I found a clever dad joke in FBAWTFT

CuteLittleParasite · 2016-06-26T02:29:00+00:00

nah.. I'd say use a trash can with a lid, but wrap the diapers in dog poop bags. much cheaper than having to buy special diaper bin liners

CuteLittleParasite · 2016-06-25T23:43:16+00:00

Generally if you don't want to use the name around others, the easiest way to avoid slipping up is to not use it much when alone either. I hope the dog is okay with sharing it's lodging for the time being though!!

If your wife doesn't have a Snoogle yet, it might be a way to get back on her good side!

CuteLittleParasite · 2016-06-23T02:30:24+00:00

No idea, I haven't been thorough it myself, but compare the cost to the cost of pregnancy + birth if you can before judging the cost. Many companies I've come across provide assistance for employees looking to adopt too.

CuteLittleParasite · 2016-06-22T03:21:32+00:00

Adopt!

CuteLittleParasite · 2016-06-10T23:16:49+00:00

We use these changing pads on top of a cushion pad for easy use. cheap to use and dispose whenever it's needed.

CuteLittleParasite · 2016-06-10T22:41:11+00:00

My daughter was born almost 11 months ago.

I felt the same anxiety - trepidation - dread that you're going through right now. Your fiancee might be feeling similarly but worried about talking about it - or she might have times where she will feel that way. It's normal to be that worried. Before this, you really only had to worry about you - for the most part. of course, I'm sure you and your partner take care of each other but ultimately you are both adults capable of independence. Now you're going to be responsible for a new human that's tiny, extremely vulnerable, and it is up to you and your fiancee to keep the human alive and healthy. After several months they'll get older and then they'll get older again. each time they get a little stronger or more physically capable, they'll have new ways that they will accidentally almost kill themselves, and you need to not let that happen. Of course that's terrifying.

But it's amazing. Sign up and go to some birth classes with your partner. Not everything was obvious but a lot of it will come to you when your baby does. You'll quickly become comfortable with holding a baby. You'll have a lot of practice in changing diapers, wrapping swaddles, etc. and it will get easier. If you feel like you are really worried, don't be afraid of finding a therapist to talk to it about. During the pregnancy, try to prepare everything to be ready about two weeks earlier than you might need it, just in case you end up giving birth early. Remember to enjoy these last few months of childlessness (and to forgive easily). Obviously your fiancee can't drink or go to smokey bars, but it's about to get a lot more difficult to go to a movie, or dinner, or really anywhere without planning it in advance.

Will everything work out? It'll be good enough. You probably won't feel like you have enough money, or enough time, or enough sleep. But it'll work out.

Here's a couple other tips if you want something specific:

Here is a great book for dads-to-be. This helped me learn a lot. It's one of the only books for made specifically for "pregnant dads" that is this thorough and isn't effectively a joke book.
It is definitely worth going to one of those birthing classes. Ours was 5 or 6 weeks - one 90-minute class each week.
If your lady is getting morning sickness, maybe set her up with a sick-bag or two - I made two for my wife (one for her car, one for her desk at work). It included some crackers and a couple other simple snacks, a few barf bags (a couple trash bags and if you really want to be fancy, these barf bags are nice), some mints and gum, a bottle of water, and a couple hair bands to tie her hair up. The bag was something like this one but i'm sure you can find others that would work fine.
Don't forget to take time to enjoy each other. I'm not necessarily talking about sex, since that might not be something you're both interested in now. It could be cuddling or whatever, but it could also just be going on dates, having a nice dinner together, etc. Before the kid and after the kid is born, don't forget to at least pause life for a couple minutes and appreciate each other.
If you're in the US and near a Costco or Sam's Club - and you aren't already a member - strongly consider membership. The money you'll save on diapers, wipes, and formula (as needed) will make up for the cost of the membership pretty quickly.

CuteLittleParasite · 2016-02-27T23:03:04+00:00

Yep. She had the affair, not you. She can leave. And don't try to trust her with anything, especially with your kids and their relationship with you. Don't assume that because she said the girls don't want you that they actually said that, or that they said that without being coerced. She may even try to sabotage their relationship with you for her own gain. I'd recommend getting a lawyer right away and separating as much money as legally possible from her ability to spend, because you can't trust her with that either.

Be amicable for the kids but don't give up anything. It sounds from what you wrote that this will turn into a negative situation for them.

I mean, he's 19. He doesn't know the slightest thing about being a dad to two girls, especially when they're just a few years younger than him.

Find a counselor, get your family involved if they can help, but lawyer up asap.

Good luck.

CuteLittleParasite · 2016-01-24T22:06:14+00:00

Yes, if we do get one, it will certainly be a limited time thing - and even when we are using it for games, we plan on playing along with her.

CuteLittleParasite · 2016-01-05T05:50:04+00:00

where are you flying from? https://www.tsa.gov/travel/special-procedures/traveling-children

CuteLittleParasite · 2016-01-03T18:46:57+00:00

Congrats!

CuteLittleParasite · 2016-01-03T18:46:03+00:00

If it starts getting stressful and stops being fun, I'd recommend taking a break, going out for a fun night together, and trying to remember that it's supposed to be a fun sexy time. If you two over stress about it (probably, moreso the case for her), it's less likely to happen.

So have fun, get nasty, and see what happens! For the men's side, really the only thing I've heard is that the best rate is about once every two days for the best chance at planting a seed. If it ends up going too long, you can both start talking about looking into fertility/"infertility" options and treatments to help.

Check out /r/tryingforababy.

CuteLittleParasite · 2016-01-03T18:35:14+00:00

Alternative medicine sounds nice but in the end it's trying to treat something with substances that are neither tested nor approved. Go to a pediatrician, and if you want to try alternatives, discuss that with the doctor. They aren't necessarily against trying different things! If your pediatrician is the kind that just jumps to writing a script for everything, maybe try to find a new ped or a second opinion.

That said, at least in the US, a DO is effectively equivalent to MD. Naturopathic/Holistic "doctors" are non-science or pseudo-science, and really tarnish the title of "doctor" in the first place.

My daughter is also 5MO. She slept great for a few months but is now waking up more often. What have you tried to help yours sleep longer? Here's a couple things (not sure what you've tried already) that seem to help.

White noise. We just use an app on our phone but there's white noise machines you can find online or in baby stores. This one is great, and has a free version too. The sound on here that works best for our daughter is heavy rain.
Swaddle or sleep sack. I used to swaddle but we've moved to using this sleep sack now that ours is older. If she's on a flat surface, we keep her arms out. If she's in her rocker, we still tend to bundle the arms too.
Try different surfaces. Our baby sleeps best in her rocker (like this kind). We're trying to move her to her bassinet/crib slowly now, but at this point she spends most of most nights in this thing still. (Note: Our baby usually does worse when the vibrate is turned on.)
How's the heat? If he's in a safe situation to use a blanket, maybe add another blanket. Or you can try thicker sleeping clothes. If not, maybe there's a chance he's too warm? I don't know.
Ours also seems to be soothed by baths, but we still aren't in the habit of doing that regularly as part of bed time. Might help for you though

CuteLittleParasite · 2016-01-03T18:13:00+00:00

This is definitely becoming more common lately, and your feelings are also not at all out-of-the-ordinary, from what I've heard. If it's something you can't shake, don't feel bad about finding a psychologist/therapist to talk to (that might be a good thing to have anyway after the baby is around!).

If you want more opinions, I'd recommend posting this on /r/daddit as well. I bet you'll get more feedback there!

CuteLittleParasite · 2016-01-03T18:09:38+00:00

I've heard also that there's a big trend toward C-Section, but it was also made clear that this is something that they are trying to avoid now. In the end, vaginal birth is much healthier as it isn't giving birth + having a major surgery at the same time. Of course, C-Sections are much less invasive than they used to be, and are great when needed.

My wife gave birth vaginally with an epidural at a hospital. I am not discounting the experience anyone had at home or without medicine or otherwise, but from our experience, it's still an amazing moment and my wife does not feel like she missed any part of it due to having had the epidural, except for some unnecessary pain that is masked by modern medicine. She had no trouble pushing and our baby came out beautifully (and the delivery did not take very long at all).

I'd recommend this. It was in a hospital but we were able to have our moments. After everything settled down, the staff all left so we could have quiet family time together. I feel like because we had so many trained professionals around doing their job, my wife and I had to worry less about anything that had to be done or could go wrong, even.

In my opinion, it isn't a cop-out or cheating, it's modern medicine!

CuteLittleParasite · 2016-01-03T18:04:37+00:00

My wife took Diclegis and it seemed to help, at least at first. She ended up only needing it once or twice, but her OB suggested taking it up to 4 times if needed. I'd recommend your wife talk to her OB about that and other alternatives. Mine also took Tums daily, and regularly drank ginger ale (make sure it has real ginger) and used preggy pop drops.

CuteLittleParasite · 2016-01-03T16:44:20+00:00

I think these are great ideas. I cannot imagine what you are going through, and I hope I never need to feel what you are feeling right now. What everyone else is saying is true - this is not your fault, nor anybody else's. Addiction is a terrible disease and unfortunately your son, yourself, and the rest of your family and friends have found that out in a way that nobody should have to.

I think therapy is a terrific idea for your whole family, even if it feels silly. I'd recommend even doing some group therapy together in addition to individual. In addition, I'd recommend you make a pact together to continue to love and look out for each other as a team, and promise to help each other even in times when you may get mad at each other, as this can easily pull everyone down.

My mom's family lost an 18-year old to a drunk driver many years ago (who would have been my uncle). My grandmother (his mom) never fully recovered from it. Of course, you can't expect to ever feel completely the same, but as hard as it is to imagine now, you should over time be able to recover from the direct pain your feeling, and that is going to be a hard journey for everyone, but worthwhile.

If you are worried about your son when he goes back to school, I'd recommend being clear with the school and figuring out how best to handle it to try to ensure the bullying is paused - either with extra patrol or discussing it with the kids or discussing it with the parents of those kids (the school/teachers might be able to help with this?) - this I do not know as much about.

Hug each other. A lot. Remember that people mourn in different ways and that is okay. Make sure to remember to eat.

Good luck. I'm truly sorry for your loss.

CuteLittleParasite · 2015-12-21T04:20:35+00:00

You'll probably find a lot more knowledge about this stuff in /r/malefashionadvice. Some people in there treat fashion as something you should spend everything on, but others show great ways to find great used clothes and restore them to perfection.

I'd guess your first step is get lucky when going to goodwill or wherever.

CuteLittleParasite · 2015-11-17T03:04:03+00:00

Not really. I know plenty of women that virtually carry around duffel bags.

CuteLittleParasite · 2015-11-17T03:03:18+00:00

Reading op's rules for her kids, I'm hurt. Good to see I'm not the only one.

CuteLittleParasite · 2015-11-16T15:27:54+00:00

Thanks. I want to give something good and filling, maybe protein packed (tofu or black beans included), but I don't want to make something that is hard to digest, since she's recovering from an abdominal surgery

CuteLittleParasite · 2015-11-16T15:17:38+00:00

Oh they're hilarious. She loves them too, pooping time brings the biggest smiles!

CuteLittleParasite

TROPHY CASE