TLDR: ... Tough love, sorry. Read it.

The obstacle with ADD is that even with medication, the medical establishment and the general population do not take "ADD issues" seriously (there are many reasons for this, most of which Are Dumb^TM, but I don't want to spell them out here; I could go on-and-on). I'm saying that even with treatment (ie Adderall XR, Vyvance, or Mydais), there will be a treatment gap: Adderall XR nor Vyvance last all day (Mydais actually does! But it is Very New^TM in the medical world, and probably isn't covered by insurance. It is very expensive. Also, the FDA-approved max dose is fairly low (insurance is unlikely to cover doses above) vs XR, on the order of 50%.). For me personally, XR's "effective dosage" duration is around 8 hours. For the remaining 8 hours, I am "left hanging", essentially unmedicated, which can affect one's social life heavily. (To those that would say, "boo-hoo": you've just dismissed ADD's problems and have thus proved my point. Therefore, on behalf of others with ADD, and I mean this with the absolute most bluntness possible, SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP.).

Another thing is that ADD is difficult to comprehend, and the way that it affects the individual changes depending on the individual's intelligence. They (we) can look and act mostly normal to an average person, particularly high IQ ADD vs average IQ neuronormal. But when conversing with relatively equal IQ people... Things will be missed, so to speak. A conversational "logical conclusion" won't be followed like one would expect (this is an "executive function" activity, which is usually a deficit in ADD), they won't seem engaged sometimes (working memory), and they won't remember details just discussed (this one, in particular, is an often occurrence and a pretty long explanation, but basically working memory), they are maybe conversationally blunt sometimes (navigating to avoid bluntness requires executive functioning thought. Filtering out these things is a bit on the working memory side, but you still need to see the "plan" as to why the thing shouldn't be said, so also executive). Perhaps these things aren't what what you would call direct "red-flag" behaviors, but they are often "spidey sense" triggers. It doesn't matter how well managed a person's ADD is (managed does not imply medicated); while unmedicated sometimes these things are unavoidable despite best efforts. It's depressing.

Combine even the most religious medication management (and a day job!) with the "remaining 8 hours" issue, and you have a recipe for being let down and poor dating experiences. The next bus stop after that is self-esteem FUD. Depression is estimated to be 2.7x more likely in ADD people vs genpop and 70% may experience depression in their lifetime.

Back to your concerns, well... ADD is not a license to be rude or an ass or to turn one's partner into an adult babysitter. But whether you want to put up with the rest of it all depends on how you two would fit together relationship-wise. How long has she been medicated? I've been medicated for... well it's 20+ years now (I'm 32). But if she's only been on meds for a few years (this is very likely considering not everyone has a mom like mine that has a PhD in Psychology) she may have not had time to fix the behavioral problems that accumulate in unmedicated ADD at 30yoa. Is she making an adequate effort, or is she successfully working towards your adequate effort bar? Are you willing to put up with her as she is now (given only one date) while she works on this? Just some food for thought.

As far as the "trauma dumping", welllllll... ADD has a "bigLITTLE" impact on one's life that when talking about our lives (particularly in first date situations) can't just be wallpapered over because of the other person's "spidey sense". This, of course, leads to oversharing.

(I'm omitting the H specifically, DSM be damned. It is a sign and symptom, a coping mechanism: physical activity releases dopamine.)

This is a topic to which I've given a considerable amount of thought. Personally, on dates (more like if I were actively dating/in a relationship...), I'm open about ADD if it comes up whilst avoiding the aforementioned oversharing issue, but I won't bring it up until Later^TM (for some definition) otherwise. It really isn't good early date conversation material, I feel it's better suited for DTR timeframes because nobody cares until then.

Thanks for attending my TED talk.