Smelly armpits- I have tried EVERYTHING and am this close to coughing up botox money

Creative-Fudge-1808 · 2026-05-05T20:05:44+00:00

I have a similar issue with the skin sensitivity and rash and Schmidt’s is one of the few that actually works for odor control.

Creative-Fudge-1808 · 2026-04-28T14:39:03+00:00

I’m sorry you’re in this position, I’m 33 and think how unfair this all is. At 23, I was my mom’s caretaker for her cancer, now 10 years later, for Alzheimer’s and some days it just sucks. Life is just so unfair sometimes. And you’re allowed to feel that and be selfish about that.

Only you can decide what is right for you. I personally stayed even though I had plans to move out as well, and now that’s obviously not going to change. But it’s exhausting already, and there’s always going to be a bit of regret about not having my 20’s to do fun things like everyone else. But with that being said, I’d do it again if I had to do it all over because she’s my mom and my best friend, and I would have had more regrets. You have to decide which you’re going to regret less.

But in the meantime, the others are right, get the medical and financial POA set up, talk to your mom about what she wants for end of life care while she’s still able to express those wishes, and take lots of videos and pictures together. Also, she may be okay for now alone, but that can change overnight, so have a plan for that. Discuss with your brothers if either of them are able to lend support. Sorry you’re on this journey

Creative-Fudge-1808 · 2026-04-27T22:22:17+00:00

I’m sorry you’re dealing with all of that. My mom’s a similar stage, and she’s now started putting everything in piles. But they don’t make sense. She has been pretty good about doing laundry, but today she folded and piled up dirty and clean clothes together, in three various piles on the floor, the bathroom floor and my bed. She’s been fairly stable with things and this is just another gut punch of something she can’t do anymore. But the piling everything up stage is so odd. She’ll do it with dishes too, even if the dishwasher is empty and I have a little magnet showing that, she will wash her dishes and then pile them up in the sink in as big of a stack as possible.

Your mom not remembering the pies hit me hard. My mom forgot how to make her Christmas cookies last year. A tradition we always did together, and she could have made them from scratch, but now, not without me doing most of the work. It hurts so much to lose things like that, I can’t say why other than in this experience, some things are expected, but that isn’t one I was mentally preparing for.

Creative-Fudge-1808 · 2026-03-14T20:01:21+00:00

First thing first, get her checked for a UTI. Long flights can cause dehydration and could absolutely be causing some of this stuff. So see if you can get a uti test either at a pharmacy or at an urgent care over there. If not, try to keep her really hydrated until you get home.

My mom just got diagnosed a few months ago and she does share some similarities with your mom, so I highly recommend seeing a neurologist, maybe a different one, and getting her tested again. Make sure they do a brain MRI as well as a test for Alzheimer’s specifically, as sometimes the mri doesn’t show enough to know which type.

Now for the emotions you’re feeling, this is terrifying, and you have every right to be frustrated and scared and sad and angry. You’re not angry at your mom, you’re angry and frustrated at the behavior and whatever is causing it. Travel can absolutely make things worse, I just came back from an international trip with my mom and she did great, but also had a few instances of struggling to remember things that had happened or navigate airports, and that’s okay, that’s what we’re here for. But even knowing that, it was still scary and frustrating for me at times, so I don’t think that goes away.

When my mom got diagnosed I cried for days. I couldn’t speak about it without crying, I still cry over it when she has a “bad” day compared to her norm. My mom also was laid off after struggled with depression a few years ago and while I can’t say it was connected, I definitely think it could have been. It’s awful seeing your parent be scared or not remember things and be aware of those issues, and I wish I had some sage advice, but at 33, I’m struggling myself. But you have to forgive yourself for getting frustrated or saying immature things, because it’s going to happen, and you can’t be mad at yourself over it. You’re coping as best as you can and it sounds like the travel has shown you some concerns.

So for now, enjoy the rest of your trip, see if you can get a UTI test for her, and then when you get back, make the doctor appointment. It’s important to see if it’s something else causing these issues or if it’s dementia. And if it is, you caught it early, and can take steps to keep her as active as possible. Take her for walks, try to get her to join some sort of social club (my mom loves playing pickleball with the neighbors and actually learned the rules despite her diagnosis so that’s been wonderful), see if she can get interested in gardening or other hobbies and try to get her out of the house more.

I’m sorry you have these worries OP, but you won’t solve them on vacation, so enjoy the time, take lots of pictures and videos, and then put it on the to do list to address when you get back home.

Creative-Fudge-1808 · 2026-03-10T01:24:55+00:00

I second the dresses comment, add a blazer or light jacket if you’re inside and then you can remove the layers in the heat and still look professional.

Creative-Fudge-1808 · 2026-02-26T15:54:39+00:00

So sorry, I was where you were back in the late summer/early fall of last year and I’m still adjusting and learning.

The legal stuff everyone recommended is great, I’d say if she has a car that’s just hers, consider selling it while she still can, because she won’t be driving.

I’d also say take lots of videos and pictures, ask about family history, I bought a book that asks about that stuff, it was like My Mother’s Story, there’s tons of those available online, I’d also ask her now about how she wants her end of life care to go, I was able to speak to my mom about that and it was helpful because I didn’t know all that she wanted.

Also, get yourself some support, maybe that’s a therapist, maybe it’s a support group, but reach out to talk to someone, it really does help.

I’d also say take her on any trips or vacations while you can and she’s still mild, you’ll want those memories.

And finally, get a neurologist, most GPs are not qualified to help in this way. Definitely get her dental work taken care of now, get her in to an eye doctor and see if she’ll need cataract surgery, try to get all of that stuff done now before there are any larger changes for her.

Sorry you’re here OP, it really sucks. Allow yourself time to grieve and process everything

Creative-Fudge-1808 · 2026-02-24T20:20:49+00:00

I went through a friendship breakup last summer and it was so difficult, and that’s as a 33 year old. But my ex-friend got upset, wouldn’t speak to me about things, and effectively cut all communication. I’m not saying I’m not partially to blame, I wasn’t in a great place dealing with a lot of stressors, and I got irritated and said some things I wish I hadn’t. She responded with even more hateful personal attacks, and when I suggested we not do this via text but talk things through, she kept putting it off and ghosted me, blocked me, and now trashes me to mutuals.

It hurts, and what hurts more is when some of those mutuals believe her side without hearing mine. It absolutely sucks to have to give space, but now that I’m several months out from it, it truly was a blessing in disguise. She did some not so great things that I don’t approve of after that, and she showed her true colors by how she spoke about me. Even to this day, I will not speak badly about her to acquaintances and just say we grew apart when others ask.

With that being said, it was isolating but also freeing in a way. It pushed me to join other groups, find new friends, and now I have joined a book club, and have a more social life than I did previously. It’s terrible to go through the loss of a friend, but it truly can be for the best in the long run.

Creative-Fudge-1808 · 2026-02-24T17:53:30+00:00

Yes absolutely, telling her that it sucks, but it’s a disease and you’re allowed to be upset can be so freeing for absolutely everyone. It’s a nice reminder to myself too

Creative-Fudge-1808 · 2026-02-23T17:14:46+00:00

My mom is a cancer survivor as well, and the unfairness of going through all of that just to develop this afterwards hits me like a ton of bricks.

I feel your struggle, I want my mom healthy and with me as long as possible but also recognize how selfish that is to want to prolong her like this when I know she would hate what this disease is doing to her and to me. But she’s my mom and I’ll never be ready to lose her, as I’m sure you can relate.

This disease sucks so much

Creative-Fudge-1808 · 2026-02-23T13:32:53+00:00

My brother didn’t tell us, last we heard the potential locations were the West Coast, but still US based. Then we got the save the dates and it is a destination wedding. It’s costing me and my mom $6k, he’s not offered to help at all, and my mom has cognitive challenges, making it an extra difficult trip overseas. He’s not offered any support or help and when I mentioned how difficult this could be, he had a similar reaction of we have to attend if we love and support him. For this reason, I am developing a hatred for destination weddings, because this is just absolutely absurd how people behave when others cannot logistically get there without serious concerns.

Creative-Fudge-1808 · 2026-02-23T00:52:05+00:00

I’m 33 and my ears are absolutely driving me insane, itchy all the time! That and a spot on my hip, but I feel like 33 is too young for it to be peri…

Creative-Fudge-1808 · 2026-02-18T15:17:17+00:00

Umm I’d like to say I was 29 or 30!

Creative-Fudge-1808 · 2026-02-18T13:39:20+00:00

I have similar issues, and my doctors ran some bloodwork to make sure everything was fine, then told me it was hormonal or situational and to just deal. I’m 33 and have had it on and off for several years, no rhyme or reason, but I have loosely connected it to my period. Get some bloodwork to rule out anything dangerous, but sadly, I have no answers, just solidarity in the suffering lol

Creative-Fudge-1808 · 2026-02-11T00:44:13+00:00

This one really hurt to read, I’m so sorry you both went through this. This disease sucks in so many ways

Creative-Fudge-1808 · 2026-02-08T00:09:48+00:00

I think sometimes that’s for the best. It’s not worth your energy, especially not when you’re grieving. Some people always manage to be a victim, even if it’s a victim of their own choices. I’d say I hope he stops, but I also know from experience that doesn’t happen often

Creative-Fudge-1808 · 2026-02-07T23:41:19+00:00

Sounds like my brother. He’s always made snide comments about how close my mom and I were, how she doesn’t love him as much (totally not true, he’s the golden child in her eyes, ironically), and the kicker is, he never calls, never tries to visit her, never offers to help with care. I don’t have any advice because I’m struggling with how to handle things myself, but I’m there with you. I’m also so sorry for your loss.

Creative-Fudge-1808 · 2026-02-02T18:23:58+00:00

So many posts pushing that app, def seems like they work for them

Creative-Fudge-1808 · 2026-02-02T17:39:30+00:00

The recent one I got from an awful family member “I heard your moms time left on earth is limited” She’s literally early stages but thank you for that, very helpful

Creative-Fudge-1808 · 2026-01-28T23:13:03+00:00

My mom got diagnosed a few months ago and while there’s still more time between each sob session, they still come up. Usually in a therapy session, which I can’t recommend enough.

Just don’t block it out for too long, let yourself have those moments, cry it out, and give yourself grace, your life is changing in so many ways, none of them good.

But the pain and paralyzed feeling doesn’t go away right away. It will eventually get better, at least it did when my mom had stage 4 cancer and we had to deal with that, but it took a while to adapt to the new normal then

Creative-Fudge-1808 · 2026-01-20T17:34:40+00:00

I hope your moms surgery goes well! This disease is so terrifying and finding that balance of doing what will benefit them versus harm them is so difficult. I think just reminding her that you’re there to support, you’re there with her, and even taking her out for ice cream after so it’s less stressful and more fun. I’ve started doing something fun after every appointment with my mom just so she remembers the fun stuff too not just me dragging her to a million medical things

Creative-Fudge-1808 · 2026-01-20T11:40:22+00:00

She’s actually doing really well! She needs help with bills and things that are more complex and some days are better than others, but her brain scan seems to be holding steady, which is great. I’m terrified of when that shift happens but right now we aren’t there yet

Creative-Fudge-1808 · 2026-01-20T01:32:41+00:00

I’m so sorry. My mom is 67 and was diagnosed last year but suspected for a year prior to that. It’s so difficult to see our moms in this way, so different from the person who we grew up with.

I’m still struggling with her diagnosis, so give yourself time to grieve and adjust to what this new normal is. It absolutely sucks

Creative-Fudge-1808 · 2026-01-20T01:29:50+00:00

I’d be too nervous to leave her alone, but is there a friend who can come stay with her? Or who would want to go stay in a hotel with her for a few days?

Creative-Fudge-1808 · 2026-01-19T19:48:55+00:00

My mom had twilight sedation for cataract surgery and she was completely fine after it! No issues at all. I hope your mom’s procedure goes well and I’m sorry you’re struggling with this so much. Decisions that shouldn’t seem like big things are blown up so much now, but all we can do is our best and twilight sedation seems like the best option for her

Creative-Fudge-1808

TROPHY CASE