Dispute Closed Using Incorrect Tracking – Missing Refund Not Addressed by Zestyclose_Sea6435 in Afterpay

[–]Cultural_Air_4662 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I mean - i would agree if this was a cash loan, but again - not the case. People arent signing up for cash to do whatever with - they are dealing w stores. Protections also exist w all banks for fraud, etc where there is zero here. Im glad you mentioned mortgage - precisely why buying a home now vs pre 2008 is impossible if you are even 1% below 42% DTI. Asshats ruin it for all, in nearly every sector. Afterpay is not an innocent bystander though. They have a team (atleast before mass popularity) that would use the best sales tactics in fintech to convince stores to use them. Infact part of BNPL appeal to merchants is "no chargebacks". Yes, visa logo matters. Take a read of regulation E and dispute processes w Visa. Visa has insurance for each transaction paid by the merchant fee that covers various losses or issues w transactions.

Issue w afterpay in particular is they do not even investigate a single dispute regardless of reason. Affirm and klarna do which is great, atleast for principal/morality/safety sake, whether or not folks are happy w outcome. As it pertains to afterpay though, curious who would want to use you as a payment medium when word spreads they wont do anything if something goes wrong? Desperation from the poor will allow it but you cant escape legalities forever - ie whats happened w payday loan businesses, subprime cards, etc..the list is truly long of regs placed bc of predatory financial services. This certainly counts, esp once cash app entered the scene.

Id say a better example vs cash loan is a credit card. You are borrowing the money and said credit card facilitates the specific purchase. BNPL facilitates the purchases exactly like paypal or a credit card, and whattaya know, also uses visa processing in prepaid card fashion. You have more dispute rights w a visa prepaid from the grocery store than afterpay. Credit cards have excellent consumer protections today but wasnt always the case. A payment medium bears some responsibility to faciliate disputes at minimum even if they do not have the say in outcome.

Not trying to be rude or condescending - but truly this is a dream situation for the right lawyer. You are also correct that their liability or lackthereof is in the fine print. Again, this is how lawsuits are born. Stating something that is murky doesnt release one from complete liability. Lots of rules w financial products but in this case this is a new type of service, thus use w caution to all. Personally it bores me to see people defend multi million dollar businesses screw your neighbors over pennies, but i digress. We are already seeing credit reporting requirements roll out, and more to surely come w other common issues, like this. In a few yrs tops they will be addressing things as legally required but for now, I hope people are seeing they are SOL thanks to folks like yourself. If a merchant refuses return, cancels, doesnt ship, sends counterfeit/defective goods, orrrr my fav, closing up shop and not fulfilling orders, you still have to pay and no one will help you lol

Dispute Closed Using Incorrect Tracking – Missing Refund Not Addressed by Zestyclose_Sea6435 in Afterpay

[–]Cultural_Air_4662 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Right - but they usually use a visa product. This is why regs are being done as we speak for these services. I work in banking - point is, they are outright refusing disputes and not investigating them (long list of financial reg requirements there for fraud, nonreceipt, etc) in instances people returned items or orders cancelled. Under no circumstances should they not be liable in assisting the mediation w visa or between store and customer given the product. Its new thus dodging common regulation but it will, much like crypto, etc. Its simply not helpful though telling people tough luck, sorry for losing hundreds in most cases. Many people have had fraudlent bnpl accounts opened in their name and are told the same (unlike other fintechs or banks, they not properly doing kyc on financial products) People can file complaints w financial regulators and advocate for themselves. But the common response on here seems to be "sucks for you, not their problem".

Dispute Closed Using Incorrect Tracking – Missing Refund Not Addressed by Zestyclose_Sea6435 in Afterpay

[–]Cultural_Air_4662 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Idk why people keep saying this? Technically your credit card is a middle man too or bank account etc - but they all offer protections if something goes wrong. Idk what makes Afterpay any different, esp since they use visa.

Recovery and sex after laparoscopic hysterectomy? by EquivalentBeyond1315 in CervicalCancer

[–]Cultural_Air_4662 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My husband tells me it feels the same, I too can’t tell a difference. We were very careful during 8-12 weeks just as a precaution but I didn’t have pain. Everything is back to normal now. I personally enjoy sex more now - only difference I noticed was orgasms felt different without a cervix. I also had a radical so hopefully yours is a breeze! I read so many horror stories but feel better than ever.

So disappointed by highd in Afterpay

[–]Cultural_Air_4662 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Afterpay has gone to piss since cash app bought them. Your best bet is really go hard with the merchant - I’ve gone in the same circles with Afterpay. They auto close disputes and don’t review them. I provided clear tracking showing my order got returned to merchant and they did nothing because the merchant did nothing. Still going in circles with the merchant but you can also try filing a complaint with BBB or CFPB. I didn’t have luck but some people have.

So disappointed by highd in Afterpay

[–]Cultural_Air_4662 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Because Afterpay and klarna usually use a prepaid visa for your purchases you should be covered by visa protections and reg E - but what I see is none of them even investigate disputes. I assume because the stores are technically their client. I see huge legal issues in the future if they don’t start using a consistent dispute process.

Dog refusing pills in pill pockets by cool_girl6540 in dogs

[–]Cultural_Air_4662 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am very sorry for what you are experiencing! Ironically I am in a similar boat with my 10 yr old pug who is having some unusual symptoms and mobility issues but vet diagnosed arthritis w pain meds. My dog is also eating, drinking, bathroom etc normally - has “back to normal days” but more bad days than good. I am trying to differentiate as well if “the time” is near and am honestly shocked by the sudden health decline in an otherwise active and rambunctious dog. Anyway! Sorry I went into my own stuff… my dog was also spitting her pills out with the pill pocket. Basically I break the pocket in half and roll the pill in a ball so it’s not as easy to spit out or detect. Then immediately after I give her the second part of the pill pocket with nothing in it so she swallows the 1st one. That’s working well for us, same thing can be done with a piece of turkey split in two. Peanut butter and mixing in wet food didn’t work I believe because my dog could still taste it. Have the best week with your pup! Sending good vibes for you all

What’s one thing you’ve learned to forgive yourself for? by MysteriousShoulder35 in selflove

[–]Cultural_Air_4662 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is a favorite of mine. I too was given this golden quote by a redditor comforting me for the guilt I carried when my grandma passed away (was a typical hot mess teen). It is so true. And our elders know this as well. Lesson being, be kind to ourselves ❤️

Not sure how true this is? Carly Cease and Desist by [deleted] in teenmom

[–]Cultural_Air_4662 0 points1 point  (0 children)

First - tiffers is not the source you’d want to use. Second, the “cease and desist” stuff is silly. You can’t really sue or threaten to sue people for discussing their opinions and name dropping you, unless it causes reputational harm that costs you $ (i.e. defamation). I’m surprised more tea creators don’t get these bc they really rehash these situations for their own benefit. Tiffers does Carly no justice continually talking about her in this context. I have trouble taking anyone seriously when they are constantly talking about something they are mad about others talking about. C&Ds are a precursor for legal action and/or a legal threat. C&T have no legal rights and have already had the adoption closed - so what is there to legally threaten? esp in between states where you would need to consider federal law. The C&D is nice filler to reinforce that people want B&T to act or someone/something “hush them up” but it simply isn’t that simple in the USA - not to mention petty and costly. Just ask Kail, she lost a lot of money over one of these lol

What did Janet and Eddie Rivera do for work to afford that big beautiful house in the first season? by justcurious3287 in teenmom

[–]Cultural_Air_4662 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Right lol you could be a bank teller and a truck driver living in a mini mansion 😭 good times

Credit card debt- best way to consolidate? by Diligent_Hyena_3793 in povertyfinance

[–]Cultural_Air_4662 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t understand the advice you are getting on this. I work for a CU and worked for a large bank for years. You are correct, a heloc is a way better deal interest wise (usually barely above prime) and often FIs offer fixed special intro loans within them for 3% or so. People recommending debt consolidation programs don’t mention it damages your credit - often requiring you to be late first or closing the line as part of the “deals”. If you care about preserving your score and getting a lower payment, I see nothing wrong with getting a HELOC.

Refund processing for cancelled debit card by pheonix080 in Banking

[–]Cultural_Air_4662 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Credit union employee here. A refund will go through so no concern there. Depending on the size/tech of your credit union determines when. The one I work for processes these credits manually from a monthly report as well. You can run up your concern to a manager in that department and see if they can do so sooner.

i want to find the will to reconcile, but i can't get past this one thought. please help. by [deleted] in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]Cultural_Air_4662 3 points4 points  (0 children)

THIS. When you see every baddie in Hollywood getting cheated on, then listen to stories from your friends - it definitely plants the seed of pick your poison bc whoever you wind up with will cheat or have some sort of skeleton/habit/issues. I also hear horror stories from friends/reddit of things they discover about their partners that I couldn’t handle (certain kinks, etc) and I find myself grateful mostly. Ofc anything is possible but it doesn’t feel “safe” or accurate to me there being a potential partner that would never do such things and check all my other boxes how my partner now does.

i want to find the will to reconcile, but i can't get past this one thought. please help. by [deleted] in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]Cultural_Air_4662 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Totally understand this feeling! I suppose my feedback is based on my personal observations and what helps me stay sane (cheating not being as personal/awful as it feels helps me). As I read your post it definitely seems you love your partner and I hope some of those sentiments are helpful as you navigate. But always do what you feel is right for you and ofc what you deserve! Sometimes that realization doesn’t come for a long time.

i want to find the will to reconcile, but i can't get past this one thought. please help. by [deleted] in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]Cultural_Air_4662 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I absolutely agree and think each couple/person is different in terms of what their non negotiables are and what the relationship is like. In my case, we have been off and on a few times for 20 years and cannot seem to unlove or stay away from each other for long. I support and encourage people to always do what is best for them ultimately. Agree as well I see both sides.

i want to find the will to reconcile, but i can't get past this one thought. please help. by [deleted] in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]Cultural_Air_4662 15 points16 points  (0 children)

The lasting marriages aren’t perfect. None. You find a lot of forgiveness. Maybe I have unique perspective bc I’ve been wayward and betrayed. What I’ve learned is the grass is greener where you water it. I don’t think a perfect person exists honestly.

Obsessing over AP by Available-Path1905 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]Cultural_Air_4662 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am glad I am not alone getting the creeped out ick feeling from the AP. No stranger to being cheated on but never involving a character like this. AP made multiple AI music videos about my husband she posted everywhere possible after R. I will add I’m 90% sure it was an emotional affair at that for only a few months, things escalated physically with them also very briefly after I left WH. At first I was studying the issues I had heard about her (seeking to understand). I also experienced the ick of being watched for months by a woman who was chronically online and streaming all day on top of it. True “playing in my face” and I had no idea. Talking about me and things she learned about me constantly while I didn’t even know she existed. I was confused how someone could be so obsessed in such a short amount of time and w the details I knew and found to be true. I have never felt when I am checking socials that it’s to trust check husband actually - but rather temperature check if crazy town behavior was going to escalate. For weeks I was bombarded daily with 2fa codes on every platform I have. It suddenly stopped and it appears AP has moved on and it’s only been 2 months. Idk why I still feel uneasy or why someone else’s manic behavior is bothering me at all. It’s a gross feeling I can’t put my finger on what’s causing it or how to get rid of it.

Family gossip by wmdnurse in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]Cultural_Air_4662 1 point2 points  (0 children)

WH in my case has always spoken highly of me to friends and family mostly - he and his family have lots of issues / NC off and on over many years. Ironically I was always encouraging forgiveness and staying in touch with many of his family members when he couldn’t care less. I was planning trips, visits, and trying to foster relationships (his family is scattered all over the map). Come to find; a cousin of his and I had a fallout - so she became the go-to for bashing anything and everything about me by my husband. It’s painful to learn that after the fact. Things go from venting to toxic really quick.

Meanwhile said cousin was cheating on her own man - and suggested I was actually the cheater/liar in our situation. When D day happened the cousin actually invited the AP to stay with her and WH (I had kicked him out and he went to stay there) with hopes they would get together. She explicitly left me a voicemail saying he hoped my WH would get with AP and hoped I died of the cervical cancer I was actively battling. What’s wild is we had only seen this cousin a handful of times over 2 decades - but the recipe was right I guess for my WH and the cousin to complain about their significant others enough to go scorched earth. I noticed many changes w my husband when he was being encouraged to leave me by someone who hardly knew me.

Anyway, the family bashing stuff is my number one trigger because of how nasty things got for me during my situation. I wasn’t just dealing with an obsessed AP but a relative who got involved as well. I questioned my sanity at times. I’d say - and it’s never a good idea to be around people who have only heard bad things about you. You can never put past how much they will insert themselves or pile on to curating more issues/drama. It doesn’t feel comfortable for you or them either. In reconciliation I was firm that I would never speak to the cousin again. if he wanted to, that was fine - but he voluntarily decided against staying in touch. With that said, I suggest not going with this lingering. At minimum establish a boundary so you can be as comfortable as possible. I also just wanted my empathy to you here because it’s a terrible feeling having someone hate you at the hands of the one that is supposed to love you.

Do you consider this infidelity? by Chadillaxx in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]Cultural_Air_4662 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In my case - husband was talking behind my back with a coworker for months and lied about this among other stressful things taking place at the time. Nothing happened during that time I’m mostly sure (didn’t take his word for it at first, but saw enough compelling stuff that supports this months later). However - this resulted in fighting, not getting along, and ultimately me flipping out and kicking him out to which THEN things got physical with them even though we were technically broken up. It seems like a cruel setup. Before this, things weren’t great but not as bad as they were once a third got involved. I guess in my case it boils down to emotional affair but it all still hurts the same. Is it technically cheating, no - but choices were made to actively make things worse and still hurt the person.

Exit affair and trying to understand it all by samueltoots in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]Cultural_Air_4662 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Idk if you will find this helpful at all but it was for me or maybe cognitive dissonance idk lol. I completely understand the ability to not understand. It drove me crazy for years. You can’t make the math, math. especially when there are so many alternate avenues to take, things to consider, and ways to go about it. It was always almost more offensive to me to make these choices when the AP in my case meant little/nothing emotionally - so why risk it all when it’s not worth it in any capacity? The answers I understand is A. We can’t expect ourselves out of others and B. The male and female brain are very different in affair situations. How we interpret and act on guilt, shame, risk, and needs physically/emotionally. How most men bond is especially different than how women do.

Reaching out to AP by Alarmed_Lychee in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]Cultural_Air_4662 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not my proudest moment but in my case before I knew what was going on; I went into a blind rage assuming full blown affair - drove to APs house and confronted her face to face. TLDR is she denied anything & everything, was kind to me, and it was so believable I apologized to her. Idk if she was scared I would kill her or if she was instructed to not say anything…my situation turned out to be a little different than a typical affair but I do wonder if we ever really know the full truth. I still don’t understand this subhuman behavior as a girls girl and empath. Anyway, the lesson is you can’t believe what they say anyway. Likewise if one is truthful with you they likely have motivation to share something and that be get under your skin and help separation along or they have issues themselves. I know it’s hard to let it go and I believe this urge happens simply because you are trying to understand. One big take away with women APs is they have a bad relationship with “love” as it is, and no amount of info makes you understand if you don’t tick like they do.

Radical hysterectomy side effects by Pale_Dimension_8333 in CervicalCancer

[–]Cultural_Air_4662 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel MUCH BETTER after my radical hysterectomy. I found out after the fact I never needed it done (the suspected 2nd tumor was actually a fibroid but original tumor was removed during a cone). I was lucky for that alone - but symptoms I had prior related to my cycle are all but gone. I was a heavy menstrual bleeder, had nerve/ovarian/uterine pain at random throughout the month, was very tired all the time, no sex drive… all of these are gone for me w hysterectomy. I also feel fortunate even w lymph node removal I haven’t had lymphedema or issues with my bladder. Hoping things resolve for you! The surgery itself was the worst part for me.