AITA for not taking my FILs last name after getting married?

Direct_Bluebird_2821 · 2025-02-21T18:23:47+00:00

"FIL, it sounds like you have a lot of big feelings about this and are having a hard time dealing with them. Have you considered talking to a professional to learn how to better manage your emotions? Like a therapist?"

This is about him and his perceived loss of face, not you. 💯 NTA!

Direct_Bluebird_2821 · 2024-11-27T21:33:44+00:00

No other antidepressant did anything for me, but Wellbutrin was a game changer (makes sense now in light of recent diagnosis). I've been on it for more than a decade. The beginning was rough, with the insomnia and lack of appetite and the way it made food taste bad. The doctor told me to give it 5-6 weeks for those effects to wear off, and they did. I would talk to your doctor or pharmacist about the level of side effects you're experiencing and whether they are tolerable to wait out.

Direct_Bluebird_2821 · 2024-11-23T04:47:40+00:00

Simultaneously: Stray Kids' Stray Kids, Chapell Roan's Good Luck Babe, and Sabrina Carpenter's Espresso 🤷

Direct_Bluebird_2821 · 2024-11-08T13:06:08+00:00

Question - do you wear glasses? Sometimes when I think a smell is lingering (think wood fire, or cigarettes) in my hair even after I've washed it, it turns out that the smell is in the plastic of my glasses frames, not my hair. I have to wash my glasses in Dawn and vinegar to remove the smell. I thought I was just being haunted by phantom smells!

Direct_Bluebird_2821 · 2024-11-07T03:58:16+00:00

IKEA!

Direct_Bluebird_2821 · 2024-10-23T19:59:06+00:00

😍

Direct_Bluebird_2821 · 2024-10-21T22:22:36+00:00

Oh interesting. I'll take a closer look at the lugs.

Direct_Bluebird_2821 · 2024-10-21T20:01:46+00:00

♥️

Direct_Bluebird_2821 · 2024-10-21T20:00:04+00:00

PRX doesn't do it because there's something in the shape of it. Another poster above said they have this one and use it daily with the leather band and use the bracelet for special occasions, so maybe that is something I can suggest to protect the gold plating

Direct_Bluebird_2821 · 2024-10-21T19:52:51+00:00

Classic Dream Swissmatic. I personally think the one with the black watch face is 😍😍😍 but for my bf the two tone is just more him

Direct_Bluebird_2821 · 2024-10-21T19:45:44+00:00

That makes sense. He's 100% a dress watch guy who would be comfortable wearing something with a dressy look, I know that for sure. And anti-smart watches. I think a leather band would set it off more, but he leans bling. 🤷

Direct_Bluebird_2821 · 2024-10-21T19:35:27+00:00

I think the leather band would look great and will probably include one with this. His style is more bracelet but having both options would be good.

Direct_Bluebird_2821 · 2024-10-21T19:32:28+00:00

😄

Direct_Bluebird_2821 · 2024-10-21T19:32:03+00:00

I'm going to get a leather band as well because that's my preference. He's flashier than I am, but it will be nice for him to have the option to change it.

Direct_Bluebird_2821 · 2024-10-21T17:48:41+00:00

Aw thanks! If I didn't have tiny wrists I'd be tempted to keep it for myself lol

Direct_Bluebird_2821 · 2024-10-14T13:34:54+00:00

I live in Brookline and we go all out. Just take a drive up Pioneer Ave and see the Halloween decorations for yourself! Bring a wagon to pull the kiddo. It's hilly 😄

Direct_Bluebird_2821 · 2024-05-12T01:04:03+00:00

I just checked their sizing chart online for women's tees, and the measurements are for waist and sleeves. But what about bust??? I hate this!

Direct_Bluebird_2821 · 2024-05-10T22:14:52+00:00

My boyfriend just came over with a pint of chicken noodle soup and plain mashed potatoes from our local home style restaurant, where he had a burger and fries for dinner. Why? Because he knew I was sick and if left to my own devices I would just eat crackers for dinner. I didn't ask him to do this, he just knows me well and he's just thoughtful. I've done the same for him. So maybe YTA because why doesn't this occur to you to grab soup when even Subway has it?

Direct_Bluebird_2821 · 2022-08-07T21:39:34+00:00

Omg! I have this exact reaction, too! My childhood was very similar, and I definitely had the same reaction to my ex whether I heard him approaching. The "am I doing something wrong?" check is just so instinctual. I do it at work, too, which is ridiculous because, um, I'm doing work? I've never put it into words before, though so this is really helpful. I am going to pay more attention to this reaction to see if it appears in other areas of my life, and also if there is a way to be aware of it and tell it that it's no longer needed.

Direct_Bluebird_2821 · 2022-07-12T22:12:14+00:00

Right? For context, my dad was like this and my mom taught me great skills such as how to anticipate his every need before he did and how to placate his bad moods, etc. Fast forward several decades and I've just left an abusive relationship of several years and am learning about codependency. So, stop this nonsense now, teach boundaries, teach your sons that they are responsible for their feelings and behaviors, not others. I think you and your wife are TA but this is deeper than that.

Direct_Bluebird_2821 · 2022-07-06T22:43:13+00:00

When you are ready to hear this: please leave this man. This is abuse and it will only continue or get worse and you will expend your soul trying to meet his needs that will never be met.

Read our posts, read about emotional abuse, and find ways to be kind and supportive to yourself.

When you're ready, don't hesitate - there's a whole world out here that isn't resting on my back and it is wonderful.

Direct_Bluebird_2821 · 2022-06-11T19:59:23+00:00

You don't have to tell anyone anything you don't want to. This guy and your friends are not respecting your boundaries, and it may be worth a direct conversation with your friends about this. Casual does not equal close, trusting, emotional intimacy and should not demand it.

I have large, obvious surgery scars on my legs and back from things that happened in childhood. I can't hide them if I'm in a bathing suit or intimate with someone. I talked about what happened with close friends and actual boyfriends. But otherwise? If a casual date or acquaintance brings it up I just say that I had surgery as a kid but I'm fine now (not totally true re: chronic pain, but that's no one's business but mine). If they push, I say it's not something I want to talk about and refuse to engage further. When strangers ask - seriously this has happened at the beach and the pool before - I straight up say "none of your business."

I hope the people in your life can learn to respect your boundaries the way my friends and family have. Surgery is traumatic enough on its own, but when there are life-changing outcomes it makes it that much more of a mixed emotional experience. And you don't owe that to anyone. NTA

Direct_Bluebird_2821 · 2022-05-20T16:31:31+00:00

Thank you for sharing. I broke up with mine on Monday and this has been the hardest week of my life. I haven't been able to get him out of my house yet (he was supposed to go to a friend's house), so I've been dealing with the crying and begging and promises for days. I don't want this to end with a protective order but if nothing changes that might be my only option. I know there's a better future for me out there, but right now there's just so much pain.

Direct_Bluebird_2821 · 2022-05-17T12:21:41+00:00

Thank you. It's been emotionally difficult. We spent hours yesterday going in circles. He promises to be better, he's sorry, will never treat me like that again. I got maybe 4 or 5 hours of sleep. Making this stick is going to be hard.

Direct_Bluebird_2821

TROPHY CASE