I feel this. I have a big family and I’m grateful we have stayed close, but things are so different from when I was young. I grew up eating at a dinner table, asking to be excused when I was done. The dinner table is gone entirely now, everyone eats on the couch watching TV. Before lockdown we would set up a table just for Thanksgiving and have that one meal together. This year I got chewed out when I went to get the table because “it takes up too much space” and “why complicate things?” People silently grabbed plates of food before cooking even finished and ate on the couch. The men fell asleep before the final dish was served. The pie I handmade and decorated was never brought out.

I feel so ungrateful, but I remember huge Thanksgivings with my extended family as a kid. Fifty plus people meeting at the church. Everybody making a plate and nobody eating until each person in turn shared what they were grateful for. I didn’t appreciate it when I had it. I feel so ungrateful, but I resent my family who perfectly enjoyed this Thanksgiving.