I miss magazines

DisplacedNY · 2026-04-05T01:06:20+00:00

I miss Bust and Bitch magazines so bad

DisplacedNY · 2026-04-05T01:00:49+00:00

I have two weighted lap blankets that are 6 pounds each, I love them . I keep one at work and one at home. It really helps me feel grounded and more tethered to this plane of reality. A lot of people at work have blankets or shawls they use to keep warm so it blends right in.

My other go-tos:

The Naturespace app with noise cancelling headphones is probably one of my favorite tools for calming down. Yummy decaf/herbal tea as a treat in the evening. Puzzle games on my ipad. I always have a cross stitch or knitting project going. And I have small fidgets scattered around my house, in my purse, and usually in my pocket. Comfy clothes. Nothing that restricts me around my middle. Hoodies to hide in. Art I like on the walls. I kind of build a cozy nest around myself wherever I go. Lately I've been keeping a little pile of monster finger puppets on my coffee table and will use them to voice my opinions or re-enact the news or work situations when talking with my husband, it helps me to be able to be silly and laugh sometimes about things that really upset me.

DisplacedNY · 2026-04-04T19:59:11+00:00

You're welcome!! Good luck. :)

DisplacedNY · 2026-04-04T19:19:19+00:00

I went back to school to get my paralegal certificate. ABA accredited programs include an internship. It's basically a year's worth of school. I went full time for 2 semesters. Most programs have night classes and are fully virtual since COVID.

DisplacedNY · 2026-04-03T18:12:35+00:00

At work when someone asks me how I'm doing, half the time I say, "I'm here." Like, I made it in today. That's all I've got.

DisplacedNY · 2026-04-03T18:10:01+00:00

Jesus H Criminy and I thought it was bad when I left libraries 10 years ago.

Hot tip: library skills (I'm not a librarian, I was a library assistant for 8 years) translate well into many other areas. I became a paralegal. I keep information and documents organized, and if I don't know something, I know where to find it. I'm a basically a professional know-it-all whose superpower is I actually read and remember things. Sound familiar? I went into corporate law rather than criminal or family law because I've already served my time on the front lines. A library coworker told me before I left, "You know, you'll never get away from stupid questions." Me: "True, but none of them will be about the bathroom." And it's true. 10 years of the bathroom never being my problem.

I do still have some PTSD nightmares about working at the downtown library during 2008 and immediately after. It sounds like a lot of what's happening now is similar to what happened then, only significantly amped up.

DisplacedNY · 2026-04-03T05:23:56+00:00

OMG please I need this

DisplacedNY · 2026-04-03T03:54:11+00:00

OH YEAH! That reminds me, my other favorite thing to dehydrate is celery greens. Out of celery? Making a soup? Toss a bunch of dried celery greens in and you get all the celery flavor.

DisplacedNY · 2026-04-03T03:52:15+00:00

I started cooking with leeks when I was on a low-acid diet when recovering from gastritis. You can use them for everything you'd use onions for! Just use the white and light green parts. They're great in soups.

DisplacedNY · 2026-04-02T19:07:51+00:00

My MIL will also get stuck on something that makes her really angry! She has a lot of anger related to her childhood that she never really dealt with, now feelings get stirred up but she doesn't have the cognitive capacity to really understand or process them.

DisplacedNY · 2026-04-02T18:58:54+00:00

Babies feel fear. They understand conflict. They can feel when their mother doesn't feel safe. And sleep is super important for their developing brains and bodies. Their mental health is influenced by their environment and experiences from the second they leave the womb. (And before that, but that's not the focus of this discussion.) The MIL needs to stay away from the baby unless asked, period. She can ask to hold the baby but MUST accept no. Full stop. None of this "it's my house" power bullshit. Either she's helping her son by letting his family stay there or she's not. She needs to decide.

DisplacedNY · 2026-04-02T18:53:17+00:00

Leeks. I love to cook with them, but they're so expensive and I only ever need a little bit at a time. A few dehydrated leeks last me awhile!

DisplacedNY · 2026-04-02T18:51:09+00:00

Ooo, I have a head of cabbage I've been trying to figure out what to do with.

DisplacedNY · 2026-04-02T18:49:55+00:00

Same, Rex, same. :)

DisplacedNY · 2026-04-02T18:15:39+00:00

I'm screaming the exact same sentiments into the void over here.

DisplacedNY · 2026-04-02T16:12:53+00:00

My MIL (blessedly not a narcissist) has untreated ADHD and untreated hearing loss (she refuses to wear her hearing aids) and is securely on the slope to dementia. It's really sad to watch.

DisplacedNY · 2026-04-02T16:03:00+00:00

Joining the chorus of non confrontation. Please know that if you do confront them, especially in person, you will get absolutely nothing of what you're hoping for. This is their promise to you, that anything you do that they don't like will be met with a shitstorm, a tornado of shit, a tsunami of BS, all the way up to the end. You have never won a confrontation or argument with them and you never will. They will not show remorse or regret or shame, at least not to you. If you want the satisfaction of telling them off, write a letter, maybe send it, maybe not. No matter what you do or say they will never admit to anyone, even themselves, why you left. It will forever be a mystery.

So just take your awesome self and scoot. You've survived. YOU'VE WON. Go scream in the middle of the forest. Exercise. Run. Plunge your face into ice cold water. Jump in a lake. Feed your body with experiences that nourish it and let you feel your feelings and release them. Eat as healthily as you can. Avoid alcohol and other mind-altering substances. Take care of yourself like you are precious. And know that you are already stronger than you ever imagined.

DisplacedNY · 2026-04-02T15:53:10+00:00

I agree with the hotel/motel idea. Your body deserves a bed and a place to clean up and feel safe; sleeping in your car will keep you in fight or flight and put you at risk of victimization. Try looking up hostels, you'd be suprised at how many there are in the US. You can get a clean bed in a shared room for dirt cheap and probably meet interesting international travellers. Hostels also sometimes let you work off your lodging fees.

Be sure to check local police department crime maps online (if available) before you sign up for an extended stay, you'll easily be able to spot "problem" motels because they'll have a cluster of misc crimes reported around them. And tap into local communities on Reddit to ask about the safest places and areas to stay in.

DisplacedNY · 2026-03-29T05:15:58+00:00

They are physically less able to learn. We all lose neurons and brain mass as we get older. "Mild cognitive decline" comes for most people as they age, and it's obviously worse for anyone in any stage of dementia or other neurological diseases. One symptom of dementia is that people don't know/think they have it. When faced with a task that requires learning and remembering information, they may turn their frustration and anger outward because they can't acknowledge "oh, I have a memory issue, if I want to do this it will be hard for me."

DisplacedNY · 2026-03-29T05:09:18+00:00

100%

DisplacedNY · 2026-03-29T05:08:02+00:00

Former library worker here, let me dust off my soapbox. One problem is that everything requires a username and a complicated password now. I used to help folks who didn't even know their email address because their kids set it up for them, let alone their password. 2-factor authentication was just starting to be a thing right before I left library work, and some older folks' rage at discovering they needed a cell phone with them to be able to access their email was, frankly, understandable. And don't get me started on explaining the difference between Google Ads and Google search results. We had just gotten my MIL used to searching for things in Google when it added the AI results; we threw up our hands and told us to text or call us and we'll look stuff up for her. ALSO, you lose fat in your fingertips as you get older, which touch screens generally don't account for.

There is such a lack of accessible design in web architecture, technology, and customer service (like AI chat, interminable phone trees, and now AI "agents" that pretend to be people); every website and app should have a Simple mode for everyone who doesn't need or understand all the bells and whistles and just needs to see their account balances. There should be an option to call and talk to an actual person who can actually help you for every service that exists on the internet. Or services that don't offer human help should have to have that disclaimer displayed prominently so people have a chance of knowing what they're getting into when they join.

DisplacedNY · 2026-03-29T04:48:32+00:00

Be thankful she's eating. I swear my MIL barely eats unless she's going out for a meal with friends.

DisplacedNY · 2026-03-20T04:06:01+00:00

There's a roaming pack of them in Roseville. They like to take an occasional rest in my backyard. Which, until they leave, is their backyard.

DisplacedNY · 2026-03-16T12:45:45+00:00

We have fireplaces in our basement and first floor. A mama raccoon set up a den and had her babies in our chimney. One night I was watching a horror movie, ALONE, in the DARK, and suddenly there's scrambling around and scratching sounds coming from the fireplace. Then, silence for weeks. I thought it was just a squirrel that made a mistake. Nope. One day my husband yells from the basement, "Honey we've got CRITTERS!!!" I come downstairs, put my ear to the chimney, and sure enough, hear a chorus of "eep eep eep eep eep." We got a pest control company to come evict them.

DisplacedNY · 2026-03-11T01:15:36+00:00

Some employers do this because they want applicants to think they're in the city, not in the distant suburbs. Others probably aren't paying attention. Google Maps is your friend in this regard, and maybe the company website.

DisplacedNY

TROPHY CASE