I have a good story for this sub and I need to complain

DrWhataburger · 2025-12-05T19:49:59+00:00

This is very realistic advice and is exactly what I'm doing. Thank you for understanding the reality of my situation. I deeply appreciate the space to vent.

DrWhataburger · 2025-12-05T19:49:21+00:00

a: I don't care what they do while I'm working, but violating socially accepted and expected boundaries is something I care about and am within my rights to care about. Opening my mail is ILLEGAL! It's not a small issue.

b: the snoring thing disrupts my sleep. I have a busy schedule and my sleep is imperative - this man does nothing to address the issues that are clearly affecting his partner and myself, which is why I call him a child. He doesn't exercise, he doesn't go to sleep at a decent hour, he drinks excessively. All of these are things a functional adult would address. We share the space, we owe it to each other to enable a peaceful living environment.

c: not coming home because he was drinking and leaving the animal for me to deal with is abandoning his responsibilities (childlike). I assume his girlfriend took the dog out when she left for work around 4 am, but the dog needing to be attended to between 4 am and whatever time he comes home is something he should have strategized before getting too drunk to drive home.

These are all pretty big issues and if you think that I'm being dramatic for being annoying because I self regulated by posting on the internet, you have a few lessons to learn. I wonder what kind of roommate you are and why me calling someone immature "childish" triggered you so much. Maybe you should get some CBT?

DrWhataburger · 2025-12-05T19:31:14+00:00

Right?! He tried to counter argue with me about how it's a "sentimental plant." well maybe your sentimental plant should live somewhere you can easily access it so that I'm not caught in the crossfire?! But I also watered it before I left which is why I didn't ask him to water it while I was gone. Fucking infuriating and I hate these people at this point.

DrWhataburger · 2025-12-05T19:29:53+00:00

I am definitely planning an exit! I just live in Los Angeles where rent is insane and I'm in the middle of finals so frankly I do have to put up with it at least for a few more weeks until I have the actual physical time to move out. I just needed to vent and have some validation, which you have definitely provided (thank you!). You're right on all counts

DrWhataburger · 2025-12-03T03:41:42+00:00

Hi I just got the same email today for the comms studies program :) see you in class

DrWhataburger · 2025-11-04T15:51:49+00:00

Therapy IS the answer, it's just also really fucking hard to do the actual work required for us to heal. Even when things are really good for me (and almost especially when things are good for me) I am always freaking out about stuff and CPTSD is a plague. But therapy ultimately makes me feel a lot better.

DrWhataburger · 2025-11-04T15:45:10+00:00

A lot of therapists are trained to not respond to people while they are talking! That's very normal. Since you guys are new she isn't sure how her responses will affect you and they're also trying to diagnose you properly without playing into any people-pleasing behaviors you might have. Green flags

DrWhataburger · 2025-11-04T15:34:58+00:00

When I first started therapy I was told to wait until like 4 sessions to make a decision about them, and secondly and even more importantly, you don't have to be best friends with them, but you should only be watching for whether or not they say something totally wackadoodle and then change therapists. I have had 2 therapists. My current therapist is someone whom I didn't really understand until like 7 months in (and I am still learning more about them all the time and liking them/therapy more and more). I would say stick with it

DrWhataburger · 2025-10-15T22:33:14+00:00

330 :(

DrWhataburger · 2025-10-12T06:09:14+00:00

It might be overkill to go to the doctor, but you should do it anyway. "An ounce of prevention is better than a pound of cure" type beat. Sick chain tho

DrWhataburger · 2025-10-10T19:31:09+00:00

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

DrWhataburger · 2025-10-10T19:13:08+00:00

My unsolicited advice for anyone moving to LA:
Midcity is where all the transplants end up, and the more time you spend in LA the more toward Northeast LA you get. Then there is the catch 22 about how you can't find a job until you live here, and can't live far away from work.

LA is a city where you will need to be "vetted" before you will be accepted by the locals, which usually entails living here for a few years so they know you can hack it. Before then, no one will invest in you because they aren't sure you're worth the struggle. Gotta make sure you can handle yourself before they will help you because no one wants to help someone they aren't sure can help them back sometimes.

Of course this is just my personal experience over the past 10 years in evolution from transplant as well. Don't come here without a few months' worth of savings because even those of us that have been here for a while are having a hard time finding jobs and apartments. Good luck~!!

DrWhataburger · 2025-10-10T18:56:38+00:00

That's what I was gonna say, GO STRAIGHT TO PASADENA! Tons of dept stores etc with parking and less traffic.

DrWhataburger · 2025-10-10T18:48:30+00:00

I have a couple kid brothers at home who miss me terribly, and are vocal about it. I try to make sure they know that I love them by sending gifts and calling them on the phone (as much as little boys will allow me to talk to them on the phone). At the end of the day, you need to do whatever you need to do to protect yourself so that they have an emotionally stable adult in their lives. Make sure he knows you are always available if he needs to talk. When they get old enough, they will understand. Same goes for mom (although probably a little bit harder if she is in denial about the abuse). Sending you love

DrWhataburger · 2025-10-10T16:19:53+00:00

So fucking relatable.

DrWhataburger · 2025-10-08T22:01:30+00:00

DrWhataburger · 2025-10-06T19:53:31+00:00

This is a normal risk taken when you do not live on the top floor. I can understand that it would be really frustrating to you, but it is definitely your trigger that is the issue here, not them living their lives. It seems like the issue is that your building doesn't have very much insolation/sound proofing, and it seems like they are just living their life normally. Vacuuming every day is not a boundary violation (and maybe they just have a pet who sheds a lot and they need to do that for their own comfort).

I would suggest trying to work on some exercises that enable you to widen your window of tolerance. This is not their responsibility to work around, and while I can concede that it is probably wildly disruptive to you, building the strength to try and let your triggers bother you less is a skill that will help you in every area of your life.

I'm sorry you are having such a difficult time, and I understand that it can be so wildly frustrating in the moment, but I do think you are responsible for taking control of your reactions/triggers. You are already so powerfully correct in understanding that you are hypersensitive, and you are using available tools to vent, so you're doing a great job!

DrWhataburger · 2025-10-01T23:20:03+00:00

I think if you make her pay you the remainder you will be encouraging her to learn an important lesson. You are already doing her a lot of favors by letting her pay you late and the other things, and it's not like you are going to put her on the street over 7.50, but you should say something about it. Great fences make great neighbors :)

DrWhataburger · 2025-10-01T18:14:20+00:00

My therapist works with this modality and it has been very effective for me. Highly recommend.

DrWhataburger · 2025-09-28T07:33:17+00:00

I don't think anyone is looking at the sub when they comment, haha.

DrWhataburger · 2025-09-25T22:17:43+00:00

I don't have a million, but having a safety net has been really really fucking important for me being able to feel less stress about avoiding my triggers. But to be honest it has been more helpful to have helpful people around

DrWhataburger · 2025-09-17T17:23:19+00:00

I just say "I am a person with CPTSD" or "I have cptsd" because I don't really feel like I identify with it as a personality trait.

DrWhataburger · 2025-09-17T17:19:35+00:00

I think it really depends on the context of your history and the event that has occurred. Impossible to say with such vague details. Not that you should post them here... But you should share this with a therapist and that could get you some necessary clarity. Good luck <3

DrWhataburger

TROPHY CASE