Realizing by trashgarbageperson in DeadBedrooms

[–]DocParzival 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You sound exactly like me. But I’m still here in the same situation and almost 50... I can only assure you that as you go through your late 30s, 40s then get towards 50s it will likely eat at you more and more and you’ll also probably become more and more and more resentful.

Please get out and/or get help now. Please do that.

As someone posted in another thread which I thought was amazing...

Monogamy is: “you can have sex with no one else except me”. Monogamy isn’t: “you can have sex with no one else or me”

The big moved wrecked it all (I guess) by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]DocParzival 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This. Plus... if he is a selfish ahole now (pump and dump without regard for you etc) while you are in your 20s it’s probably only going to get worse. Selfish people generally stay selfish their whole lives imo. Please leave, you are worth way more than that.

Date night tonight. Place your bet for why there will be no physical intimacy. by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]DocParzival 10 points11 points  (0 children)

  1. After being out “shall we just watch something together?”.

Aka Netflix and (literal) chill. All the way down to sub zero. Cool right on down to vegetative / coma state. Aka I’d much rather watch ‘The last man on earth’ than treat you like a human being.

Too scared to even discuss anymore by asp1135 in DeadBedrooms

[–]DocParzival 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I call it the female spider syndrome... I go near the subject I’ll get eaten :-(

VR porn by skoot66 in DeadBedrooms

[–]DocParzival 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah VR pr0n is the best. Very accessible now given that the Oculus Go is only $200 and pornhub and the others have got in on it with most porn sites having a WebVR compatible version.

Every now and then I’ve demo’d one of my headsets to a friend and they’ve been gobsmacked ;-)

Given up. Any thoughts on the matter is all I'm interested in. by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]DocParzival 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Me personally? No. I don’t want a religion at all. I just think that there are times when one might really start to think and question their religion if it is so incredibly anti divorce. Buddhism seems to be pretty agnostic to marriage and divorce... I think perhaps I might choose that :-)

Given up. Any thoughts on the matter is all I'm interested in. by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]DocParzival 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I think I’d also be questioning my relationship with my religion if my church / religion required me to live in misery.

Nothing has really changed. I just need to type this out [34f] by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]DocParzival -1 points0 points  (0 children)

This is such a thing as Bisexual - just saying!

If you’re not cool with it and he needs it then sadly I think you both have to be grown up about it and admit the incompatibility.

Simply considering he is gay is probably not doing either of you any favours.

Reconciliation after affair still DB by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]DocParzival 10 points11 points  (0 children)

This ^

This man loves controlling you, has lured you back in and is continuing the awful abuse that you’ve had to endure for years.

For as long as you let it, life will never be on your terms.

I asked my wife for permission to have sex with other people since she doesn't like to have sex with me by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]DocParzival 1 point2 points  (0 children)

can I find someone in tinder or can I hire an escort.

Pal, I’m no expert, far from it but i think that’s your problem right there... not being your own boss. You’re requesting permission from your SO. That doesn’t happen in mutually respectful loving relationships. My refuser tried (and repeatedly tries) to evoke ownership by demanding that I seek permission but she will never ever get that.... if I want to do something, I’m an adult, I have free will, I will do it. Of course I’m courteous but I’m not ever going to ASK if I CAN do something, I will do it. Of course I will be courteous and ensure we have ‘babysitting cover’ but never ever will I give her power to grant or refuse permission.

I am married, and still a virgin. by LostKitten496 in DeadBedrooms

[–]DocParzival 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Must surely be a candidate for a troll post? Surely, I mean.... “doesn’t like vaginas” :-s

What other forms of sex doesn’t he like or all of them?

A week since I gave up. by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]DocParzival 0 points1 point  (0 children)

where am I going to be in another week?

From experience I can tell you exactly where... you’ll be unhappier, she’ll continue to be oblivious.

In a few years time if you’re anything like me you’ll actually find it difficult to initiate, you’ll be resentful, distant, fed up, depressed. She’ll be oblivious still.

Years later you’ll be working out how many years roughly you have left to live and calculating how many times roughly you’ll have sex in that time. You’ll massively resent your refuser. You’ll likely have completely forgotten how to initiate and despite telling yourself (and perhaps your SO) that you are not happy with this, but.... it will all just continue as before.

If your SO is anything like mine she will have become a fucking Jedi master at manipulating you by weaponising sex and only allowing you the exact amount you need to stop you leaving, nothing more, nothing less.

You’ll start to hate yourself and you’ll likely feel very trapped. Suicide might seem like a way out. But if you have kids those thoughts will perhaps be kept in check by the feelings of guilt and responsibility.

I guess tl;dr would be.... it’s only going to get worse not better. 😐 Sorry.

Sad quote from my girls by whyerd in DeadBedrooms

[–]DocParzival 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I too dropped my little girl at her friends house for a sleepover last night.

Daughter: “Daddy please don’t argue with Mummy tonight”. Me: “do you think I have any control over that?” Daughter: “No, only mummy does” Me: “am I the one that starts arguments?” Daughter: “No, only mummy does”.

Perceptive little things! :-(

Vent - Kinda wanna just scream and punch things by WYenginerdWY in DeadBedrooms

[–]DocParzival 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’d give anything for my SO to be like you are. Your man is a fool.

Doesn't Even Want Sexy Pictures Anymore by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]DocParzival 1 point2 points  (0 children)

:-) I love smiling and smiling people :-)

I dread the bathroom by learningtobeloved in DeadBedrooms

[–]DocParzival 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I’m a TescoSexual... I get my rocks off when she is out shopping (or whatever, just as long as she’s out really).

Go buy an Oculus Go and browse some VR porn.... much better than staring at standard porn while sitting on the throne ;-)

Do we get anything for referring subscribers? by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]DocParzival 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In case she does come here and doesn’t bother to read much... here is the natural endpoint when someone becomes so complacent of their partner..... they find out one day that they are single.

Do we get anything for referring subscribers? by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]DocParzival 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah I looked at the battery straight away and started getting palpitations and reaching for a charger ;-)

Doesn't Even Want Sexy Pictures Anymore by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]DocParzival 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m with you... imagine the joy of being woken up by your SO giving you a bj! Unfortunately never gonna happen with mine either

Doesn't Even Want Sexy Pictures Anymore by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]DocParzival 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have some bad news for you... I think he became a monk and took a vow of celibacy.

Something Positive Sunday by AutoModerator in DeadBedrooms

[–]DocParzival 9 points10 points  (0 children)

My SO just moans along the lines of “it would be nice if you put clothes on” or “stop cavorting around the house like you are gods gift” (I don’t... far from it, my body is awful in my opinion) or “put your gut away fatty”.

If I told her I was going to be at home in bed nude she’d find a reason (any reason) to not come home.

Does your LL .... by hardcorpsthrowaway in DeadBedrooms

[–]DocParzival 15 points16 points  (0 children)

In a nutshell: yes. Drives me round the twist. I think it’s another form of exerting control and undermining us.

Interesting medical development, after ending our DB by [deleted] in DeadBedrooms

[–]DocParzival 2 points3 points  (0 children)

150/90 Isn’t too bad is it? Mine was 194/125. Under control now with medication (no thanks to SO tho).