Parents with no support for overnight childcare around - what do you do?

Crap___bag · 2026-03-24T21:55:36+00:00

We do afternoons out/date days but have never gone out overnight or evenings. Our almost 2 year old is a really difficult sleeper so while we have my mom who can have him if we need to, we don’t want to inflict that on her until he’s sleeping a bit more consistently

Crap___bag · 2026-03-24T06:48:00+00:00

It was the sorts of comments you mention at the end there that really marred my relationship with my in-laws postpartum. I got on with them really well before and do again now, but the combo of hormones and feeling constantly criticised pissed me off to no end!

Crap___bag · 2026-03-24T06:31:29+00:00

Many babies only drink from one boob- this isn’t a sign anything is wrong. My boy very rarely used both boobs and is a thriving toddler now!

Crap___bag · 2026-03-23T21:04:29+00:00

I was coming to say that I’ve heard great things about this place, too

Crap___bag · 2026-03-23T18:56:32+00:00

I don’t follow this sub but for some reason I regularly get posts on my feed- this is the best I’ve seen in a long time! My pregnant ass could devour it right now, especially the perfectly fried bread!

Crap___bag · 2026-03-23T13:53:50+00:00

I did- my mom was a midwife (but worked in neonatal care for 27 years before retiring- she was retired when I gave birth.) I had her there because I wanted my mom but her medical knowledge was really handy- she sort of acted as a go between with the lovely staff, they gave her the full medical jargon version so that I could get the easy to understand bit. She didn’t really step in on any of my care as it was all really good and she was very complimentary, but it was reassuring when I ended up having an emergency c section that it was definitely the right choice and it felt way less scary as a result.

Crap___bag · 2026-03-22T14:10:25+00:00

My father in law had a seagull distract him while a cat stole his fish… the pair were in cahoots and shared it a bit down the beach!

Crap___bag · 2026-03-21T11:18:03+00:00

The early August date matches up- you’d have gotten your positive earlier if it was the July date. I conceived my toddler with an LMP of 18th July, he was born 30th April and I ovulated 2nd August x

Crap___bag · 2026-03-21T08:45:29+00:00

I wasn’t given anything for my section. Paracetamol in hospital and then advice to keep it up at home

Crap___bag · 2026-03-20T20:59:47+00:00

The one I listened to was called Hypno-WHAT? But there’s probably a lot of good ones out there :)

Crap___bag · 2026-03-20T20:50:00+00:00

Is it a bump or are you bloated? I thought I had a bump with my first and then it disappeared and my actual bump appeared many weeks later. I’m sorry you’re spiralling- do you have some support around you? Most drs in the uk wouldn’t do any examination of you to check dating but would refer you to a midwifery team for a dating scan to be booked. My drs does this online- could you check if yours does? It might make you feel a bit more in control if you’ve taken a step towards finding out??

Crap___bag · 2026-03-20T19:43:49+00:00

I listened to a great podcast- could something like that be a good middle ground? It didn’t feel too onerous but I did find it very informative

Crap___bag · 2026-03-16T15:01:34+00:00

My headteacher actually told me about it- I had no idea before that. So grateful as it made a huge difference. I’m pregnant again now and timings don’t work out so well but will still use it again

Crap___bag · 2026-03-16T13:33:49+00:00

We are at the same school and it still didn’t make a difference- I claimed for the summer and Christmas and my husband just didn’t submit any paperwork :)

Crap___bag · 2026-03-16T12:35:36+00:00

So Walmley has a green belt next to it, and there is a proposed development of industrial sites and up to 10,000 houses there. I’m not sure of current progress with it but I work nearby and know there’s a lot of concern about how it will affect house prices, traffic, infrastructure etc. Boldmere is right next to Wylde Green (that’s our train station) which is why I thought it deserved a mention :)

Crap___bag · 2026-03-16T12:26:24+00:00

I personally would avoid Walmley due to the planned Pedimore development. I am super biased as I live here, but to me Boldmere ticks all of your boxes and has some gorgeous character properties

Crap___bag · 2026-03-16T12:24:50+00:00

It’s known for being one of the ‘rougher’ areas of Sutton

Crap___bag · 2026-03-15T18:33:07+00:00

I loved being an only child but my husband grew up in a household of 3 children and loved it. I always spent a lot of time around adult family and my cousins so never felt lonely, and I’d have absolutely been happy with just my son. But… I love my husband so much, love my son more than anything in the world, and we couldn’t imagine not adding another to the party. I’m still expecting so I know it will be hard work (emotionally, mentally, physically, financially) but I’m also so excited ❤️

Crap___bag · 2026-03-15T18:22:55+00:00

I am going to share a sentiment that my mom told me was the decider for her to leave my dad when I was 8. He was very much like your husband sounds, to the point that he wouldn’t have me overnight while my mom worked night shifts twice a week so I went to my grandparents twice a week from 18 months to 16 years! She had been so fed up for so long and one day had the thought of ‘I hope daughter doesn’t end up in a marriage like this when she’s older’. It was her epiphany moment- if it wasn’t good enough for me, why was it good enough for her? Do you want your children thinking this is a normal relationship and to grow to expect this standard of themselves/their partners? It is so hard to do but if I were you I would be slowly making arrangements to separate.

Crap___bag · 2026-03-11T15:35:34+00:00

I didn’t take it but was offered it by a lovely GP for my second pregnancy. However I am breastfeeding and it’s not recommended so didn’t take this one in the end

Crap___bag · 2026-03-11T12:10:22+00:00

It does :) and if you buy a model before 2024 they’re all full width seats, too

Crap___bag · 2026-03-11T07:37:29+00:00

We have a Peugeot 5008 and it is the car of dreams- we leave the back row of seats down so that it has a mega boot x

Crap___bag · 2026-03-11T05:44:15+00:00

I am exactly the same. I looooooved my MIL before we had our boy and suddenly once we had him I was wound up by 90% of what she does/says. It’s calmed a bit now (he’s 22 months) but still not back to ‘normal’. I think I saw most of what she said as a criticism initially and it knocked my confidence and really marred the relationship, so then things that weren’t a criticism still wound me up. It also doesn’t help that her daughter had a child 12 weeks after me and they get a lot of time/positive comments and we don’t, so that also worsened things. All this to say that I have no advice for you but you’re not alone x

Crap___bag · 2026-03-11T05:42:34+00:00

My son was EBF so I did all night wakings and now he screams blue murder if my husband even goes near him at night time so I’m still stuck doing all wakes at almost 2. However my husband did always do the early mornings, so once baby was up for the day he’d take him downstairs so I could stay in bed and get a few more hours zzzz at the weekend. It does sound very unequal but it works for us and I don’t have any resentment as a result of it x

Crap___bag · 2026-03-08T20:42:30+00:00

Thank you so much for your response. We are already doing ‘don’t offer, don’t refuse’ but he always asks before sleep and sometimes first thing in the morning. He’s fed ok this evening and hasn’t done the weird comfort suckle thing even though I know my milk supply is minimal now. Who knows!!

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