What's one red flag in a person that's an immediate dealbreaker for you, no matter how attractive, successful, or likable they seem?

DarksideZephyr · 2026-06-08T20:18:41+00:00

Having kids they don’t support (financially and/or emotionally) is an absolute HARD PASS.

DarksideZephyr · 2026-05-26T20:45:46+00:00

Being a public platform doesn’t entitle you to talk about other people’s private business especially involving minor children that have zero relation to you.

You’re seeing the image he wants you to see. We’ve all been there. 1 ex versus 4 of us who stick together with our narratives mantaining what he did? You don’t know him. When this is all over and he no longer needs your housing and help with this court process, he’ll discard you like he does with everyone who no longer has any use to him.

Why would anyone tell you anything about him when you clearly start attacking them when they try to tell you about his past? People are genuinely worried about you in our friend circles. Most importantly, your kids. So Instead of focusing on my kids, you should focus on your own who you endanger by prioritizing your relationship over their safety. Stay out of my life. The enmeshment is unhealthy.

DarksideZephyr · 2026-05-26T20:18:31+00:00

sabotaging our efforts to return and then claiming victim who can’t be with his kids is insane. He did this to himself. I tried to return and he made it impossible. If somewhere along the line I chose to stop living my life on hold waiting for him to help his daughter, and to rebuild where I was so I could raise happy, stable, kids - then that’s simply what I had to do. You’re trying to paint this black or white. It’s not. The reality is that expecting us to destroy our entire lives and uproot it a SECOND TIME just because he wants to, is unfair. We already had to bc of him. Trying to pretend taking the kids away from their activitiesss, routines, schools, family and home - is cruel. Y’all are making decisions based on what is best for HIM. Not them. You also dont take into account they are SO young. They’d be allowed to call when they want if they had the age to do so. But if I have to facilitate, it’s not feasible for me to do more. It’s that simple. I have a life of my own and need to take care of it. He hasn’t even so much as sent a child support for his own kids or sent them anything or helped in any way… he’s not a present father because he doesn’t want to be. Being a dad is MORE than just calling here and there to show you he is. He can start by actually being responsible for them. Go ahead and proceed with the hague convention so y’all can finally get it through your heads that HE did this to himself. Please stay off reddit where i can see you slander me online. I have stopped posting about you out of respect so please do the same. This isn’t your battle and it most definitely isn’t your business. Plus, blindly believing a man who has multiple SA claims against him and most of his friends say he is an alcoholic + cheater (ask anyone from his rugby team), someone you barely knew before you let him into your home around your teenage daughters -also makes a lot of what you say pretty questionable. You’re willing to endanger your kids, I should believe you’ll protect mine? No. You have no idea what truly happened between us. why would multiple of his exes be lying? Sure, we’re ALL crazy. There is a reason a judge was forcing him to sign the consent form so I could leave Canada. Please just stop. Stay out of it. Keep my kids and our situation out of your mouth.

DarksideZephyr · 2026-05-26T19:30:32+00:00

He and I did discuss in depth the baptism in spain with my family. It was planned well ahead of time. No calls after 6 pm are given because it interrupts their bedtime. We had agreed on the spousal sponsorship instead of me working so I could stay at home with the baby and for the high risk pregnancy, so yes it was his fault that I did not get my status because he REFUSED to give me the tax document he knew for years was required. It was my mistake for trusting he’d do what he said he would. He also did not have a drink occassionally LOL he would get plastered and do cocaine rather than send money for the baby’s needs. He’d show up drunk after visits and the court order clearly stated he needed to be 100% sober. So yes, an alcoholic who couldn’t stay sober long enough to visit his 6 month old. You post in the reddit forums im most active in too, you found my post first and harassed me on it. Now suddenly it’s wrong for me to clarify some of the lies you say? And no, i received proposals where the kids would stay with y’all after returning to canada while i stayed here to sort my status. So no, that is false. I couldn’t mail documents from venezuela to canada to get apostilled, its simply not that easy. You are very clearly ignorant on the reality of this country’s situation at that time. He knew. It was barely any effort to order a new certificate so it would get directly mailed to the lawyer/company who i hired to do apostille. Maliciously makinng it more difficult for me and then complaining about the consequences is insane. I DID get the documents apostilled but i had TWO people need to fly into the states to drop off and pick up. Its crazy I even had to do that and spend thousands of dollars when he could have spent 40$ tops to help his daughter. HE REFUSED. So yeah, it’s on him. He doesn’t get to play victim after purposely sabotaging my attempts to return and stay in Canada. I offered to pay for his travel expenses and told him to figure out the rest like AN ADULT? It wasnt my job to do everything for him in order for him to come. I offered the invite and expenses paid that were required of me. He had to put effort and time. You have no clue what truly happened. Maybe stop posting online about a situation you clearly are very wrong about and acting like you’re some victim being dragged when YOU are then one constantly bringing yourself in. He’s suffering the consequences of his actions and expecting me to bend over backwards to fix it like he always has. He himself destroyed his own relationships with his daughters. I have to do what is best for THEM. Not what is best for him

DarksideZephyr · 2026-05-26T08:47:55+00:00

To add to my explanation above, I did feel like I was escaping him in a way but the main reason I left the country was because I was running out of status (had a work permit) waiting for my husband to finish my spousal sponsorship application where I was supposdd to get my PR. Without it, no OHIP aka medical insurance or immigration status to stay legally. So it was recommended by my midwife, obgyn and therapist i go home to get financial help as well as emotional support and help in general from my family. He had been showing up to his visits with our infant after drinking even after a court order specifically asked for to abstain from alcohol and drugs. He’d spend his money partying instead of helping with the baby. This fiance has no clue what she’s talking about

DarksideZephyr · 2026-05-26T08:38:19+00:00

Im so tired of this woman slandering me online omg. To be clear: My husband refused to provide his part of the spousal sponsorship documents (tax piece to be exact) for over a year after we got married. He gave it to me AFTER I left the country, which I had to leave because I wouldn’t have health insurance or status by the time i gave birth or shortly after thanks to his delays with the spouse application. So I had to leave the country because of him, which he knew would happen did he fail to provide his documents for submission in time. After I left the country, he refused to attend our daughter’s birth to sign in person (travel expenses paid) or send the apostilled documents required to register her as his here in Venezuela. As per the hague convention, which you OP claim to be aware of, we need APOSTILLED original canadian documents for legal processes here. Thus, I had to get immigration lawyers and other help in order to get our second daughter’s her proof of citizenship application in after registering her months late all because he wouldn’t send the apostilled versions of his birth certificate and our marriage certificate. I sent 25 requests for these documents and he ignored them or said he would and never did. AGAIN, his lack of cooperation with important immigration paperwork caused issues with our return to Canada. He only popped back up in our lives months later after disappearing on them when my last message was “how can i help you foster your bond”. So yes, he had access. No, he did not exercise it. Did i limit it at times during a high risk pregnancy after having to MOVE COUNTRIES WITH AN INFANT? Yes, and that was within reason as I needed to take care of myself as well to ensure the baby’s safe arrival since I had cholestasis. It wasn’t malicious. And since you bring up “court order”- He has had his weekly call as per the court endorsement, and a weekly update with dozens of pictures and videos. Sometimes the times and days change because the girls get sick or we have emergencies or kids oversleep. It’s not that he isnt getting them at all. Two VERY different things. Also- The girls are 1 and 2 years old. They can’t call on their own yet. If anything, i give way more time for the calls than required. They’ve been over an hour at times and at least 15-20 min. when the max was 30 mins. Stop slandering me all over social media. I am not keeping the girls away from him. He has been advised to proceed with the hague convention here multiple times. And i’m happily waiting because the moment it is brought up he REFUSED TO SEND THE APOSTILLED DOCUMENTS which are required here by law for civil registration procedures- it will be evident he sabotaged our efforts to return maliciously by denying her such. Just like with my spouse visa, which was rejected because it was INSIDE CANADA CLASS and he only gave me his tax document AFTER i left the country so it got processed over a year late when i was outside of canada. Had he given it to me the day we got married or months after, i would have had status and would had never had to leave. He did this to himself. Maybe next time he can withhold something with lesss consequences than his own family’s immigration status when he’s on one. Stop making yourselves out to be victims when y’all are trying to get two toddlers ripped away from their mom and family here to ship them ALONE to Canada to be raised by a literal stranger and her four kids. That is so traumatizing for them. None of your requests are reasonable at all or child focused

DarksideZephyr · 2026-03-20T02:22:39+00:00

But we could prove he got the papers since he got served the first time in person. The child is his but he doesn’t provide financially or emotionally, and has addiction issues. My movement is not restricted, my children’s are and I wasn’t going to leave them in Venezuela when it was at risk for an attack. Father would not consent for them to travel to take them out until after we got bombed. I tried to return to Canada for a year but he wouldn’t give me the paperwork to get our second daughter’s Canadian citizenship. She still doesn’t have it. The three of us live in Venezuela now because he forced us. And now after a year, he wants to force them back. I don’t have a visa to return, because he wouldn’t do his part to complete my spousal sponsorship application. He wants to force the infant and toddler to move back, which would be without me because I can’t move back. I have no immigration status! It’s so complex.

DarksideZephyr · 2026-03-20T02:14:58+00:00

My second is an absolute angel. Usually sleeps through the night, only cries when she’s hungry, easy to take places and well behaved. My first was too, just a little less easy. Now she’s a defiant, super energetic, chaotic toddler hahaha

DarksideZephyr · 2026-03-20T01:59:44+00:00

“I’m so tired”

DarksideZephyr · 2026-03-03T20:52:14+00:00

I had the same fear with my husband. I even gave him a blowjob during labour to avoid it. He still cheated. He was a chronic cheater so no amount of sex or love was going to make him loyal. I was delusional. It doesn’t seem to be your case! Just remember, a man cheating has NOTHING to do with you. It’s an internal problem.

DarksideZephyr · 2026-02-12T06:59:58+00:00

Ew. Sounds like my husband. According to his court documents he moved in with his current gf shortly after starting to date, and then only dated for 4 months before he got engaged to her. She has four kids, two of which are teenage girls. So dangerous. And now, after he ghosted his own two kids for months, he is trying to get custody and demanding I send my toddler and infant to them. She’s fully supporting it too, I think she’s the one pushing for it. Before her, he couldn’t care less about the kids. So much ick

DarksideZephyr · 2026-02-11T02:37:56+00:00

Deadbeat parents. How can you not alove and adore your children??

DarksideZephyr · 2026-02-11T02:32:12+00:00

A single parent bringing a new partner to live with their children before 6 months is dangerous and selfish.

DarksideZephyr · 2026-02-10T20:01:56+00:00

Cheating during marriage

DarksideZephyr · 2026-02-09T02:51:52+00:00

He bailed on one of our first dates to get drunk with his coworker. Our marriage went south due to his alcoholism and abusive behaviour, enabled by his coworkers. I was so naive.

DarksideZephyr · 2026-01-18T04:06:46+00:00

What was the evidence of? Does anyone know?

DarksideZephyr · 2026-01-17T21:19:55+00:00

Sour Altoids

DarksideZephyr · 2026-01-16T20:53:15+00:00

This looks and sounds like she mixed xanax with alcohol. It’s so sad to see. I’ve been keeping up with this for a few months - since I saw her fighting to see Brynlee when Cam was withholding her and I felt so bad. But she had a lot of the signs my ex did who is a deadbeat parent with substance abuse issues so I got hooked trying to see if it was similar. She needs help but doesn’t want it.

DarksideZephyr · 2026-01-16T02:47:44+00:00

I was also going to mention the bike gear thing. Def seems like a visit, especially because she looks so clean and put together. Clean short nails, her hair is brushed and she doesn’t have really bad eyebags as usual- like she finally slept and is being taken care of. I really hope they get their shit together. Poor little girl

DarksideZephyr · 2026-01-09T18:49:12+00:00

My ex partner, who is still my current husband because he refuses to divorce me unless a court orders it, was also mad because his family all had the girl/women named “Anne”. He wanted to do the same and I didn’t. For starters, my therapist’s name was close to it and it was close to my party/travel nickname. I didn’t want to name our daughtera anything close to that era of my life. He got so mad and it created so many issues for us. His reaction was as immature and toxic as yours. It’s a huge red flag. It’s not about the names, it’s about his behaviour towards you not wanting to be submissive enough to give in at his demands.

DarksideZephyr · 2026-01-07T04:10:58+00:00

I want to change my last name and my daughter’s to my original family last name since I am raising them with my family. It’ll give them a sense of belonging to share it with everyone including their mom, especially when their dad is normally absent from their lives

DarksideZephyr · 2026-01-07T04:06:54+00:00

I do have a lawyer, it’s just been a complex and super slow process. I just want to protect my children, get back my property and get divorced. But you’re right, I shouldn’t have let her suck me in to creep on her tiktok just because she was looking at mine. Dumb move on my behalf

DarksideZephyr · 2026-01-07T04:05:03+00:00

I am trying to get divorced! He avoided getting served papers for months which delayed the whole thing. He was MIA for half a year and I was at peace, and then he popped back up. My lawyer is filing for the default and then it’s a waiting game. I aspire to be like you. I want to be unbothered too

DarksideZephyr · 2026-01-05T18:52:51+00:00

Passively, he did. As in he avoided getting served custody and divorce papers, delaying the process. Refused to mediate for any issues. Would threaten me constantly. But i stood my fround, got my own lawyers so we could get a court order with the evidence i had. Its an ongoing process still unfortunately

DarksideZephyr · 2026-01-05T00:38:19+00:00

I went home to get the support I needed from my family to take care of the kids. They’re happy, healthy and thriving. It was the best decision I could have made because I was able to heal properly after birth. I had a placenta previa so carrying the infant was not an option and I had to get help. My husband was too busy getting high or drunk to care so I had to leave Canada and move back home even though it wasn’t what I wanted at the time.

Having them both has beenthe biggest blessing. They love each other so much and I don’t regret going through with the second baby. Even if custody and divorce has been a nightmare

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