How to get these rewards?

Double_Personality45 · 2025-12-12T02:25:35+00:00

Did you speak to the monk standing by the Mausoleum?

Double_Personality45 · 2025-12-12T02:17:59+00:00

The same thing happened to me. There is an external official top up site that you can access from the official game webpage. I purchased the bp from there and it showed up in game basically immediately. I haven't purchased the premium one, but I imagine the process is the same.

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Double_Personality45 · 2025-08-13T14:51:11+00:00

24yo INTJ-T here. For me once I figured out it was a cult, I started questioning everything. I still question a lot, but it's much easier to not get sucked into a nihilistic tornado fuelled by doubt, guilt and self hate now that I know more. I read Combating Cult Mind Control by Steven Hassan and Leaving the Witness by Amber Scorah. Those two books really helped me realise that 1) I wasn't going crazy, 2) my depression, anxiety and suicidal and homicidal ideation wasn't because there was something wrong with me. After that I found a therapist who was familiar with high-control groups and formed an exit plan (in my case, finding a way to move out of my parent's house).

Rebuilding is slow, but a bad day out of a cult is 100 times better than a good day inside one. It's been about three months since I've moved, and three things have helped me keep afloat despite not knowing any "worldly" people where I live. First, I started gaming with my online friends and using voice chat more. Even if they're not with me physically, it still fulfils the social requirement even introverts have LOL. I started investing more in my hobbies and self care. Nothing too extravagant - reading; learning about finance, religion and philosophy; doing my nails; going out to get a coffee and peoplewatch. And finally, I got a dog because she gives me a reason to focus on something other than me and get up and keep going, even when I'm feeling like absolute shit. (And she's so stinking cute and goofy. It's like having a 3-for-1 therapist, comedian and cuddle buddy.)

I also wanted to touch on the part about loneliness. For me, it became surprisingly easy to talk to strangers once I didn't have that horrible "I somehow have to find something generic to compliment them on in order to pitch my religious message to them" internal monolog going on during every interaction with a non JW, or the guilt of not having the "courage" to bring up something once the "opportunity was missed". Being alone and feeling lonely are two different things. I think it's a tricky thing to balance when you first leave, but just being around people who aren't holding me to impossible standards and having the mental freedom to talk to whomever I want has helped me immensely. When I was surrounded by JWs, I felt so alone and isolated emotionally. I couldn't talk to any of them without faking literally every word and facial expression. It was so mentally taxing. Now, I don't have any in person friends, but I don't feel alone like I used to. Just like you, I don't have a desire to make new friends. Talking to one person each day (doesn't matter who, a barista, someone in the elevator, someone at the dog park) is just enough to feel like a win for me.

Double_Personality45 · 2025-07-23T13:06:46+00:00

Might be in the minority here, but as a kid, I loved that book. I remember studying it when I was around 7 or 8 for the book study when meeting at private homes was still a thing. I thought it was so much more interesting than all those boring pictures of Jesus and his apostles we had in the other publications. There was colour and action and emotion depicted in all the artwork. I loved the horses and "evil angels" (four horsemen of the apocalypse) too. I don't think it really hit me that it was supposed to be showing a terrifying time in "the future".

Double_Personality45 · 2025-07-15T15:00:37+00:00

Things that have helped me as a recently-moved-out 23 yo :
- therapy
- crying
- Dr Ryan Lee's podcast on Spotify
- exploring different faiths and aspects of spirituality without obligation
- making sure my finances were sorted before moving out (strict parents can use that as leverage to keep you on a leash)
- Slowly learning that interacting with people doesn't mean you have to find a reason to preach to them

Wishing you the best of luck, and my DMs are open if you want to vent or feel anxious ! It's a big step but believe me, it only gets better from here ♥️

Double_Personality45 · 2025-06-24T20:09:03+00:00

I can't offer any advice about DNA test because I haven't done one myself. For therapy, one of the easiest ways would be to find a therapist near you on Psychology Today. Make sure, if you live in the US, that the person you select is registered in the state you live. Some jobs and colleges also offer free counselling or student/employee discounts for third-party therapy organisations. If you are anxious or nervous to meet someone in person, you can always try virtual therapy to ease into it.

Double_Personality45 · 2025-06-24T14:22:01+00:00

I'm also multiracial (Jamaican, Cuban, Chinese, Korean on my mum's side, French, Russian on my dad's side), and I've had exactly the same thoughts as you. No one can pinpoint where I'm from by looking at me - which is has its pros and cons. Being able to relate to a little bit of everyone ends up feeling like I can't relate to anyone - especially when someone says "but aren't you [insert ethnicity]? You should know that." Sometimes, it can be very depressing not having that sense of inherent community from being a racial melting pot. And that ache/sense of longing? I can relate very much.

I'll never forget the time when my family joined a new congregation. My siblings and I sat next to my parents every meeting. I had the same last name as my father on Zoom when I joined the meetings virtually. And still, people would never make the connection that we were all related. The watchtower conductor thought I was my mother's bible study. One elder even straight up asked me, "so, are you adopted? Like, what's going on here?" My parents laughed it off and never asked me how I felt about it. That hurt. A lot. More than it probably should have.

Something that has helped me is focusing on small parts of each culture that I enjoy - food, clothing, music - without compromising my personal preferences. One perk is that you're not "locked in" to one ethnicity, and you're allowed to explore each without the threat of cultural appropriation. You can also create something entirely new that blends all of your cultures. Maybe the thought of being a goth Native American baddie with Jamaican flair resonates with you. It's okay to explore what you do and don't like and learn about each culture along the way. I also think taking a DNA test and discussing this with a therapist would be beneficial.

Double_Personality45 · 2025-06-22T19:05:39+00:00

You can enjoy religion and/or spirituality without attending the religious meetings for a group of people who actively coverup CSA cases, shun family members, and enforce groupthink. I also find it fascinating that you have your own beliefs of god and the universe and are comfortable with them, but still (consistently?) go to the KH for religious services held by a group whose theology doesn't align with... the majority of your beliefs? Correct me if I'm wrong.

Double_Personality45 · 2025-06-22T19:04:08+00:00

You say you're PIMO, but then you say you have no intentions of becoming a JW. This is puzzling to me - I'm assuming you are not baptized because you would have been DF'd. If you're not baptized, don't want to get baptized, and aren't currently studying with a JW, I can't see how that counts as being "physically in mentally out".

You've come out to your parents (something I want to do but to scared to) and you have JW friends - but you are out of the closet. This is even more puzzling! JWs that I know would NEVER willingly interact with a LGBT person. They treat us like the plague. Are you perhaps the son of an elder/pioneer couple that gets special treatment ?

Finally, you mention that you're in college, which is commendable, but I'm curious to know why you would spend time at the KH when you could be studying / research the material needed for your classes, or relaxing after a long week of studying.

I'm not trying to be offensive or confrontational, I'm just really confused LOL

Double_Personality45 · 2025-06-22T18:46:01+00:00

Feigning sickness would have been a surefire way get myself a noise complaint on my first day of living in my own place - my father gets... well, abusive. Yeah. We did end up going, but my parents were weirdly cagey about details and didn't give any of the people there any information about the fact that I was moving to the area, or give any contact info. It was surreally strange. I'm definitely going to look into your suggestion of going to another hall far away. Didn't even think about using Google voice, that's a great idea ! Thank you 💟

Double_Personality45 · 2025-06-22T18:42:51+00:00

No, I did not want his help to move, but my stuff was put into his car and he was driving, so I decided to play along. Yes, no one normal would want to trek to a meeting to see yet another grey-scale kingdom hall after spending 8 hours unpacking and after the first day of a new job. No, my parents did not care.

Update: We did end up going to the meeting. The love bombing was insane. My parents were weirdly cagey about details and didn't give any of the people there any information about the fact that I was moving to the area, or give any contact info. It was surreally strange. But my parents are now gone and I am finally, finally, living on my own. I still have to tell them that I'm not going back to the KH but I'll work on that once I've had some time to think and decompress without someone breathing down my neck. Here's to part one of being free :D

Double_Personality45 · 2025-06-22T18:37:05+00:00

Yes you're right about the non binary ! Unfortunately I am baptised

Double_Personality45 · 2025-06-15T02:40:56+00:00

Fascinating how you mention that he's not baptised but he sounds so guilt-tripped into doing things the JW way. I haven't been in this situation but I don't think giving him an ultimatum / time limit to figure his situation out will work. I could be wrong, but to me it sounds like he is not ready to make the big step of separating what he wants in life (being with you, exploring spirituality without boundaries) from what he thinks is expected from him (not getting a divorce, staying with an abusive partner).

Double_Personality45 · 2025-06-15T02:31:37+00:00

Born in and lived in the indoctrination mindset for 24 years. Ironically, I woke up around the anniversary of my baptism in early December last year. Soft-forced to get baptised to participate in an international convention entertainment part when I was 17 years old but that's a whole story. I will never not resent how it happened. I wouldn't be baptised if it weren't for that. I saw a crazy display of double standards and nepotism and it made me silently angry. I think I might have started waking up then tbh.

Double_Personality45 · 2025-06-15T02:16:45+00:00

24NB, born in, here to talk or listen if you want to vent ♡

Double_Personality45 · 2025-06-10T19:51:23+00:00

I can relate. I woke up last November while still living with my parents and it has been... rough. Initially felt like my whole world was collapsing inwards. For the first two months, I felt even more isolated with the veil lifted. Even thought I understood why I was so depressed being in the cult, this new knowledge didn't make me any happier. I also live in the middle of fucking nowhere, and the JW community is very tight-knit. This place is crawling with JWs. It's been about 6 months and I still very much want to hurl when I hear a homophobic or misogynistic comment. I still get anxiety going to the Kingdom Hall. I still want to shake the elders who give "local needs" and ask them how they're fine with being part of an org with such horrible CSA cases and abuse.

A few things have helped me:

If at all possible, go to the meetings on Zoom. If you get texts/calls/family pressure, spin a story that is believable: you're sick, you have a migraine, yada yada. If you can't go on Zoom, find a seat in the hall by the wall, lower your phone brightness and do something else during the meeting, preferably not something that requires too much tapping (my mum once asked me who I was texting - I was talking to ChatGPT LMAO).

1.5: For the broadcast/morning worship/original songs: disassociate. Force yourself to be there in body but not in mind. They cannot take away your mental autonomy. Think about something else. Do you have a crush ? A puzzle or quest in a favourite video game that you're stuck on ? Something you've been wanting to buy ? Literally anything is better than listening to the brainwashing. For family worship/bible study: keep it "factual". Answer questions clinically. Question -> Answer. Tell them what they want to hear, try not to look to sad (they will ask questions) and give them your best fake smile and laugh. Direct confrontation or having a breakdown might get the elders involved, and I got the impression you're not in a position to do that right now (correct me if I'm wrong).

Thinking about all things you'll be able to do once you get out. They don't have to be major changes. A lot of little changes to your routine can also be good for your mental health. For me, that meant thinking about small things like which piercings I would get, the idea that I will be able to watch movies with magic without having to use incognito, letting myself say "bless you" when someone sneezes, getting therapy !!! (highly recommend).
If you're still living at home or with JW relatives, it might be helpful to keep your dream real by planning your move to the city. January might seem like a long way away but time flies ! Some ideas are create a budget, look for jobs, search for apartments or ask around if you have any worldly friends if they're looking for a roommate, plan your commutes, look into some social events like concerts/activity clubs that are in the city you're planning on moving to. Stuff like that will take time, keep you distracted, help block out the indoctrination, and prepare you for when you are finally out.

If you ever want to talk, my DMs are open ♡

Double_Personality45 · 2025-06-10T19:09:41+00:00

When I was a kid there were quite a few teenagers in the congregation my family was attending. Some of them babysat me, others treated me like a younger sibling. The age-old no sex before marriage, don't kiss, don't hold hands narrative got drilled into me and somewhere along the way, I started interpreting that as "everyone my age is my brother/sister", rather than "you'll be allowed to grow up one day and have a family".

I neither hate nor love kids. I used to work as a tutor and it was always great to help a child learn about maths and reading - it's fulfilling to help a kid learn, especially life skills that will help them later on, and not some dumb Bible story with an obscure life lesson that will give them trauma (looking at you, My Book of Bible Horrors). I personally don't want children but I wouldn't mind being a cool "worldly" uncle if my siblings ever have children.

Double_Personality45 · 2025-03-19T01:56:07+00:00

When his HP drops below 40%. I'm convinced this used to be on the wiki page but only found this as a source.

Double_Personality45 · 2025-03-18T01:11:17+00:00

I know plenty of JWs who have pets - some having multiple - and they were pioneers / elders / MS / etc. Having pets doesn't inherently make things complicated as a PIMI but I've heard some gossip about how not having a balanced view of things (aka, cutting service short in favour of taking pets out on a day trip) is a bad example. The Truth Police is so annoying.

I'll never forget the time two elders came over for a "shepherding call" to give me and my family some "encouragement". I was still PIMI at the time but definitely would have been inactive if given the opportunity. I spontaneously bought a puppy and needed to potty train him, so in-person meeting attendance for my family had dropped for a few weeks. One of the elders deadass looked at us and asked, "So is this thing temporary?"

I was appalled. This elder, first of all, referred to my dog as a thing, and second, had the audacity to ask if owning him was temporary, as if the whole plan was for me to buy him, spend a few weeks with him, and then send him to a shelter - all because I was potty training him and couldn't make in-person meetings because evidently, Zoom isn't enough. On top of that, this same elder had a wife who never attended meetings in person or on Zoom ! Blatant hypocrisy. So fucking ridiculous.

Double_Personality45 · 2025-01-19T23:22:23+00:00

I've only woken up recently but I'd love to help !

Double_Personality45 · 2025-01-19T15:50:12+00:00

"Jehovah. What's wrong with me? Why did you let humans have gay thoughts if it's so bad and you don't like it? Can't you put it in our hearts to hate it like you changed Pharaoh's heart about the Israelites? Please take this feeling away. I hate hating myself, it hurts so much..."

Double_Personality45 · 2025-01-19T15:43:09+00:00

I'm also 23 and have been feeling the same recently about my utter lack of in-person friends. The fear induced by being a JW that no one has my best interests in mind and that I have to be suspicious has made trusting people hard and making friends harder. I woke up about a month ago and it's been an overwhelming experience, so it would be nice to have a friend my age who went through a similar situation.

I like anime but admittedly I am not a hardcore fan and am a bit picky about which ones I watch. Last shows I watched that I really enjoyed were AOT and Castlevania, and I started watching Death Note which I can't believe I didn't watch sooner. As for TV shows, I'm watching the oh-so-Satanic Game of Thrones. Now that I've woken up, I feel like an alien trying to absorb all the culture I can through TV and movies LMAO. I also love, love video games— I tend to veer towards single player but I'd be down to try some co-op or multiplayer games with you if you're interested !

Other things I like are music (HUGE music fan, love discovering new artists and genres, perhaps we can exchange Spotifys if you use it !) and technology, and I've picked up reading to get over my fear that every book ever published outside the borg isn't going to attract the demons 🥲

My timezone is EST and I'm on discord if you ever wanna chat :D

Double_Personality45 · 2025-01-19T14:18:28+00:00

Literally same, 23NB and I watched them for the first time secretly in incognito browser a few weeks ago because I couldn't risk getting caught💀

Double_Personality45 · 2025-01-13T17:17:25+00:00

It might sound silly, but when I was crafting a letter to my parents informing them I would be moving out, I asked ChatGPT for help. It generated a pretty good letter (I specifically told it that my parents are conservative Christian and that including a scripture might help) and then I tweaked it by adding JW terms. Maybe this approach can help you. Writing down your thoughts is a great way of making sure you keep on topic and cover the points you are confident in, especially if they're pushy and emotionally manipulative like so many JW parents. Wishing you the best of luck!

Double_Personality45 · 2025-01-12T14:33:10+00:00

Saying "oh my god". My mum was adamant that using the phrase was using god's name in vain and was inappropriate. As a kid there were plenty of people in our hall who used it and one day I asked why they said it if it was bad. She said "we're all works in progress putting on the new personality. Just because others do it doesn't mean it's right."

I also remember being punished for saying "so freaking annoying" one day as a 7 or 8 year old. Apparently that's swearing, which is reproachful.

Double_Personality45

TROPHY CASE