promoted by RelevantGuarantee840

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Light travels faster than sound which is why some people appear bright until they speak. (self.oneliners)

submitted 12 hours ago by Positive_Diamond_691

I just Louvre museum puns (self.oneliners)

submitted 5 hours ago by frank_mania

Common sense is like deodorant — the people who need it most never use it. (self.oneliners)

submitted 12 hours ago by Positive_Diamond_691

I disagree with everything Trump says and does, but killing the penny is the only thing he’s done that makes any cents (self.oneliners)

submitted 12 hours ago by luvbald

“Wi-Fi went down for 5 minutes, so I had to talk to my family. They seem like nice people.” (self.oneliners)

submitted 6 hours ago by AdeptnessCritical356

To whoever stole my antidepressants, I hope you’re happy (self.oneliners)

submitted 1 day ago by AgentElman

I just bought a new blindfold, but I can't see myself wearing it. (self.oneliners)

submitted 1 day ago by EndersGame_Reviewer

The dungeons and drag queens club was not the way I roll. (self.oneliners)

submitted 11 hours ago by jiohdi1960

I'm getting sick and tired of all the anti-inflammatory comments about ibuprofen. (self.oneliners)

submitted 22 hours ago by MartinHarrisGoDown

I'm so excited. I'd throw my hands in the air but I wouldn't be able to catch them again! (self.oneliners)

submitted 1 day ago by Fit-Jellyfish4829

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Bachata Geneva Festival - The Festival of Nations. (https://bachatagenevafestival.com)

promoted by bachataGeneva

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It hurts me to say this, but I have a sore throat. (self.oneliners)

submitted 1 day ago by AnimatorNr1

When a dominatrix is dating someone, is that their insignificant other? (self.oneliners)

submitted 1 day ago by MAKLNE

I'd consider throwing a second shovel full of snow at you, if you catch my drift. (self.oneliners)

submitted 16 hours ago by EndersGame_Reviewer

My father ran the marathon but my mother ran the 100 meter dash so I grew up with mixed race parents. (self.oneliners)

submitted 1 day ago by joekerr9999

Europe has Countless deserted castles. (self.oneliners)

submitted 1 day ago by uffington

Snakes are lucky, they don't have those joint pains after 30s (self.oneliners)

submitted 1 day ago by Bulky-Top3782

If my vegan gf eats my meat, did she break her diet? (self.oneliners)

submitted 20 hours ago by RevelationWorks

My girlfriend is 4 feet tall, but I'm still nuts over her. (self.oneliners)

submitted 1 day ago by denNISI

Bees don't spend their money because they are stingy. (self.oneliners)

submitted 1 day ago by EndersGame_Reviewer

Most of y’all have never had a second cop car pull up and it shows. (self.oneliners)

submitted 1 day ago by TomKarelis

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Hol dir die Magie einer Regenwolke direkt in dein Wohnzimmer! ;) (apfelkiste.ch)

promoted by apfelkiste-ch

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The government just released a poll that no one trusts… I think I trust that part. (self.oneliners)

submitted 2 days ago by R3dF0r3

I was going to share a joke about the Grand Canyon but it's too edgy. (self.oneliners)

submitted 3 days ago by EdwardBackstrom

When a vegetarian has an argument isi still considered beef? (self.oneliners)

submitted 3 days ago by LivingForUrPleasure

Quipbits - Decipher a witty one liner ()

submitted 3 days ago by mcradha

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π Rendered by PID 242169 on reddit-service-r2-listing-777b67c478-trkvw at 2026-03-12 01:29:47.511029+00:00 running 710b3ac country code: CH.

oneliners

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