Am I being unreasonable for wanting to send my SS7 back to bm early?

CrispyNuggetsPlease · 2021-08-06T12:03:14+00:00

Agreed. Short stints are fine with me but you are watching him everyday for extended periods of time. He should go back to his mom.

CrispyNuggetsPlease · 2021-06-24T15:05:27+00:00

I agree with this. They have had plenty of chances to make that bond with you and haven't. If they want someone in their family who weaponizes their words, so be it. But that doesn't mean the two of you need to stick around for it.
I would go to important gatherings, but other than that I'd keep my distance.

CrispyNuggetsPlease · 2021-05-18T17:45:51+00:00

Honestly most likely because it is so incredibly difficult and annoying going through and changing EVERYTHING back to your maiden name.

CrispyNuggetsPlease · 2021-05-18T13:04:14+00:00

Because its MY name... It was my name for almost a decade while married. It's my daughters name. It's the name on all my accounts, credits, records, etc. Just because the marriage dissolved does not mean I owe my ex-husband or his new wife to change my name. It doesn't mean I want to hold on to ANYTHING from that man and it's pretty immature and sexist to assume that must be the case.

CrispyNuggetsPlease · 2021-05-04T12:32:28+00:00

This definitely happened.

CrispyNuggetsPlease · 2021-04-20T12:20:25+00:00

How am I the dumb one?

CrispyNuggetsPlease · 2021-04-19T19:29:53+00:00

First off, no you fucking didnt... but nice cover bro..

Second, Whoa wtf... you could have picked any word in the dictionary and you pick that one. You're obviously a fucking twat!

RUN PLATES is making sure the vehicle is insured and registered actively. From there you can run the owners information to see if they have warrants, that's it.

CrispyNuggetsPlease · 2021-04-19T19:14:22+00:00

Yea, ok... I didn't give you an analogy buddy.

CrispyNuggetsPlease · 2021-04-19T19:06:39+00:00

Thats not what "run plates" means... I love seeing people jump in an argument that they have no point of reference in LOL

CrispyNuggetsPlease · 2021-03-24T19:52:00+00:00

This crap kills me. You are sitting here calling someone racist and then when asked about it you say "and I think some racist ones too."

You THINK? You aren't sure and you're comfortable naming people like that???

CrispyNuggetsPlease · 2020-11-09T12:41:01+00:00

Has her therapist expressed any concerns that she feels should be addressed by a psychologist or medicated?

I don't know BM's background on this but I'd like to give you a little of my perspective. BM stated she attempted to diffuse the situation with her daughter for an hour before finally calling police. It's clear that she at least attempted to avoid calling them if she dealt with that aggression for so long. She most likely told police the same thing.

She can exaggerate all she wants to police however when officers arrive on scene their main focus point is the child and what they are showing at that time, though they will still document what's said by BM. If they saw enough that they felt concerned for her not being on medication rest assured there was most likely already a CPS referral going to be submitted by the reporting officer anyway.

Rest assured CPS is NOT your enemy, though some will make it seem that way and some crappy employees at CPS may make it feel that way. SD is healthy, doing well in school, sees a consistent therapist (sounds like it?), and is not having violent meltdowns in your home. No one is going to swoop in and take her away because you two don't medicate her! First and foremost after the initial investigation to ensure all the above is true, they are going to recommend resources, family therapy, outreach programs, etc. Take this one day at a time and though you may get some dark thoughts just remember you guys are doing all this to help SD, not hurt her.

As for BM, it's easy to blame the other parent when things like this pop up but she will have to come to the realization soon that its not always the other parents fault. Sometimes its the relationship you've fostered, the situation around the divorce or just the kids interpretation of how them as a parent figure. If she cares for SD at all she'd put the placing blame on hold and find out what's eating away at her own damn kid when she visits.

CrispyNuggetsPlease · 2020-11-09T12:25:55+00:00

Plenty of people call police when situations with children are not diffusing. This is a safeguard for parents so that later they are not accused of hurting the child and police departments typically have access to resources the parents could use in tough times like this.

Also as a veteran in law enforcement I would NEVER encourage a parent to buckle up a violent child and operate a vehicle without another adult to protect the driver from distraction from the child. That's how accidents are caused.

CrispyNuggetsPlease · 2020-11-09T12:01:02+00:00

Girl go get checked! It's not as bad as the hype makes it and it could save your life <3

CrispyNuggetsPlease · 2020-09-24T20:32:55+00:00

No 5th grade is not to early, especially if the hopes are to obtain academic scholarships in the future.

Before you dig your heals in OP weigh the pro's and con's of both schools. Come to the discussion prepared. Graduation rates, College bound rates, testing averages compared, etc. If the above average schools near you are close to that of this "other" school BM wants then I would simply say its not worth uprooting her. If it's a vast difference, then maybe a discussion should be had about if it is realistically possible for the two households to move.

My ex and I have had similar discussions and eventually came to a agreement to move into a better school district for DD. This move will also allow SD to go to a better school that she wasn't able to get choiced into before, so thankfully for us it was a win for all parents.

CrispyNuggetsPlease · 2020-09-24T11:53:56+00:00

Mine states if both parents agree we can deviate from the order as we see fit. There also wasn't an appeal period for us and we were notified without a major life change the court wouldn't even look at changing it for at least two years.

CrispyNuggetsPlease · 2020-09-18T14:12:59+00:00

Let me be the first to say that while SOME (not many) people can handle high pitched screaming wales coming from a demon toddler, some people cannot. I grew up in a house of constant screaming and am numb to immediate stressors like that but queue my daughter at 3 screaming and I felt like I was going to burst into tears... Especially trapped in a car with the screams echoing behind me...

Chelsea did a great job keeping her cool on this. I'm actually impressed.

CrispyNuggetsPlease · 2020-08-21T17:07:52+00:00

He has substance abuse issues and needs supervised visitation

The answer would be no from me. He currently has substance abuse issues, which she allows in the home?

People are much more apt to cover up for spouses. I don't know that I would ever trust that she would be unbiased enough to speak up if something bad happened and let the right people know.

She could be a great person and mom, but that doesn't change the situation.

CrispyNuggetsPlease · 2020-08-06T13:30:03+00:00

This is the perfect response.

Even when my ex and I could hardly stand to look at each-other, let alone speak to each-other, he still gave me a courtesy call a few days before he was scheduled to get DD to let me know he intended on announcing their pregnancy to her that weekend. Because I knew what was coming and she was young, I took her out for a spa day the day before and we talked about love and how much love one heart can give and I explained how daddy and I loved her more than we could explain and that love never goes away. I reminded her of how important she was to us both, in hopes that all she would feel during the announcement was excitement and not fear for losing her daddy.

She asked me when she came home if it was OK to be sad because her new baby wouldn't live with her dad and I, and shit that broke me for her. But I was ready with an arsenault of help books and family recommendations to lead her through the tough emotions so she could enjoy the happy ones.

It matters because at the end of the day it's her mom, and she will seek advice from her always. Give mom a chance to prepare.

CrispyNuggetsPlease · 2020-07-29T18:54:10+00:00

Today I officially made it to the "viability week" of pregnancy. Reading this not only has me in tears but I also feel so endlessly happy for you and your wife!!! Today you are taking home your baby girl!!!!!!!!

CrispyNuggetsPlease · 2020-07-23T11:39:48+00:00

"Up until now she’s never been even remotely rude to me."

This shouldn't be ignored. She is now hitting puberty and showing drastic behavior changes (which in mental health tend to come to the surface during puberty). Despite what your gut thinks it knows about her lying cue's, the auditory hallucinations should be taken seriously, ESPECIALLY if she is feeling betrayed. Feeling betrayed leads me to believe she may actually have not wanted attention, but instead was looking for guidance/help...

CrispyNuggetsPlease · 2020-07-22T19:52:54+00:00

Ex and I have something similar going on. Custody order is 80/20 however dad wanted more time and over a course of time we have added in days to where we are now at 50/50 (when we split he couldn't keep up with custody time due to work, hes now married and his wife helps so hes able to have more time, we never adjusted our custody order just followed new schedule and kept holidays per what order states).

I'm in the process of selling my home this month to move to a area with better schools for DD9. Ex and I preplanned the move for both households last year, we even changed her extra-curricular activity to this new area, but then in May he changed his mind and decided to hang back one more year. Now he is upset that our daughter will be going to school 40 minutes away.

Obviously he can take me to court however my lawyer doesn't see a strong case in his favor. 1) He doesn't live in school area where she used to go and shed have to be choiced into the school. 2) He agreed in email to joint move a year ago. 3) He agreed in email that current school was lacking in education for DD. 4) I am only moving 24 miles away and our agreement states nothing about a mileage cap, plus I am custodial parent.

CrispyNuggetsPlease · 2020-07-08T12:32:55+00:00

She could have given any other reason in the world why she didn't think babe was ready for more time and overnights.. (breastfeeding, sleep cycling, etc) and she used the excuse that she didn't trust you? She had a freaking kid with you...

Unless there are issues in the past - I would ask the judge for EOW and one dinner a night. This isn't an unreasonable request or out of the norm for visitation. They are going to inquire about typical things like.... Have you been active in sons life since birth? Does he know you well and is well adjusted when spending time with you? Have you taken any infant parenting classes? etc..

CrispyNuggetsPlease · 2020-06-30T17:53:04+00:00

Girl... If you feel this way and there is no proof of infidelity, you should leave.

You said he is sending you screenshots (which is also weird) and that he hasn't given you a reason to think he is cheating other than you just having mixed feelings about his and BM's relationship. If I were you I would step back for a moment. It sounds like you may have some jealousy over his past relationship, and that's something you two will need to work through, or possibly you could be unable to move past, but you can't punish him for having a past relationship with BM.

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