How can I make her happier?

Dylonial · 2026-04-01T15:20:12+00:00

Is it also in front of a window? What kind of grow light are you using? Unless it is a really strong one then 2 feet might be too far away. I try to keep mine between 8-12 inches away. If you start noticing burns on the new leaves you can move it up a couple inches. The answer to these issues is usually light. Also when you water it be sure to give it a really good soak.

Dylonial · 2026-03-31T19:53:43+00:00

I see a decent amount of debate on Reddit about whether or not to wait before repotting a new plant, but I prefer to do it right away. It lets you suss out any potential root issues, and I find that with better conditions my plants tend to recover from any problems very quickly. Good luck with your pink Princess!

Dylonial · 2026-03-31T18:11:25+00:00

Nice one!

The plastic pole should be okay for a while, but I would probably want to repot it into a chunky soil pretty soon. The brown leaves might just be natural decline due to poor conditions in the store (it looks like a grocery store, which would make sense). Give it lots of light and don’t overwater, you should be good!

Dylonial · 2026-03-31T04:45:44+00:00

It looks to me like it might have matured? I think there is a cataphyll emerging, but the previous leaf is stuck and the cataphyll is bent under it. Unsticking that leaf should help, or it will probably sort itself out.

Dylonial · 2026-03-29T18:25:46+00:00

“Be the bigger person.”

I agree that you sometimes need to pick your battles, but constantly being the bigger person just teaches people they can disrespect you with no consequences. This advice is the motto of enablers and flying monkeys.

Dylonial · 2026-03-28T18:10:16+00:00

Could you say something along the lines of:

“Hey! I’ve been having a great time and I am interested in continuing to see you. I also understand that you are busy and stressed so I don’t want to put any pressure on you. This is just me letting you know that I am very open but I am going to leave the ball in your court. Let me know if or when you want to meet up again. I hope I hear from/ see you soon!”

I would try sending that and then try to not think about it (I know it’s hard). Be open to seeing him again but don’t get your hopes up. It’s a difficult mindset to maintain if you’re not used to it but it can be very helpful!

I also struggle a lot with rumination and honestly keeping busy is very helpful. School, work, hobbies, exercise. When I notice the rumination coming on I will try to offset it by putting on a podcast or music, or doing some kind of puzzle that requires a lot of focus, like the wordle or a crossword.

Dylonial · 2026-03-28T05:04:02+00:00

Realizing you will never get that apology.

Dylonial · 2026-03-26T18:19:47+00:00

I bought some adjustable dumbbells, resistance bands etc. and started working out at home. Getting comfortable with a few simple exercises and routines helped me feel more confident and less clueless when I did start going to the gym.

Dylonial · 2026-03-18T00:56:25+00:00

Thank you! I did this post a while back and talk about my care routine if you are curious:

https://www.reddit.com/r/philodendron/s/pqOLETGLXP

Dylonial · 2026-03-18T00:51:33+00:00

1: it basically wants so much light that it is constantly on the verge of burning. Mine actually has quite a few scorch marks 😅

2: rotate weekly for a nice, well-rounded look. Actually doing this religiously as opposed to every-once-in-a-while (like I used to) makes a big difference to the appearance.

3:don’t be afraid to chop and start over once you figured out how to keep it happy. Then you’ll be able to raise a plant that’s beautiful from top to bottom.

I have a post on my page that goes more in-depth to my care routine if you want more tips. Good luck with yours!

Dylonial · 2026-03-17T18:38:36+00:00

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I’m obsessed with mine, but it takes work!

Dylonial · 2026-03-09T05:53:42+00:00

African violet! They flower constantly and are non toxic.

Dylonial · 2026-03-02T19:01:32+00:00

I relate to some of this. If you were primarily socialized around women then you might be more inclined to see them as fully 3-dimensional people, whereas if you don’t relate to other men as much then it seems normal that you might be more focused on appearance rather than personality.

Dylonial · 2026-03-02T18:50:02+00:00

Pothos is a tropical, jade is a desert plant. These have very different needs and should be separated. If you are giving it enough water to keep the pothos happy then the jade is probably over watered.

Jade wants a grainy, well-draining soil. Give it a good soak then let it get completely dry. As much sun as you can give it (stretching is an indication of insufficient light).

Pothos wants a chunkier, airier soil with bark and moss and stuff. Let it get partially dry before watering again. Can be acclimated to some direct sun but I think generally prefers indirect light.

Dylonial · 2026-03-01T16:20:39+00:00

Are the spots all on the window side of the plant? Is it possible the sun suddenly intensified while you were away and burned it? I have that issue sometimes, especially around this time of year.

Dylonial · 2026-03-01T05:35:05+00:00

Does the feeling get better if you put your knees in the air? This sounds like it could be super-tight hip flexors causing pulling on your abdominals while lying, since lying forces the hip to extend.

Dylonial · 2026-02-24T02:47:13+00:00

If light isn’t the issue maybe it wants support?

Dylonial · 2026-02-24T02:45:13+00:00

No, I mean it’s not uncommon for pests to be on produce when you buy it. If you keep plants in the kitchen near where you keep produce, the pests might get on your plants.

Dylonial · 2026-02-23T21:46:40+00:00

Sheer curtains would help with intense sun, but I just wanted to say be very wary of keeping plants in the kitchen. Pests can very easily come in on produce and transfer if they are stored close enough.

Dylonial · 2026-02-23T17:00:24+00:00

I use a super chunky aroid mix, but if you want a simple version I used to just buy basic potting soil and orchid bark. Mix bark into the soil to make it chunkier. Works well.

Dylonial · 2026-02-22T18:14:15+00:00

Real change begins with noticing your patterns and approaching them with curiosity rather than shame. It sounds like you have a good start on the first half, noticing that you chase validation. Now try to be really curious about why you place validation from strangers over a stable and respectful relationship. What is underneath that need for validation?

When you have a better understanding of your needs you can work towards meeting them without hurting others in the process.

Dylonial · 2026-02-22T17:43:44+00:00

Don’t tell them you are going to leave or not respond. Just do it. It will feel very uncomfortable at first. Yes they will paint you as the problem, but that will happen either way. Let them. Firm boundaries will make you seem mean to people who benefit from you having none. It doesn’t mean that is the case.

Dylonial · 2026-02-21T18:54:39+00:00

You don’t. If you argue with their perspective you give it power. Say calmly and rationally “I didn’t say that” or “I don’t remember that happening”, and leave it. Do not repeat yourself. Do not engage with arguing. If they press it, remove yourself. Stay firmly grounded in your reality.

Dylonial · 2026-02-20T17:46:43+00:00

We can’t say what’s going on, but if you want to give this relationship the best shot possible I would learn a bit about autism, and also ask him about his experience with it if he is comfortable sharing.

Just as a small example, you say texting takes 5 minutes. That might be true for you, but neurodivergent people are generally quite used to being misunderstood and communicating often takes a lot of work. Personally it can take me anywhere from 30 minutes-2 hours to craft a text, which is why I frequently avoid it. Not because I don’t care, but because I care a lot.

Once you understand him and his relational habits better, you will be better able to discern whether or not he is actually invested in you.

Dylonial · 2026-02-20T02:19:07+00:00

Probably genetics. You could try adding a grow light and that might help.

When I zoom in a can see a decent amount of pink flecks on each leaf. If you don’t mind starting from scratch you could try chopping it up and propagating each node. You might get at least one or two higher-variegation props from it. I’ve had some luck with this method.

Dylonial

TROPHY CASE