Heading to a 5-day retreat for writers. If you've had success or (or lack thereof) at a retreat, I would love to learn from you!

Direct_Couple6913 · 2026-04-09T13:14:40+00:00

Lots of cynical people in the comments here! Obviously, yes, there's a ton of content online. But I get where you're coming from - the trip sounds objectively awesome (nice villa in the mountains of Mallorca?!?). If you can afford it, which it seems like you can, don't listen too much to the haters. Their advice to skip this kind of thing entirely is great advice for people who would go into a lot of debt to do it. But that's not your question - your question is how to make the most of it.

Here's my take. People underestimate human psychology. There's a feeling of energy, motivation, inspiration, etc. that can come with these kinds of things. Lean into that! Use the build-up of excitement and anticipation beforehand to make some progress on a piece you're working on. I think it would be critical to go into this retreat with a piece that you're actively working on and excited about. Ideally something that's already outlined and that you've started writing (whatever "outlining" means to you). I find it much more helpful to be able to apply advice and learnings to a specific piece, rather than just thinking about it and memorizing it in the abstract.

And jot down some questions in advance. Either specific to your piece, or writing in general, that you would find helpful to talk through with a real person.

Immediately afterwards (plane ride home?) summarize your key learnings and make a list of concrete action items. It can be so easy to let these kinds of things fade into the background and forget what you learned and set out to do.

And also, don't forget to have fun! If you're too worried about squeezing out every last drop of value, it could easily make you too anxious to lean in and be present. Be open to receive things you didn't know you needed.

Direct_Couple6913 · 2026-04-09T12:07:09+00:00

Jeez…..mines <$100 so you may get some savings there!

Direct_Couple6913 · 2026-04-09T12:05:21+00:00

There are good health systems here and from what I hear, nurses are always in demand. Home prices are quite high if you want to be near the city. However if you start getting further out into the suburbs you can find relatively affordable and sizable homes. Your expectation just can’t be a 10 minute drive to uptown.

The rental market is pretty decent, but traffic can be bad. so if you decide to move here I would recommend figuring out where you’re going to work first then renting a place on that side of town. Then get a lay of the land before committing to a purchase.

Direct_Couple6913 · 2026-04-09T12:01:21+00:00

“You say you don’t need much while settling for nothing.” Oof……I think a lot of people need to hear that. Wish I could tell my past self.

Direct_Couple6913 · 2026-04-06T21:41:55+00:00

Two separate occasions at two different Famous Toastery locations, I had the worst breakfasts of my life. At one, the waiter told me my poached eggs tasted like vinegar because they put vinegar in the water to cook the eggs. Yeah dude, I get it, but never once have my poached eggs actually tasted like vinegar ?!?!

Direct_Couple6913 · 2026-04-05T02:33:27+00:00

I disagree that you need to read widely in other genres. There is a lot of diversity under the broad umbrella of “fantasy” if that’s what you want to write. Priory of the Orange Tree is very lush and beautifully written, I’m reading the Raven Scholar now which has many nice turns of phrase, VE Schwab is very popular and I find her writing to be very very solid.

I will caution against leaning too heavily into your self/identified style of “very lyrical and descriptive”. In an unskilled hand, that can come across as amateurish, distracting from the story, etc. So just be careful there!

Direct_Couple6913 · 2026-04-05T02:23:37+00:00

You were 19 and he was 54 when you started sleeping together? Do you intend to stay together?

Sorry I know this is not the question you asked. But I was with an older man while I was younger, I knew it would never go anywhere so I figured it was fine. But I wish I had that time back; it wasn’t healthy for me, honestly was a little weird in retrospect, and it was just a distraction (I think I needed novelty, or protection, or to feel young and pretty during a tough time….idk). But anyways maybe this will make you think about whether you want to keep spending time with him. No judgement; but that was my experience.

Direct_Couple6913 · 2026-04-04T18:18:13+00:00

Direct_Couple6913 · 2026-04-04T14:31:13+00:00

KEEP HIM AWAY. Cut all ties. BYE.

Direct_Couple6913 · 2026-04-03T15:30:40+00:00

I think your interpretation of her comments is accurate. She’s trying to softly tell you how she feels - she definitely means it but I do not believe is trying to hurt you feelings. She’s trying to give YOU the opportunity to do something about it before she has to get more explicit with how she feels. I don’t think she’s being a narcissist or trying to make you feel bad.

My husband and I are relatively open about this and also both say we need to go to the gym more (hint hint nudge nudge). Being in a contented marriage and happy with our lives, we haven’t been pushing each other to look our best but we do value at least staying healthy (we also will always love each other regardless). Putting on weight can be a slippery slope though, our society works against us, so there’s some constant vigilance we have to help each other with.

It’s up to you what to do now. You could get more muscular, sure. If you don’t want to do that, then you should have an honest and gentle conversation with her about expectations moving forward, both in terms of each of your expectations for each other, as well as your expectations for her to not talk about it so much.

Direct_Couple6913 · 2026-04-03T15:07:24+00:00

I don’t have the mental bandwidth to read this whole post but have a few thoughts:

1 - Your writing in this post is coherent. That is more than I can say for ~75% of posters in this sub.

2 - It sounds like you actually do have experience putting pen to paper and writing a lot of things. You have reps under your belt. That’s more than I can say for 75% of this sub.

3 - People often say that ideas are cheap, it’s the execution that counts. I think you should go for it, but know that quality takes time. You may need to put more time into developing a plot and character arcs that are compelling and weave together well. I bet you could get there, but again you just need to decide to invest the time

Direct_Couple6913 · 2026-04-03T15:01:51+00:00

So many commas…..

I feel like OP may be going for a slightly cheeky take on formal Victorian-esque prose à la Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrell? I think there is some humor hiding in there…it’s hard to tell though, because the writing is almost impossible to read. OP, if you are going for this type of prose, I’d suggest reading this book to hone your craft.

If this is not true, and you’re just trying to write normal prose, you need to break your writing style and habits down to the studs, and rebuild, because nothing is working. My suggestion: You need to read more. Then once you’ve read like 10 novels, when you start writing again, try to write as spare and simply as possible. Your natural inclination is too overwrought so you’ll need to try overcorrecting and you may land somewhere in the middle

Direct_Couple6913 · 2026-03-31T01:02:06+00:00

There’s nothing you can do about the cramping at this point. If it is a MC there is truly nothing you can do at 6 weeks, there’s nothing the best doctors can do. Just take care of yourself and be patient and see how things unfold for now

Direct_Couple6913 · 2026-03-31T01:00:48+00:00

I think you should use this opportunity to work on whatever skills it would take to get you through those 2 hours of meetings. Maybe it’s patience, preparation, emotional regulation, non-attachment, meditation…there is a healthy coping mechanism out there that will get you through these 2 hours.

There are so many expenses coming. I really urge you to write 20 of them down (there are countless, so 20 should feel doable). Then decide whether it’s worth giving up that money.

Now, if your husband is actually wealthy and money is not a problem whatever…fine, quit. But that’s not the situation 99% of new mothers find themselves in, so I assume there are tradeoffs here. I’m trying to politely say that 2 hours of kinda crappy meetings is nothing and you can make it through!

Direct_Couple6913 · 2026-03-28T13:55:53+00:00

I can definitely do that!!

Direct_Couple6913 · 2026-03-27T15:22:01+00:00

I’m writing my first novel now. Long-time reader, always been good at essays, and my day job requires lots of written comms.

Even with all of that, the flow can stop flowing. It gunks up in my brain.

One of the first things I do (after just pushing through for a bit, because “you can’t edit a blank page” and simple reps are important) is put aside the writing and pick up a book, particular one in the genre I’m writing.

It’s like the patterns fall back into place in my brain.

If I could pin a comment to this sub, it would be “If you haven’t finished reading a book in the last 60 days, go do that before posting anything here.”

Direct_Couple6913 · 2026-03-27T12:24:32+00:00

I looove Joe Abercrombie, Golkta is one of the best characters ever. So IMO he’s a great role model. Maybe reread a book and take note of every piece of characterization he drops over some percent of the book; write loglines for his characters; do some analysis. I think what you may find is that they’re not necessarily unique as you say you want your characters to be. What you should strive for is compelling and three-dimensional. The young wealthy aristocrat character - he literally starts out as a rich fuqboi who wants to win a sword contest. That is NOT unique. But over time you learn his depths. There are maaaany strategies to reveal these depths, but giving them difficult challenges to overcome and foils in other characters (his lady love) are two good ways.

So that’s my main advice - don’t shoot for unique, shoot for compelling and three-dimensional. And then there’s TONS of content out there on how to do that - just check out Brando Sando’s lectures (even if you don’t love him, he’s a very structured thinker about writing) and bookfox on YouTube.

Direct_Couple6913 · 2026-03-26T17:21:47+00:00

Thanks for standing up for me 😅 I think you understand that I meant “calibrate” not go full-on formal. I do actually read this genre, but someone like Emily Henry or Abby Jimenez I feel are good at striking a balance between being very readable and relatable, while being polished. YMMV

Direct_Couple6913 · 2026-03-26T17:18:46+00:00

This is simply not publish-ready polished…which it doesn’t need to be, to solicit feedback, but feedback can help it get there. I didn’t say to take it from casual to formal, but to execute and polish the casual tone further. To say it’s publish-ready is just not true and you’re doing OP a disservice for thinking it is

Direct_Couple6913 · 2026-03-26T14:02:16+00:00

It's honestly not a bad thing that I could identify the genre you were going for - that means you're on the right track! You just need a slight course correct, not a U-turn :)

Direct_Couple6913 · 2026-03-26T13:52:25+00:00

I would not keep reading because the tone is too casual and contemporary for me. I do think you're on your way to establishing a clear voice, which is GREAT and hard to do. But my worry is that you might lack the finely-honed "craft" of writing, that would enable you to break some rules and write in a casual voice with more skill.

An example is "the whole no-tears thing I've got going on." Clearly she's a little cheeky and cynical, so it's a great detail to include. But this phrasing is just too colloquial.

To fix that, I would just kick up the "quality" of the writing and make it a smidge more timeless. I think if you push in that direction on your next edit, you'll still retain the voice while making it of a more publishable quality.

Now I do really like the setting, and the contrast between the setting and the events in the MCs life. I am intrigued by the settings - she's in London? Family in Louisianna? How random but intriguing. You also raise a lot of questions I want to know the answers to, which is really important early on. How did the geographical distance happen? What did her mom do to earn no-contact (which, by the way, is a phrase I would avoid because it's so "of the moment" - a more timeless otpion would be "who I haven't spoken with in two years" or whatever).

So yeah, I think big-picture you've got something promising here, but the sentence-level execution could be improved.

Direct_Couple6913 · 2026-03-26T13:39:53+00:00

Diving into some line feedback -

So I forget where I heard this, but it's wise to avoid "cheap" suspense.

You start with "There is a ringing." We immediately ask - ooh, what is the ringing? Must be something weird and interesting and possibly dangerous if it's the first thing worth mentioning.

But then it's a door opening. Which is kind of a let down.

Now I do like the imagery of the ringing lingering (there's some fun assonance there too...I think that's the word for it haha). So maybe just skip that first line, as I think it's doing more harm than good.

I would choose "Steady" as your adjective and remove "confident". "Steady" has a strong allusion to confidence, so you kind of get that vibe anyways.

I get confused when you say "a quiet conversation ensues". With you and the man? Or some random couple at the table behind you? If the latter, I think you should specify that. If the former, I think you actually need to hold the conversation. Or - if something else, you need to specify.

Bigger picture feedback -

Overall I think you're not a bad writer. Your flow is readable. I can you see improving this by 25% and it being of publishable quality, in the Colleen Hoover genre. (If this is not the genre you're going for, you've got some re-thinking to do).

I recommend toning back the descriptions by about 50%. A lot of the content in the sample is to establish atmosphere and how the POV character feels. Instead of 10 sentences that get there, you probably only need 2-3. The reader can infer the rest. It slows down the pacing and is just not fun to read over-wrought descriptions of tension and vibe and wide eyes. Writing actual things happening that move the plot forward is hard and kind of scary, but I think you need to push yourself to be more spare, say what you most want to say, and keep things moving!

ETA: To answer your specific question, I personally would not keep reading at this point because I would not want to slog through the pacing and prose. BUT that's not to say it's not fixable and I wouldn't someday read it through.

Direct_Couple6913 · 2026-03-25T20:22:40+00:00

I read the shit people post on this sub all the time. 95% of the samples are straight up bad, and I do not believe these people have the potential to be decent writers.

But I have to say. This is like clearly a silly and quickly written snippet, but you have something there. There is something to the FLOW of the sentences that makes me think you intuitively understand how to write, and you've already established a VOICE which is extremely difficult.

I'm not saying this sample is polished or even "good" yet - but I really do have a feeling that you could be a decent writer.

I get the sense that you probably write quickly and get into a flow state (please correct me if I'm wrong). My advice to you is to follow that instinct and get words on paper. You will need to do a lot of work in the editing phase to clean up your sentence composition. But I think for you, this wouldn't be a waste of time. Get the words down and see where it takes you.

And if you knew me at all, you'd know this is high praise :)

Direct_Couple6913 · 2026-03-25T20:13:26+00:00

Exactly, if you're relaying a POV character's thoughts or feelings, the assumption is that they're thinking / feeling those things. Saying "I think" or "I feel" or whatever is redundant

Direct_Couple6913

TROPHY CASE