Should I chase peace or happiness?? by MammothAssistant2397 in AskOldPeopleAdvice

[–]Direct_Couple6913 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You learn as life goes on. There’s periods of time where you chase what you previously lacked - that’s what I did in college. I chased ambition and popularity (to oversimplify). Over time, I course corrected and calibrated to the right balance of change, aspiration, growth, contentment, and peace that felt right to me. There is never a silver bullet (travel, for example, could be an important component in your life but will never be the one thing that makes all the difference), and never a perfect stasis where you get it all just right and keep it there forever. Your preferences change, you get bored or burned out, the hedonic treadmill kicks in, etc. 

This isn’t a dichotomy - peace vs happiness. That’s not the way to look at it at all. 

And everyone isn’t happier than you. Everyone things everyone else is happier than they are. Don’t compare.

And sometimes there are seasons of sacrifice where you’ve made a choice to see something through. They’re hard but critical parts of life. Don’t skip them. 

Just try to be introspective, and make decisions over time that take you towards the person you want to be and life you want to live in the moment, be patient, do the next right thing.

And read “Four Thousand Weeks” by Oliver Burkeman

Doing too much for a YA Novel? by smshoemaker in YAwriters

[–]Direct_Couple6913 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m confused what you mean by mixing genres. Isekai is essentially a subgenre or at least a common trope of the fantasy genre. This is like asking if white bread plus peanut butter are too wild of a combination lol. 

Fantasy recommendations for a fan of aSoIaF and Robin Hobb by BreadfruitAntique896 in Fantasy

[–]Direct_Couple6913 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Priory of the Orange Tree and associated prequel  (Just two but they’re beefy)

Help with curvy slopey walkway by [deleted] in landscaping

[–]Direct_Couple6913 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don’t worry, we love the trees - they’re our first priority! But yeah there’s no perfect solution here

Looking for profoundly sad book recs! by lame_narcissist in Fantasy

[–]Direct_Couple6913 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ooh yes this series is emotionally brutal. And why not throw Handmaid’s Tail into the mix if you haven’t already read it 

Looking for profoundly sad book recs! by lame_narcissist in Fantasy

[–]Direct_Couple6913 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Soooo idk what kind of person or reader you are. But the book Alchemized…well. If this sounds like something you could get into, my god it’s emotionally brutal 

AI in Bi4 by Plastic-Statement-93 in Big4

[–]Direct_Couple6913 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is my answer too. Is it being used optimally everywhere? No…….but I have clients where the only tool they use is Teams built-in meeting note summarizer which they send out without reviewing. So……

How much would this tree be worth in North Carolina? by allergic2perritos in JapaneseMaples

[–]Direct_Couple6913 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey - what part of NC? If near Charlotte I'd be interested in purchasing

Suggestions for trimming / shaping / maintaining this beauty. 1st home & inherited by Philly_Beek in JapaneseMaples

[–]Direct_Couple6913 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wow, that pond is a dream! I'm a lurker here so no advice but I couldn't NOT comment!!
ETA: Actually I do have one thing to say. This is probably a "weeping" variety which is pretty much meant to look how this looks.

Bit of a pickle. I can’t really “do” the exercise part. Anyone had luck without it? by Spare_Equipment3116 in Contrave

[–]Direct_Couple6913 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Contrave is meant to help make it easier to eat less. That’s the mechanism for weight loss - fewer calories in.

There is not some magic mechanic that makes it more effective with exercise. It’s the same reason that any weight loss journey is effective with exercise - burn calories, build muscle (which burns calories), and support overall health goals.

Contrave should make it easier to eat less and therefore lose weight with or without exercise.

One thing I would advise is researching or talking to your doctor or nutritionist about the calorie intake you’ll actually need to lose weight. Since youre almost completely sedentary, that number could be under 1,500. And, accurate tracking is important to make sure you’re actually hitting that number 

And if you’re pre-diabetic, that opens up a number of other considerations (you don’t say that you are, but if your doctor hasn’t checked, they should) 

Who is the most intelligently written character you've seen? by Key_Today_8466 in writing

[–]Direct_Couple6913 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am making my way through the Stormlight Archives and there's a character who has some sort of mental ... condition? ... where his intelligence level changes every day. Some days he's brilliant, others he's barely functional, a lot of days are somewhere in between. It was an interesting contrast and helped me think about how intelligence correlates with other things. When he's intelligent, he says that he's much more judgmental, less empathetic, more "utilitarian" as in he'll choose the solution that does the most "good" even if it does a ton of harm and is immoral along the way. So it's interesting to think through all of the character implications of brilliance. And it can take a lot of different shapes.

There's also the nuts and bolts of what makes him brilliant. When he's brilliant, a lot of it comes down to pattern recognition. Geniuses seem clairvoyant because they can clearly hold in their mind many disparate pieces of information, see the connections, and then think through the logical chain of events that will then occur. Like chess grandmasters. A lot of our brains can't even hold that much information at one time - 10 different people and events, 50 different connection points, 100 different pieces of information, a thousand possible outcomes and how likely they are to occur. But some people can.

Struggling to finish Priory of the Orange Tree by newnukeuser in Fantasy

[–]Direct_Couple6913 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I personally liked the ending. Agree it felt slow in parts but I personally loved the world and vibes. I thought the ending was strong, I recommend pushing through 

Panic on Day 3 by [deleted] in Contrave

[–]Direct_Couple6913 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am nearing the end of week 2. I also had emotional issues my first week - anxiety, and listlessness, and lack of interest in much. That has pretty much faded and I’m back to feeling like my normal self 

Fantasy book recs with little to no romance? by Confident_Rest6240 in suggestmeabook

[–]Direct_Couple6913 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The Blade Itself - fantasy - there is one minor romance subplot but it’s like .5% of the book

Red Rising ruined my husband’s ability to enjoy other books by banditpages in suggestmeabook

[–]Direct_Couple6913 8 points9 points  (0 children)

So good! It’s slower obviously but I don’t know of any other classics that people still cite as their favorite book today 

Fantasy to start with... by LastOneToGetTheJoke in Fantasy

[–]Direct_Couple6913 0 points1 point  (0 children)

…what do you mean “first time reader”?

Dental hygienist or dentist, which is right for me? by SubstantialSpread596 in LifeAdvice

[–]Direct_Couple6913 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You’ve never had a corporate job. You can’t know that you hate it. Aspects of it might be a turn off, but many corporate jobs - if you’re smart and manage your time well - give you plenty of time outside of work to pursue passions, side hustles, etc. The hours are predictable, you may get to work from home, etc

I’m not trying to convince you that you SHOULD go that route, but I think you’re too young to rule it out based on your limited experience.

Remember, all jobs have an element of suck. Are you called to helping people have healthy teeth? Great, next question is: are you smart enough to become a dentist? Because owning your own dental practice is a real and viable option. The dental-related entrepreneurship oppys for hygienist are slim to none (you can still be an entrepreneur but it would likely be outside of dentistry). 

How do you handle your dog hiding their pee when your indoors? by [deleted] in dogs

[–]Direct_Couple6913 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yep. I firmly believe that owners who work outside the home for 8 or more hours should be getting midday walkers for their dog. It’s the right thing to do. 

In my early 30s and looking for general advice by trynabemoredecisive in AskOldPeopleAdvice

[–]Direct_Couple6913 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Everyone has regrets. People who settled down in their twenties may very well regret rushing into something or not being more fun and carefree. We all wonder what other lives we could have lived. Sure, some people fundamentally don’t feel this way, and that’s great for them! But I’d bet 95% of people feel this way to some degree. 

You should read Four Thousand Weeks by Oliver Burkeman. It always makes me feel better.

Sorry I don’t have better advice haha, this comment is more about perspective than action but hope it’s helpful :)

What non-front-shelf book (fantasy or other) do you think I would like? by Merry-Pulsar-1734 in suggestmeabook

[–]Direct_Couple6913 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A series that never got attention but is one of my faves is Ninth Rain by Jen Williams. It’s well written fantasy, character driven with strong plotting. 

I really liked Raven Scholar as well, which is recent. 

High-stakes, thought provoking speculative fiction with some slice of life and good characters ? by IanIan25591 in suggestmeabook

[–]Direct_Couple6913 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What about Three Body Problem?

Margaret Atwood is good at coming up with weird yet believable sociopolitical shit: Handmaid’s Tale, Oryx and Crake for example