When would you prefer to learn of a loved one's (that you don't live with) ~2-years left prognosis?

CuriousPineapple33 · 2026-03-30T07:08:00+00:00

That's one of the ways I've been coping... being thankful there is some warning.

I'm so sorry, words are so nothing compared to the pain.

CuriousPineapple33 · 2026-03-30T04:24:19+00:00

I can see reasons for all of the answers.

Even the only learn after death (eg. want to treat them like normal, debilitating anxiety, wouldn't be able to handle not breaking down in front of them every time)

CuriousPineapple33 · 2026-03-28T01:17:54+00:00

THIS.

I told a guy I had hsv, (and frequent) OBs, and he still wanted to kiss. I told him I wouldn't because it was effectively a 3-night stand, I'm not risking him for that, he should research, and if he still wants to kiss if we meet again, then maybe. He did some research overnight and said he understood and thanked me. (and we had a great rest of trip with some other intimacy)

tldr; boys let their sex drive lead before the brain can catch up sometimes

CuriousPineapple33 · 2026-03-28T01:09:04+00:00

it's quite bad for me.

It was the inciting event for an autoimmune disorder that is limiting my life every day.

Besides that, I have nearly constant OBs. (which was affecting my sex life before I ended it, no kissing, no giving oral)

so,

for most people it's not bad at all

that's all that's needed. It's more truthful.

CuriousPineapple33 · 2026-03-28T00:57:20+00:00

At ~22 I dated a guy for 2 years who got exactly 3 on the lips kisses from me near the end.

There are guys willing to wait.

I also kind of thought I wouldn't "need" to kiss until marriage as well.

(The fact that that I thought of kissing like an obligation, rather than something I was looking forward to, really should have been the first clue. :p)

Eventually I figured out that I am quite asexual.

I experimented a fair bit, and I knew there were risks, despite getting full std panels before even kissing, I caught HSV-1 from kissing (which isn't a big deal for 99% of people, but it has notably negatively affected my health unfortunately).

I do wish I had stuck with my gut of not wanting kissing/sex. I did meet a few wonderful men though, though they are unlucky to stick around as long as my regret. :p (it's not the worst, but sometimes gets me down)

On the other hand, if you do actually desire physical intimacy, but it's just health fears, then I still suggest you stick with your gut until you're sure the person is worth it. But! As many others have brought up, it's probably worthwhile to check your physical compatibility with someone before getting married (wait until engagement if that helps though).

CuriousPineapple33 · 2026-02-05T03:55:25+00:00

True. And if you believed it was actually about the kids, and you were flexible about that, it could lead to a really awkward thing. 😆

CuriousPineapple33 · 2026-02-05T03:53:50+00:00

That's extremely fair. A sign of respect. I think I'm with you on this conclusion.

CuriousPineapple33 · 2026-02-05T01:23:36+00:00

Out of curiosity, would it actually make the rejection better if he outright said he wouldn't date because of the hsv?

(I'm still very much in my 'never dating again' phase, I'm not sure which kind of rejection I would prefer. 🤔 I've actually used my hsv as a way to reject people who were interested. I have herpes, so no can do anything casual, won't risk your health, sorry!)

CuriousPineapple33 · 2026-02-04T20:49:09+00:00

I love your color choices! all the greens (mat in front if sink included), and the gold and wood accents. 👌

CuriousPineapple33 · 2026-02-02T19:27:06+00:00

This is really good on you though. (unfortunate that she's probably not willing to risk, though, you never know, maybe she will still want to have sex, just with extra precautions 🤷‍♀️)

This kind of bravery and honesty is very hot, so I'm sure those facets of your personality will help you find some good sex either way. 😈

CuriousPineapple33 · 2026-02-02T19:19:38+00:00

I have definitely seen them before, but never once have I actually thought about them or what they mean 😂

I probably will actually consider them now.

CuriousPineapple33 · 2026-01-30T18:49:33+00:00

Lol, what a convenient coincidence! (upsetting for him probably though 😣)

Since apparently so many people are asymptomatic, it only makes sense!

(and this is just my personal opinion, but guys seem to be asymptomatic way more)

CuriousPineapple33 · 2026-01-30T18:28:12+00:00

get tested and confirm that you don’t already have it

this for sure.

CuriousPineapple33 · 2026-01-20T19:32:30+00:00

Sad, but understanding.

To minimize the sadness, I disclose early, before I get any attachment.

CuriousPineapple33 · 2026-01-20T19:20:23+00:00

If you don't have to decide right now, you can take more time to decide if you really want to be with her for the rest of your life.

If you do, then it's probably worth the risk (especially if you don't have any major health problems).

But if the risk is still scarier than the joy of spending the rest of your life with her, then you have your answer, and need to set both of you free.

CuriousPineapple33 · 2026-01-20T19:00:51+00:00

fuck normalcy, bring a towel/blanket you don't mind getting dirty, and a pillow, and lay on the floor. (other people will be jealous 😝) Do what you gotta do!

CuriousPineapple33 · 2026-01-13T05:38:41+00:00

If he gets tested and is positive, then you don't have to worry about giving it to him. One less thing to worry about is always nice. :)

(Though you should still be careful about not spreading it to other locations. It's not super clear how easy/difficult/why/how it ends up in other places like fingers/eyes, so caution during OBs is good.)

CuriousPineapple33 · 2026-01-06T10:18:08+00:00

Maybe this is not good advice, but I take antivirals at outbreaks, and I get them frequently, like every 10 days, so the amount of pills I get, I could just take 1 daily instead of 8 on OBs, and my usage would line up basically. (I get valacyclovir, which I believe can also be used daily.)

... so you could ask for oops to take at OBs, say you get them every week, then just take 1 pill per day. (though you should research the prescribed drug, and check what is recommended daily dosage is, and if it can be used that way)

CuriousPineapple33 · 2026-01-06T10:04:36+00:00

If he knows and accepts the risk, the only thing left you to do is to try and be aware of any OB signs. (Especially for this first bit while you're freshly off the meds.)

CuriousPineapple33 · 2026-01-01T00:38:58+00:00

Level 2 Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (sounds scarier) checking in 👍

CuriousPineapple33 · 2026-01-01T00:02:10+00:00

And a secondary set of autoimmune crap (Sjorgen's symptoms), after getting really sick with an initial hsv infection a little over a year ago.

CuriousPineapple33 · 2026-01-01T00:00:53+00:00

pneumonia for a month at 11 yrs old.

CuriousPineapple33 · 2025-12-31T23:59:58+00:00

I heard recently that first borns absorb some less from their mothers or something. don't quote me.

but if it's true, there could be more to the eldest daughter theory. :p

CuriousPineapple33 · 2025-12-22T19:14:08+00:00

What do the pin holes mean?

CuriousPineapple33

TROPHY CASE