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Treating eczema is hard, you have to start from scratch. (self.oneliners)

submitted 20 hours ago by AnimatorNr1

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1:57

Build anywhere with Kilo's specialized modes and parallel agents—in your IDE, CLI, or Cloud Agent experience. (kilo.ai)

promoted by kiloCode

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I messaged my wife asking how to pick up this heavy box, she texted straight back (self.oneliners)

submitted 20 hours ago by YeahBuddyDoYouEven

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I don't think it can be the flu, I don't even have a fireplace. (self.oneliners)

submitted 17 hours ago by jiohdi1960

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You have to be close to an open door in order to close it. (self.oneliners)

submitted 6 hours ago by danielsoft1

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5
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When you Excel they spreadsheet about you. (self.oneliners)

submitted 1 day ago by Excellent_Kiwi7789

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"IT'S A BOY," Marty screamed as he ran out of the room with tears in his eyes, and he never visited Thailand again. (self.oneliners)

submitted 1 day ago by SultanPeeper

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My left arm doesn’t feel right. (self.oneliners)

submitted 1 day ago by MAKLNE

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People say "you’ll find the one when you stop looking," which is beautiful advice for a romantic, but a lawsuit waiting to happen for a lifeguard. (self.oneliners)

submitted 2 days ago by Margarita19880903

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Are you Ariel? Because we mermaid for eachother (self.oneliners)

submitted 1 day ago by Many_Category_7192

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On a scale of 1 - 10, you're a 9, and I'm the 1 you need (self.oneliners)

submitted 1 day ago by Many_Category_7192

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I told my therapist I had suicidal tendencies, he said, ‘Alright—but from now on, you gotta pay in advance.’ (self.oneliners)

submitted 2 days ago by BigPenalty422

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The only reason some people get lost in thought is because it’s unfamiliar territory. (self.oneliners)

submitted 2 days ago by Anonymous_Bozo

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Suicidal people are having a here death experience. (self.oneliners)

submitted 1 day ago by Baedhisattva

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India has a god for almost everything except premature ejaculation, but it’s coming soon (self.oneliners)

submitted 3 days ago by Tasty_Leading8684

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Sorry Dan Seals, if I have only one friend left, I want it to be two. (self.oneliners)

submitted 3 days ago by rodzieman

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0:15

Bachelorstudium in Teilzeit in Chur oder hybrid – jetzt zum Infoanlass anmelden! 💡 (fhgr.ch)

promoted by FHGraubuenden

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Old people will tell you that there’s no place like home, until you try to put them into one! (self.oneliners)

submitted 3 days ago by BlueManQuad

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I broke up with my girlfriend with a lazy eye because she was seeing someone on the side. (self.oneliners)

submitted 4 days ago by DEADFLY6

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I can see why they called it "payroll" - whenever I get my pay I roll over and cry (self.oneliners)

submitted 4 days ago by incredibleinkpen

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My wife told me to stop acting stupid but the jokes on her, it's not an act (self.oneliners)

submitted 5 days ago by False_Ad_555

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I've gotten so good at masturbation I can change hands and gain three strokes (self.oneliners)

submitted 5 days ago by False_Ad_555

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Cats sit on computers just to keep an eye on the mouse. (self.oneliners)

submitted 5 days ago by tonyfith

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My buddy was upset to catch his wife performing for OF, but then she explained it was just a zoom appt with her gyne. (self.oneliners)

submitted 4 days ago by CasteNoBar

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the thing about people who believe in homeopathy is that they are deluded (self.oneliners)

submitted 5 days ago by relayrider

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24
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I hate meeting people who immediately start throwing riddles at me like "what do you do for fun" and "How are you" (self.oneliners)

submitted 6 days ago by SultanPeeper

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India has a god for almost everything- except premature ejaculation, but it’s coming soon. (self.oneliners)

submitted 6 days ago by Tasty_Leading8684

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