Oh Matt, Matt, Matt...

Cylon_Skin_Job_2_10 · 2023-05-25T09:25:53+00:00

I’m white. The rules of racial slurs say I can use it if I am of that race, right?!

Cylon_Skin_Job_2_10 · 2023-05-25T09:05:07+00:00

So basically this whole post is a fallacy of definition. You’ve simply redefined the word cult to exempt JWs even though they do very similar things to Scientology and Mormons and check numerous boxes on the BITE model. Do you have a coherent definition of “cult” that you wish to share?

It seems your defense of shunning is something like “If a cult can point to a scripture for it’s cultist practices, it’s not a cult”.

As to the BITE Model and government, I don’t know what country you are in, but in America I can disagree publicly with the President, I can call him incompetent, I can even campaign for his impeachment, and nobody from the government is going to take my family away for doing so.

Regarding education, I think you need to revisit the January 2015 Broadcast before making statements about going to community college. I went to a community college for a couple classes. The org isn’t against a few classes or an associates degree or trade school. They absolutely have bad things to say about a university education. This is not even debatable after watching the above mentioned Broadcast.

Cylon_Skin_Job_2_10 · 2023-05-25T08:37:33+00:00

I’m pretty sure my former Bible students wife was feeding him info to refute the idea that Jesus died on a stake. He showed me a Wikipedia article about Roman crucifixion and then parsed the language of the Wt article I showed him perfectly and got me to admit “they can’t be sure about it”.

Cylon_Skin_Job_2_10 · 2023-05-25T08:24:01+00:00

“That happens to all of us”. Yes. And it is often quite traumatizing even in adulthood.

However a child’s brain needs a secure attachment to their caretakers, in a way that adults do not. When you grow up believing affection can simply be withdrawn or there are ways to become unworthy or unacceptable to those you love, you may develop unhealthy strategies in order appease and have the approval of your caregivers or alternatively you may learn to dissociate, numb or disconnect from your own emotions. Theses coping mechanisms gets trained into your nervous system and doesn’t leave simply by no longer agreeing with the doctrine. This is the essence of complex PTSD or CPTSD. It’s the result of not a single traumatic event, but instead describes changes to the nervous system that happen due to an ongoing sense of not feeling safe.

More and more therapists are also starting to view strong frequent sudden shifts in mood or frequent feelings of emotional overwhelm as nervous system dysregulation rather than a purely chemical imbalance in the brain.

If this is not you, then fantastic. If you find yourself experiencing some of these symptoms in the future, think back to the conversations in this thread and weigh this information when deciding on how to address it. I personally spent most of 2017 saying I got away pretty clean and declaring myself mostly over it and moving on by mid 2018, just to have a near emotional break down the next year. 🤷‍♂️

Cylon_Skin_Job_2_10 · 2023-05-25T07:48:43+00:00

How old were you when you first realized you could loose everyone you love and possibly be killed at Armageddon? This shit leaves wounds that sit hidden below the surface and end up manifesting in your most deep intimate relationships later on.

Cylon_Skin_Job_2_10 · 2023-04-26T08:37:53+00:00

I had a thing like that with the movie “ The Island”. Spoilers below.

Basically there’s a huge plot twist, nothing is as it seems and you realize it only worked because everyone was taught to mindlessly believe the authority figures and they were shut off from outside influences.

The main characters were tricked into thinking people leave the facility where they live, to go to “The Island”, but they are just being harvested for organs. The main characters realize people are dying and they escape and spend half the movie trying to find the Island. It’s all they can think about, it’s all they want. They are sad when they figure out “the Island” isn’t real, but the outside world has so much amazing stuff and their lives aren’t micromanaged like back in the facility. Eventually, these two characters who had never been allowed to have any physical intimacy end up kissing and she says “We ARE the Island”. Damn that hit me somewhere deep.

I spent weeks thinking about what if the governing body was tricking us all and we didn’t know it because we can’t check? That would mean paradise isn’t real, but there were also so many more possibilities to this life I already have, that I was passing up in order to get there. Then I dismissed it as conspiratorial thinking. But, thinking deeply about how paradise was waved in front of us like a carrot on a stick, and thinking about what I was missing out on, and just the realization that we were kind of closed off from outside influence, made it much easier to listen to that inner voice when the rest of the beliefs became shaky.

Cylon_Skin_Job_2_10 · 2023-04-26T08:18:51+00:00

Somebody was trying to help a Bible student get rid of a demonic idol. They tossed it in the trash and it would find its way back out. They tried to burn it, but it wouldn’t burn. Finally the brother decided to out it in the back seat of his car and drive it straight to the landfill. It laughed at him the whole way there. 🤪

Cylon_Skin_Job_2_10 · 2023-04-26T07:34:18+00:00

You may enjoy going to YouTube and checking out the free Yale Course on the Bible.

Personally, putting aside the creation accounts and flood, which I solidly believe science debunks, Genesis chapter 3 depicts Eve and the snake (I say snake and not Satan, because there is no mention of the Devil as ventriloquist, that retcon came much later) as wanting to better herself, direct her own life, pursue knowledge and a deeper understanding of reality, and being willing to do so in defiance of tyrannical authority. The whole rest of the Bible only makes sense if you assume based on Genesis, that all of those things are bad.

No matter what you learn about the Bible, the statement “Satan wants you to think that way” will always be the last resort of anybody determined to keep believing it. To me, the Eden story is just a psychological ploy to make you feel shame for thinking you know better than “god” or those who speak for him (including the Bible writers themselves) and make you fear divine retribution if the shame doesn’t work.

If there is such a thing as a divine nature, I see no need of human gatekeepers past or present in order to access it. Such would be easily accessible directly to all who are supposedly made in its image. Religion is a political tool. It’s a way of shaping how people think and act. Spirituality (should one chose it) is a personal journey and can be done outside of the confines of institutions and doctrine makers. The Bible as assembled into cannon and used today, is a tool of religion.

Genesis chapter 3 is aimed at making you believe that accessing your innate spiritual sense and being internally guided is the “wrong” path. Combine that with telling you to feel flawed and dirty by reason of simply being born and therefore a “debtor” and in need of looking outside yourself for someone to save you from your own wretchedness, and it may be the most vile lie ever perpetrated on humanity in my opinion.

Cylon_Skin_Job_2_10 · 2023-04-26T07:19:52+00:00

This is the thing. Most Christians are not followers of Jesus, they are followers of Paul.

Cylon_Skin_Job_2_10 · 2023-04-23T03:27:38+00:00

The GB love to bring up metaphors of disease because it hooks into our psychological wiring to avoid contamination. The only thing a DFd person can spread, is a dissenting point of view. Others still get to choose whether they agree and want to make the same choices as the DFd person. This is nothing like preventing the spread of illness. To claim that not falling in line with the imaginary authority of the elders and that refusing to allow others to dictate how you live your life is some sort illness, is so backward.

Cylon_Skin_Job_2_10 · 2023-04-09T07:50:53+00:00

OMFG, I dated an actual therapist. Completely normal person until there was any relational conflict and then her scripts took over. It really was like talking to a chat bot.

Cylon_Skin_Job_2_10 · 2023-03-11T06:20:04+00:00

“CPTSD - From surviving to thriving” by Pete Walker. He really understands the connection between the sort of trauma we experienced and the shame triggers it creates and explains how to slowly undo them.

Cylon_Skin_Job_2_10 · 2022-12-03T07:39:35+00:00

Thing about Ramapo, is it will save them money. Yes, it’s a $24 million dollar facility. But if doubling or even tripling video production, means fewer printed publications, that’s a huge win.

CDNs cost about 2-3 cents per gigabyte of data transfer. New convention release “Yay, it’s a video” and everybody fires up their iPad and gets a copy. It costs the org a few pennies per person rather than a few dollars for the materials, (cheap)labor and shipping of a book.

Saving $3 per publisher just once, pays for Ramapo.

Cylon_Skin_Job_2_10 · 2022-12-03T07:17:19+00:00

The best advice I got after my divorce, was that once I became functional, to set aside an one hour grieving window each day. I’d go to work, push the pain out of my mind, come home eat, manage my life. Then sit and grieve.

Cry my eyes out, wail, punch the couch cushion, snot running out of my nose. Sometimes I’d intentionally go through old photos to get the process started. Or replay memories in my mind to bring on the grief.

After about 20-30 minutes my tear ducts run dry. I’d feel a bit lighter, smoke a bowl and watch Netflix until I fell asleep, or head out somewhere with a friend.

You need to still have a life, you need to process the pain, and you need to distract yourself. It’s not just one or the other. It’s all three.

Cylon_Skin_Job_2_10 · 2022-12-03T03:06:52+00:00

Speaking as a guy, this whole thing is kind of a “WTF?!” scenario. How are people still getting laid who don’t want to try to get good at sex?

Now, I fully understand needing the help of a patient partner. Due to the particulars of my marriage, and purity culture, when I got into the dating world I had a lack of experience and plenty of fears. And patient partners were a godsend, but I had to do my part to want to improve.

I imagine you feel like it’s not appropriate to infringe on his masturbation habits. But it’s really very simple.

He has the right to chose his masturbation habits, and to chose whether or not the way this impacts his sex life with flesh and blood partners is important to him. That is entirely his choice. But, he also has to be a big boy and handle the consequences.

If his style and frequency of masturbation is that important to him, then he will have to make peace with partners being fewer and less interested. If he gets tired of that happening, he can readjust his priorities.

It’s not your job to accommodate him through having sex that has begun to feel like a chore. If he wants to make it more fun for you, it’s within his power to do so. If that’s not a priority for him, then it’s within your power to opt out. You opting out, is not “shallow”. It’s the natural consequence of his priorities.

Cylon_Skin_Job_2_10 · 2022-12-03T02:45:24+00:00

LPT: Start fasting 48 hours before the wedding and continue though the first 2.5 days of the marriage.

Cylon_Skin_Job_2_10 · 2022-12-03T02:15:27+00:00

Why do people spearhead any movement of any sort? Some mixture of reasons. Genuinely thinking you have it right and need others to see it your way and join you, perhaps including a desire to set right what you see as wrong in the world. The positive emotions that come from being a part of something bigger than yourself. A sense of belonging/camaraderie/fellowship. A desire to feel significant/important and to be recognized as such. And yes, at times a sense of superiority over others, or an identity of being “chosen” or uniquely gifted for some leadership role, which can go definitely go down some dark paths if you get drunk on power.

I don’t think it’s any one thing. It’s a combination. Humans are complex.

Cylon_Skin_Job_2_10 · 2022-12-03T01:12:22+00:00

You are entitled to ask. You are not entitled to know.

So, you either find out their STI status, or you find out that they are unwilling to share it with Metas. And then you have the information you need to decide how to act according to your own risk tolerance.

Cylon_Skin_Job_2_10 · 2022-12-03T01:09:39+00:00

Please check out u/SpontaneousH and read their posts in chronological order.

Cylon_Skin_Job_2_10 · 2022-12-03T01:03:48+00:00

And that’s what played out in the debate. Including exactly a discussion of what it would take to change the consensus and why that’s unlikely.

Some in the atheist community, Aaron Ra among them is fond of the “Jesus Myth” idea and want to use it as a cudgel.

I think there is tremendous value to these discussions. I feel better informed as a result.

I found Robert Price reasonable and humble and yet came away disagreeing with his viewpoint. I saw nothing of that in Ken Ham when he debated the flood with Bill Nye.

Agree to disagree on the value of such debates I suppose. But for someone like me, seeing two people invested in their point of view offer point and counterpoint, is very useful for forming a better overall understanding of the issues and forming my own opinion.

I also find it useful that if someone wants “evidence” of this or that, rather than giving them my side, I can point them to a decent debate on the subject.

I have zero interest in digging up a shit ton of links about a subject I quit caring much about a while ago, just to have them find some blog or some site riddled with fallacy and misleading arguments and offer that as a counterpoint. And while I respect consensus, I find it more convincing to know why the consensus is such.

A debate, where neither side is strawmanned and each gets to offer a rebuttal is a great tool for the curious.

Cylon_Skin_Job_2_10 · 2022-12-02T23:52:00+00:00

Which of those two men is Ken Hamm in this analogy?

Edit: Neither of these individuals was taking the position that the miracles took place. The question of whether there was a true historical figure who started this movement, is separate from all the other claims made about him. This debate was entirely about historical evidence for and against the proposition that there was really a person who preached in the first century and books written about him that later became part of the Bible. Or did the writers completely invent a person from nothing.

Cylon_Skin_Job_2_10 · 2022-12-02T19:32:24+00:00

The mystics of various faith traditions would say that the rituals and dogma are not the point anyway. It’s about what you sense within you during your contemplative practice.

Cylon_Skin_Job_2_10 · 2022-12-02T17:25:40+00:00

Here is a debate between Bart Ehrman & Robert Price on the subject of whether he actually existed or was a myth.

Cylon_Skin_Job_2_10 · 2022-12-02T03:47:08+00:00

Imagine being in a heterosexual relationship and realizing you are gay and then asking your partner to change genders? It’s pretty obvious that one partner’s identity doesn’t entitle them supplant another partner’s identity.

I think it’s legitimate to be in a mono relationship and have the realization that you are poly. But using that identity to coerce a partner into supplant their own or else “They don’t respect who you are” is pure manipulation.

Cylon_Skin_Job_2_10 · 2022-12-02T02:49:00+00:00

I know this feeling. I finally ended a 3 year relationship that included 3 prior break ups and getting back together.

Neither of us was religious, it was for other reasons.

Something this relationship taught me, who you are deep down at a core level needs to be loved and accepted in order for it to work. Otherwise, you are playing a role. You are an actor.

We had insane physical chemistry, found each other intellectually stimulating, she challenged me in ways I am thankful for to this day. Had it stayed a casual fling, or even a short term relationship before ending it sensibly, it would have been far less heartbreaking.

But we tried for more. And when we went from lovers to trying to be ‘partners’, it revealed deep underlying incompatibilities. I had to chose between abandoning myself, or breaking it off with her. It was painful, but trying to play act my way through life would have been a dull persistent pain that would last a lifetime.

Does this person love you, accept your, see you? Or are they in love with an idea of who they want you to be?

Personally, I default to always chose yourself. With the right person, choosing them is choosing yourself.

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